royal d-bag...

have you ever met someone who is so offensive that you want to punch them?  one, i am not easily offended, it takes a whole heck of a lot to get under my skin.  two, i am not a violent person but there seems to be a small selection of knuckleheads that need to be knocked around a bit.  i had the unfortunate pleasure of conversing with one such human who joined our table because he knew some of the other people in the group.  it was seriously all i could do to stay in my seat and not strangle the fella.

he describes himself as an entrepreneur.  my interpretation from the words he chose to explain his occupation i'm a big fat slacker and refuse to conform to traditional ways to stay employed and be a productive member of our society.  what would lead me to this conclusion?  this is a human that flounders from odd job to odd job, professing that he could never work for anyone that he is better suited to be his own boss.

at one point he asked me what's with the scarf and turtleneck?  my somewhat bitchy alter ego shouted in my head i'm not here to hook up with my friends so i didn't slut it up tonight.  instead i replied it's winter and i'm cold.  i really wasn't in the mood to egg him on.  why in the world he felt the need to question my choice of attire is beyond me, but whatever. 

somehow the group got into a discussion about being single.  this gem of a human spouted out i choose to be single so i can take my mirror off my wall and cut coke whenever i feel like it.  i almost sprayed my adult beverage on my friends across the booth.  who says stuff like that?  at one point he got really crazy and started talking about marriage and dowries and that the only reason for them was to buy your very own vagina.  that in this day and age you can get a vagina anywhere and there is no reason for marriage.

there was one fella at the table, the boyfriend of one of my good friends, who had never met this stellar human.  he had attempted to rationally talk about why he thought people married in this day and age (because we as humans want to share our lives with another human).  well this stellar human, under his breath, proceeded to tell the boyfriend that he wasn't good looking enough for his girlfriend.  i'm surprised the boyfriend stayed calm. 

as the evening was winding down early, because we were done with this person's contribution to the evening, we headed out to our cars.  the smokers of the group quickly pulled out their gear and generously offered them to the rest of the group.  i politely declined.  again this human felt the need to stir things up oh come on have one.  to make my point really clear i shared that i haven't ever smoked anything i'm not going to start now.  his response no wonder i don't like you, you don't do drugs.  are you freaking kidding me?   

well, as i have learned in my 36 years on this planet, it takes all kinds to make the world go round.  interacting with humans of this quality is a good reminder on why it is so important to think about what you say before letting the words escape your mouth.  although i appreciate his candor and the fact that he is completely comfortable being an a-hole, there is a way to get the same point across without being so obtuse.