dear reproductive system...

dear reproductive system,

i understand that i am a woman of child bearing age.  however i have no plans of birthing more children.  so as much as i appreciate that you prepare a nice cozy environment for a human being to grow and then slough the whole mess out, could you limit your nesting to once a month.  i am all about putting in my time, but twice a month is a little overkill. 

thank you,

flo

i have this fancy app on my phone that tracks my cycle so i can better plan, but...there's always a but isn't there?  either it isn't very accurate or my body just does what it wants to.  i would like to be able to rely on the technology.  how convenient would that be?  hey babe, we've got two days then i'm out for the next 4-5.  it would probably help to have a babe to tell that too, but my time is coming.  no pun intended.

i suppose i should be grateful.  i usually try to look at the positive of every situation and believe it or not there is a positive here.  at least i am not late.  or worse not going to need any lady gear for the next 9+ months.  that would be positively bad.  as i stated in my letter, i have NO plans of birthing more children.

as crazy as this sounds, this isn't the first time this has happened to me.  a couple of years ago i had this same problem.  they kept coming closer and closer together and then it was constant.  doc put me on estrogen to put my "system" back on track.  that was a horrible experience.  i was an emotional roller coaster; crying, laughing, crying, laughing, angry, crying, laughing and repeat.  one month of that and i had had enough.  thankfully it was long enough to "reset" me.  really hoping i'm not headed that direction again.

fingers are crossed...

in an -ump way...

hump, frump, jump, chump, bump, lump, plump...

 

these were the words i had written on my facebook page wednesday morning.  not only did they rhyme, but all the words held some meaning to my thoughts, mood and appearance for that day.  my wonderful facebook friends added to these six words with other -ump words.

hump

i had posted these words on "hump day".  there is not a lot, a little or any in between "humps" happening in flo's world.  this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but seeing as how i am missing the component of a significant other to "hump" with it seems to be glaring at me.  a sign in neon lights right above my head for any onlooker to see.  or maybe one of those red circles with a slash through it type of sign.  yes i am lacking the after glow.

frump

if you read yesterday's post you will know that i am sporting a gut right now.  it doesn't matter how tall i stand or sit, how hard i suck it in or if i am wearing control garments that gut is still there.  this is contributing to the "frump".  i am truly the only person who would even consider my current state "frump", but i am harder on myself than anyone else will ever be.

jump

this is something i want to say to my children.  i want to tell them to "jump" and they will say "how high?".  lately they have been unwilling to participate in daily basics and it is driving me bananas.  i kind of feel like i am treading water just enough to keep my nostrils above the surface.  a little "yes ma'am" from the ratchets would be nice.

chump

probably no surprise to the reference and really doesn't need to be explained.  i wish i could lay the "chump" card, and bow out for awhile.  i would never actually do that, but it is an enticing fantasy that plays out in my head.

bump

"bump on a log" is what pops into my mind.  my two "bumps" have names that end in -ton.  they are lazy with a capital "L".  alright it is summer break, which means staying up later, sleeping in, lounging all day.  oh how i wish i was on summer break, it sounds heavenly.

lump

i almost got to see a "lump" on someone's arm the other day.  i love all that weird medical stuff, must be because both my parents were in the the medical field while i was growing up.  the human with the lump decided they didn't know me well enough to let me see the lump.  bummer!  i'm still curious about the "lump".

plump

i was sifting through pictures on my phone and came across raspberry pics.  i've got to say those raspberries from biringer farms were the largest, plumpest raspberries i have seen in a while. a few weeks ago the kids and i went to the everett farmer's market and they didn't even come close to being as plump as our jam berries were.  they were so beautiful.  i'm glad i have a picture.

 so there you go, an -ump way in a nutshell.  i suppose it doesn't really fit in a nutshell per say, but often times those common idioms make no sense at all.

i'm not a plumber...

there is a huge downside to warm weather.  it's not the fact that your beautiful green lush grass turns brown and brittle.  or that your house feels like a kiln because you are too cheap to get air conditioning.  or that you burn the back of your legs every time you get into your vehicle with the leather seats.  it is the copious amounts of flesh that are exposed everywhere you look.

i am not exempt from this, i tend to wear less clothing because it just makes sense.  however there is one article of summer clothing that i despise.  if there was a way to avoid wearing it i would, but aside from going nude i see no way around it.  this article of clothing is the swimsuit.  there are many reasons i loathe swimsuits. 

