176 days ago...

the stars from my tiny window are beautiful.  flying at night is very peaceful. my skyline remains still except for a sudden flash.  a white blur that lasts only seconds.  witnessing one such flash is amazing but to see two within minutes of each other is just short of a miracle.  below the gray haze cities and towns illuminate the earths floor.  whichever state i am over now the haze has dissipated, small clusters of lights are visible and even smaller pinpoint of light connect the clusters.  it is wondrous to see the infrastructure from above.  i wish i knew where i was,, it is  12:30 am, i'm close to halfway. 

i was on a flight from seattle to philadelphia.  on my way to meet a friend.  yes a man friend.  this is probably the single craziest thing i have done in my dating career. 

i'm anxious with anticipation to meet him.  will he be kind and respectful?  will the conversation flow easily?  will it be awkward?  will i recognize him right away?  will he recognize me?  will i be able to relax, turn off my brain and just be in the moment?  will all the stress of the trip be worth it?  i will never have found the answer if i hadn't at least tried.  whatever happens i will know that i didn't chicken out, that i didn't sit back and say it's too complicated.  this is living.

i found this entry in my notes app on my super smart, smart phone.  reading this all of the anxiety and memories from that trip come rushing back.  it started and ended with immense anxiety and unknowns.  the middle of the trip was superb and exciting.  seems strange that it was only 176 days ago, i feel like it has been an eternity.  guess this is a testament to how quickly life goes by.

 

 

here is one of the only photos i have of the trip.  this is a really out of character photo of myself, but we had been challenged to produce an unexpected photo by our friends and here is what we came up with.