mom, where are my medals?
what medals?
my medals from gymnastics.
i have no idea where her "participation" medals might be. in all honesty i probably threw them away in an attempt to free up some clutter. i can hear the gasps, see the looks of shock and dismay on other parents faces. call me a horrible parent, a dream killer, an uncaring human it doesn't bother me. i think we, as a collection of parents, are setting our children up for failure by making them all winners.
we seem to be raising a generation of kids who don't know what it is like to fail. every kid is a winner. not because of excellent performance, above average skills or the fact that they have put in countless hours of study and preparation. they are winners simply for participating. i think that is crap.
not everyone wins. in all situations there is a winner and a loser. losing does not mean your skills are garbage, it just means that your opponent's skills were better. for someone who is passionate about what they are doing, losing should be an incentive to improve upon your skills. i ask, is there incentive to improve if your opponent gets rewarded for losing? uh, i mean participating.
i ended up having a discussion with my daughter that the medals were just for participating. followed with someday with hard work and diligence she might receive a medal for her skills and excellence. although she said she understood she followed up with i just like the medal.
maybe at 10 that really is all that matters, but i'm not interested in raising kids who are satisfied with mediocre. i want them to put in the work and be proud of their achievements. i am finding it hard to raise them with a sense of earned accomplishment in a society that is so focused on equality. individuals who put in the time should be recognized. those who just show up should not.
this whole concept of rewarding everyone is part of what plays into the factor of entitlement. we have a whole generation of humans who are under they impression that just because they are alive the deserve "x-y-z". whatever happened to earning things?
am i the only one who thinks this way?
4 comments:
I don't recall receiving medals or trophies when I played sports as a young boy for merely participating. Just the opposite. I recall playing in a baseball league where awards were given out at the end of the year and all players from each team were expected to attend. Our team did not do well that year so I sat there for two hours, pissed off that I had not won anything. But sitting there drove me to practice so I wouldn't sit there the next year without winning anything.
i don't either brett. i had a similar experience to what you describe, attending awards ceremonies for those players/teams that performed the best or just a "thanks for playing. see you next year" from the coach.
I would be the father to ask why should we have awards anyway? Why can't we strive for excellence without the need for recognition? I've taught my son that the reward shouldn't be winning or losing, but more of the journey reaching and achieving your goals. I believe competitive endeavors might benefit from removing the win or lose/get awards aspect. I wonder how the NFL would change if they never took score or declared a winner? I think it would still be great entertainment to watch. They could tell the audience "Keep your own damn score"
Then again I could just be talking out my rear. Lol
@network29. hi and thank you for the input. i think we are conditioned to have awards, they are expected. i think we have gone overboard with inflating our youth's heads that everyone is a winner and no one is a loser. failure isn't a horrible thing. i'm not sure that "fans" are ready for the NFL with no score or declared winner, but it would be interesting.
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