my first and probably most important reason is that you have to try them on.  i am not, have never been, and probably won't ever be a person who tries on clothes (outside of jeans) at the department store, especially a swimsuit.  first it's imperative you leave your skivvies on.  lets say you didn't plan on trying on suits when you dressed for the day and you chose to wear a boyshort.  now imagine yourself in the dressing room and you are carefully folding and tucking your skivvies under the hem of the bottoms.  it is impossible to get an accurate idea of fit.  also there is that "protective" papery strip in the crotch.  well, i'm sorry but it makes a weird noise, it feels horrible and i think how many women decided well there is a protective strip so i'm going to go commando!  nasty is what i say.  i really don't like trying on suits.

if you are a regular reader you already know my body issues, but let's just review.  i'm 5'8" in the morning and i'm all legs.  i check in with my borrowed scale every week and i seem to hover around 128-130 pounds, although right now i'm up to 134 pounds and it is pissing me off.  i know, i know pay no attention to the number, but come on, who doesn't give that number attention?  for the past several weeks i have been really bloated, i'm pretty positive that's where my extra 4-5 pounds is.  anyway, i carry my "weight" where the majority of women do through my hips, thighs and just recently my gut. sigh.  now that we have that established back to swimsuits.

there are only so many options; your traditional one piece, a menagerie of two pieces, the tankini, and a monokini (which i have never tried).  i have issues with all of these.  let's just say i feel more comfortable in my everyday bra and thong than any of the other options.  let's go through them.

traditional one piece  this can be a very flattering suit.  i actually own two of them; a solid red and a white with a floral design (this i was forced to buy because i forgot a suit on a trip and it was the only thing in my size).  i like the idea of being covered up, not showing my stomach and saving something to the imagination.  however, i feel like i can't stand up all the way, as if the suit is shrinking while i am in it.  just imagine alice in wonderland with her clothes shrinking but her body isn't.  my conservative flesh covering swimsuit has just turned me into the uber unflattering hunchback of notre dame.

the tankini in theory this should be the best of both worlds right? you can get a different size top and bottom and there is more coverage. there is one major flaw to the tankini. it's the flesh belt. the strip of flesh that is exposed between the top of the bottoms and the bottom of the top. you know that area commonly referred to as one's muffin top.  if you are me you are constantly adjusting and futzing trying to keep the two pieces together.

the bikini  this is a good option for those with different size tops and bottoms.  i am this person, but i am not sure who is supposed to wear these things.  tops seemed to be designed for an infant.  now i am not a well endowed woman, in fact my regular bra says "nearly" on it.  not even the full size, but i can't seem to keep my nonexistent, nearly-a-size breasts into a bikini top.  they seem to drift out the sides, maybe this is because there is absolutely no structure to swimwear it is meant for lounging, but lounging means laying back and well gravity has its way.  then we get to the bottoms, keep in mind this is where i carry my weight.  they are cut so small that i get a second fanny, because half of it is over the waist band exposing 2 inches of crack.  i'm not a plumber, i promise.  and that is just the back, let's move to the front of the bottoms.  they are cut so low that unless you are a hairless cat there is a little fluff showing.  let's just say you attempt to cover your business in the front well you've just exposed an extra inch of crack in the back. 

all of this and your swimsuit is dry.  let's say for shits and giggles you decide to actually get wet in your garment that is designed for water.  it grows!  men have shrinkage in cold water, well women get a size larger swimsuit that we are desperately trying to keep in place. 

in my humble opinion swimsuits suck!  there isn't anything about them that i like.  as i have mentioned i haven't found a logistical way around them, but i haven't given up.

detox water...

have you ever crapped your pants?  i can't think of a time where i have, and i'm thinking if i had i would never, ever forget it.  for instance, i was told a story the other day, the story teller will remain nameless.

in college, my friends and i used to do a lot of fishing.  one weekend we were out fishing and i was thirsty so i looked at my options; calm still lake water or rushing clear river water.  i chose the river.  well the next day i was walking to class and there was a person running towards me.  i could feel my stomach rumbling and thought how funny it would be to fart as this person ran by.  so i was holding it in for just the right moment and when he ran by i pushed out the fart but got more than i bargained for, filling my drawers up and missing my class. 

as you can imagine i was rolling laughing.  one because i would've never guessed this human had ever crapped their pants and two well crapping your pants is just plain funny.  at least i think it is funny.

over the weekend i made this detox/weight loss water.  okay i didn't make the water, but i added some ingredients to the water and let it steep overnight.  i got the recipe from pinterest, yes i am still obsessed with this site.  often times i "pin" things without looking at them first.  recipe; water, a sliced lemon, fresh mint, peeled and sliced cucumber and peeled ginger.  here's the problem the recipe is in russian, so i am not sure if i have the amount of ingredients correct or if there is a certain amount you are supposed to drink at one time, etc. 

i assembled my water, let it steep overnight and started drinking it the next day.  i can tell you within 12 hours of having two glasses of this detox/weight loss water i could feel my tummy rumbling.  there was definitely some action.  i happened to be out with duedue, we took the kids to kla-ha-ya days, a town festival.  duedue and i were sitting in her car talking while our crazy kids were playing on the playground.  during a silent moment, my stomach made this huge noise like i had just crapped my pants.  i glanced at her with a did you hear that look on my face and she was looking at me with a do we need to leave look on her face.  i quickly said that was my stomach!  we laughed like only two good friends can.  the kind of laughter where you snort, then make no noise, then look at each other and start all over again.

24 hours after i started drinking this water i have had a major "clean out".  the lettuce i had for dinner with duedue could also be contributing, but i want to place all the blame on the water. since i can't read russian maybe the detox/weight loss aspect is that you are going to need to stay close to a toilet for awhile.  i haven't jumped on my scale to see the dramatic weight loss results, but the rumbling has ceased.  phew!

you're not a winner...

mom, where are my medals?

what medals?

my medals from gymnastics.

i have no idea where her "participation" medals might be.  in all honesty i probably threw them away in an attempt to free up some clutter.  i can hear the gasps, see the looks of shock and dismay on other parents faces.  call me a horrible parent, a dream killer, an uncaring human it doesn't bother me.  i think we, as a collection of parents, are setting our children up for failure by making them all winners.

we seem to be raising a generation of kids who don't know what it is like to fail.  every kid is a winner.  not because of excellent performance, above average skills or the fact that they have put in countless hours of study and preparation.  they are winners simply for participating.  i think that is crap. 

not everyone wins.  in all situations there is a winner and a loser.  losing does not mean your skills are garbage, it just means that your opponent's skills were better.  for someone who is passionate about what they are doing, losing should be an incentive to improve upon your skills.  i ask, is there incentive to improve if your opponent gets rewarded for losing?  uh, i mean participating.

i ended up having a discussion with my daughter that the medals were just for participating.  followed with someday with hard work and diligence she might receive a medal for her skills and excellence.  although she said she understood she followed up with i just like the medal.

maybe at 10 that really is all that matters, but i'm not interested in raising kids who are satisfied with mediocre.  i want them to put in the work and be proud of their achievements.  i am finding it hard to raise them with a sense of earned accomplishment in a society that is so focused on equality.  individuals who put in the time should be recognized.  those who just show up should not.

this whole concept of rewarding everyone is part of what plays into the factor of entitlement.  we have a whole generation of humans who are under they impression that just because they are alive the deserve "x-y-z".  whatever happened to earning things? 

am i the only one who thinks this way? 


knowing my limits...

occasionally i find myself with no kids, no plans and a yearning for a beer.  this can only mean one thing i am headed to diamond knot brewery in mukilteo.  i have never really been someone who enjoys going to a bar by myself, but diamond knot is very laid back.  this is probably the only bar i am comfortable going to alone where i can belly up to the bar, chat with the staff and whomever i happen to be seated next to. 

on my last visit i ended up sitting next to a very handsome man.  we exchanged the normal small talk.  i should say that this particular bar is by a ferry dock, so there are lots of patrons that stop in for a beer before catching their ferry.  this establishment was also founded by a boeing employee, so there happens to be a lot of boeing employees who frequent.  this also means that there are plenty of contract employees that are in town on business.  needless to say it is a very eclectic group of folk that frequent diamond knot. 

okay back to the fella.  like i said he was a handsome man.  i was curious about him.  come to find out he is from east of the mountains on a business trip, he has kids, has a pear orchard and goats.  i noticed he wasn't wearing a ring so i asked about a wife.  yes i was putting him on the spot, but i was intrigued. 

he tells me he hasn't ever been married.  i have a hard time controlling my face, so i'm guessing my furrowed brow is what prompted him to keep talking.  he resides with the mother of his children but they aren't married and don't have plans of marrying.  i can respect that at this point it is really just a piece of paper.  being the nosy gal i am i ask him if he is faithful.  okay, i know it is none of my business, but he was asking me equally personal questions and i don't ever ask a question i am not willing to answer.  his response i try to be.  translation...NO. 

really?  i'm not completely naive about people straying from their committed relationships, heck i did.  i guess i haven't met people who are so open about it.  humans who openly live double lives.  it is appalling and intriguing all at that same time.  it reminds of a train wreck i can't rip myself away from it. i want to know more.  why are they in a relationship if they aren't committed to the person?  do they feel like they are setting a good example of a relationship for their children?  besides a very exciting sex life what else do they gain from this type of arrangement? 

surprisingly he was very open and candid about his lifestyle.  he then turned the tables and wanted to know if this would be something i would consider.  there is definitely a part of me that wishes i didn't need more than a romp, but that isn't me.  i told him i'm not interested in a one night stand and i would never settle for second best.  he told me i was overthinking pleasure, but i disagree.  i am not overthinking i just know my limits. 

at the end of the night we went our seperate ways.  i had a mental fantasy about what a man like him would be like, but that is as far as that will ever play out.

the credit card swipe...

over the weekend i spent some quality time with my best girlfriends.  we went to the lake house.  sounds glamorous, right?  well, the house really isn't on the lake, but you can see it.  there isn't even a weird time travel love story involving keanu reeves.  what you do get is an unplugged, eating tons of food, drinking a little bit and laughing until your sides hurt, someone pees their pants or a beverage comes out of someones nose good time.  maybe not glamorous but definitely an invitation that i don't pass up on.

i'm not sure if men do this, but when we ladies get together we talk about our significant others.  most of the ladies are married, with one being newly single and then there is me.  either i draw on stories from when i was married or i get to rehash the comedy show called "dating with flo".  let's just say i always have something to contribute.

for some reason we got on the topic of using the restroom.  i rarely shut the door.  the only time i shut the door is when i am changing my lady gear.  i shouldn't even need to explain this, but it is gross and i wish i didn't have to see it, let alone have someone watch the process.  almost every other time, in my own home, i leave the door open.  come to find out this is not normal.  all the other ladies shut the door. 

when i was married i used to purposely open the door and walk away when my partner was using the bathroom.  why?  i don't know, because it made me laugh.  i knew it bugged him.  i wanted to see how long he would sit there and do nothing or if he would figure it out and just go.  clearly it was for my own amusement.  he would get so irritated with me.

having the bathroom habits conversation made me think of something else i used to do.  i am a bar soap kind of girl.  i have issues with liquid soap.  i put the soap on my poof, get it all sudsy, then start to wash.  at least fifty percent of the time when i go to wash my arms soap suds fly off the poof and into my eye!  yes my eye!  in case this hasn't happened to you, it hurts real bad.  no wonder they make tear free soap for kids.  for my own safety i choose bar soap. 

on occasion my ex and i would shower together.  not very often, because really if you are in the shower to actually get clean it sucks.  it sounds like a very romantic bonding experience but hollywood has conveniently edited the parts that you only find out in reality.  for instance, one person is always out of the water freezing while the other is using the water.  

so here we go let's set the scene...i have already been in the water, i'm now standing in the back of the shower soaping up with my bar soap.  mischievous, kind of a pest me, thinks hmmm, what will happen if i do this?  i take my bar of soap and swipe it down his butt crack.  well as you can imagine there is instant clenching and a yelp, followed by WTF??  i, of course, am laughing hysterically. 

this obviously left me open for paybacks, which i welcomed.  relationships can get stagnant and complacent, i might be a little impish in my antics to keep my partner on their toes, but isn't playfulness what keeps the relationship fresh?  i'm not recommending that everyone should do this, but you might want to keep it in your bag of tricks when you are taking that dual shower and standing in the back freezing.

my mom confession...

there are things that mothers aren't supposed to think.  things we definitely aren't supposed to say.  it is taboo, forbidden and controversial.  but as most of you know, i tend to speak my mind, or at least share it through written word.  so here you go.  there are times when i don't want to be a mother.  there i said it.

being a parent means you are on at all times.  you have to be conscious of what you say, what you don't say, what you wear, what you eat, how you conduct yourself in general.  why?  well because those little sponges are watching every move you make and mimicking you.  in addition you have to discipline, guide and pass on knowledge in hopes that they absorb all the important lessons you are attempting to teach them.  are you exhausted?  wait there is more...

if you have more than one child, like i do, then your work is twofold.  you are now a referee of endless and pointless arguments; my imaginary friend swaffer likes jelly beans. no he doesn't. yes he does. no he doesn't. yes he does.  MOOOM!!.  if you have children of different genders your house is overrun with ridiculous gender specific crap; army men, dolls, sports gear galore, nail polish, nerf anything.  you have to remember twice as many things; johnny prefers peanut butter only with no crusts.  jannie likes peanut butter and honey but only cut on the diagonal.  are you catching my drift?  it's exhausting.

not only am i mom, but i am a single mom who would prefer to be in a relationship. this dilemma adds extra flavor to the mix. now i have to worry about how this person will or will not fit in to my life. would this fella be a good role model? will he like my kids? i am not the mom who introduces every tom, dick and harry to my kids, which limits my time immensely. 

can you blame me for wanting to bail out on my mom duties?  don't get me wrong i love my children more than anything in this whole world.  i would do anything to protect them.  i bend over backwards to ensure their happiness and security.  however, if there has ever been a mom who needs her calgon moment it is me.  to all the other moms.  i don't think i work harder than the rest of you.  i don't think my situation is better or worse than yours.  i'm just throwing my mommy tantrum. 

so yes there are times when i wish i wasn't already a mom.  i wouldn't have the unnecessary drama that is created by my ex.  i could start fresh, fall in love and have all those dreamy, mushy-gushy pictures i see all over facebook and pinterest.  i would have more time to do the things that i want to do for me.  but if i wasn't a mom already then i wouldn't have my kids, the kids i have right now.  my kids who inspire me everyday.  who teach me new ways of looking at our world and myself.  i wouldn't have those small arms wrapped around my waist for a random hug or a small hand slipped into mine in the parking lot just because.  do i really want to give that up?  no way.  like i said above i'm just throwing my mommy tantrum.

i hear you...

we shouldn't try to minimize someones trials when they seem

inconsequential to our own

for we cannot comprehend the impact

those trials are having on their livelihood

i was just reminded of the opening passage the other day, the boss man said, "i've gone from working on a case that would've changed the client's life forever to this." i opened my mouth to reply and ended up walking away saying nothing. i realized that he wasn't trying to minimize the current client's situation it just wasn't as exciting and/or grueling of legal work to do.

i am not a one-upper. you know those people when you say "i've had a hard day" and their response is "well you wouldn't believe the day i've had". as if to say whatever your problems are they will never be as bad as mine. i am not that person.

i think it takes a ton of courage to be vulnerable and share yourself with others. if you do not take the opportunity to listen and make them feel safe they may not choose to share with you again. i am always so honored when someone shares their stories with me. when someone trusts me enough to lay down their armor of defenses and is authentic. i can't even explain how full that makes my heart. 

several months ago i was supposed to meet a friend for dinner. i don't often blow things off, but this particular day i was really struggling. i wasn't able to muster the strength to pick myself up off the couch, put on my happy face and go to dinner. when i attempted to explain my situation i was assaulted with a whole list of reasons why my day wasn't as bad as theirs. i ended up telling my friend that i was hanging up and felt worse than before the phone call.

this is an example of minimizing someone elses trials. my friend's situation was way worse than mine. i was by no means discounting that fact. what i wanted was to have five minutes where it was all about me. for at that moment my problems were cementing me. i needed that opportunity to be heard. without being outdone.

i think we as humans desire to be heard.  not necessarily guided but heard. so when someone trusts you enough to share their heart and soul, take the moment to really hear them.

silk or linen...

if you are traditionalist and follow what you should give your spouse on your anniversary than you would know that twelve years is celebrated with a gift of silk or linen.  well, i didn't receive either of these.  not super surprising i am divorced.  however if i was still married this past month would've marked our twelfth year of marital bliss. 

sometimes i wonder what if?  what if we had figured things out and stayed married?  where would we be?  what would we be doing?  would we have celebrated the day?  this really is a miserable trap.  i hate what ifs.  the what if game is destructive and really serves no purpose other than to drive me bananas.

i don't only do this with my ex husband.  i play the what if game with other encounters that i think could've been successful if only this or that.  i received an unexpected text today reminding of a different time.  it brought a smile to my face.  but not long after i started to think, what if i had done things differently, would the outcome have been different?  who knows and that's what i mean the what if game is destructive.

the what if isn't specific to relationships either, i often times wonder what if i had stayed in college instead of dropping out?  i never really knew what i wanted to do, i was so young.  actually i have no idea what i would do now, guess i am not driven in that department.  i wonder if i would've abandoned a career after having children?  i think about this because life has been a struggle since venturing out on my own and i am positive it would be easier if i had listened to my parents and made sure i had something to fall back on.

despite the fact that i land in a pile of what ifs all the time, i really don't want to spend time here.  it is an enticing place like resting on a big white fluffy cloud, but it quickly turns to dark grey tumultuous clouds.  i suppose if my what ifs were daydreams for the future instead of dwellings on my past that fluffy cloud would remain fluffy. 

no beer left behind...

Due: Wanna go on a brewery tour?

Me: Uh, yeah!!

Due: Great i will get the tickets.

this is how our brewery tour girls night out started.  a simple text message months ago. 

being a mom of two great kids and very little time does not really allow for a day out in seattle, but for a beer tour i will find a way.  i got to share this journey with two great ladies who are also beer lovers, due and schaff.  obviously i didn't get the memo that i was supposed to wear black.

we started our afternoon with martinis.  martinis?  huh?  i am not a huge mixed drink fanbut hey why not, it's all about the adventure.  we went to oliver's lounge in the mayflower hotel.  i got their signature martini, paradigm shift .  i think it is a good idea when you aren't very knowledgeable about something, in this instance martinis, to go with what the establishment is known for.  i wasn't too crazy about it, but that's okay we had an evening of beer coming up.

we tooled around the city center for a while; taking our picture with statues, watching street performers, doing a little shopping or browsing since i wasn't really shopping.  schaff almost broke her ankle walking in a ridiculously high pair of heels with no heel.  being the extremely supportive friends we are, due and i laughed our sides out as she stumbled out of sight down a shoe aisle.  schaff also invited us to an impromptu scavenger hunt...can you help me find my black sweater that fell off somewhere inside this department store?  to think that we had already had so much excitement; scavenger hunts, runway shows, and street performers and we hadn't even been on our tour yet. 

brewery tour.  meet here.  you will picked up by van or camel.  i was secretly hoping for a camel, but i don't recall ever seeing a caravan of camels in seattle.  three breweries in three hours.  all the beer is supplied.  you get a tshirt and a mug.  sweet!   our group included; a father son duo, a husband and wife, a group of three beer loving dudes, us and our guide/owner dustin. 

we took the first bench in the van and instantly started problems.  apparently i have no clue how to operate any other seatbelt besides the one in my own vehicle.  after two attempts i gave up and just accepted that i was going to be suctioned to my seat due to a locked seatbelt.  this meant with every bump, start and stop my belt tightened more and more.  hey at least i was safe.  i wasn't the only one, due somehow lost the plug for her belt in a never ending black hole.  it took dustin awhile to fish the end out and of course we ladies were giggling incessantly the whole time. 

first stop...fremont brewing company.  when you walk in there is a multitude of tanks (for brewing no less), random tables, lots of chairs, and this tiny bar.  the walls were painted this vibrant blue, i loved it so happy and cheery.  at the fremont brewing company we got to try three beers.  i picked the brown, their signature beer an ipa, and the stout.  i love a dark beer and the brown was my favorite, but it wasn't fremont's own brew it was a guest tap. 

next stop...hales ales.  here we tried several beers.  the first three were on nitro; cream ale, HSB, and the porter.  of these three the HSB was my favorite although i am not a huge fan of nitro beers.  then we had the el jefe, red menace, and super goose IPA.  if my memory serves me correctly i liked the el jefe probably because i enjoyed saying it.  our final beer here was the kolsch german ale, we sampled this on tap and on cask.  i liked the tap better than the cask, but that's because i like the bubbles. 

final stop...hilliards.  this is a fairly new brewery that is making craft beers but bottling it in cans.  this is going to sound bad, but i am pretty sure we sampled four different beers here, but i honestly only remember two.  i missed the intro to this brewery because i was in the ladies room.  i also spent some time mingling with the table next to us, they had pizza. 

were you keeping track of how many beers we sampled?  3 + 8 + 4.  yes that's correct fifteen different beers from three different breweries.  when we first got into the van dustin said there is one rule, "no beer left behind".  i must say it's a good thing we had some burly men to help us waif like ladies out.  one of those burly men came in handy when i got stuck in the men's room.  the ladies was full and i was in desperation mode, so i opened the men's room and called out anyone in here?  when i got no reply i quickly went to a locking stall and emptied my bladder.  the problem fellas kept coming in and i was not about to exit my stall to a room full of men using the urinals.  i text the girls, they sent in burly man to clear the men's room so i could get out.  funny the bonds you create with complete strangers on a brewery tour.

well another memory for the record books.  if you are looking for a fun night out with the ladies or  gents, are a beer conniseur and love a good van (not camel) ride this is the tour for you.  cheers

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