Monday, July 16, 2012

the credit card swipe...

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over the weekend i spent some quality time with my best girlfriends.  we went to the lake house.  sounds glamorous, right?  well, the house really isn't on the lake, but you can see it.  there isn't even a weird time travel love story involving keanu reeves.  what you do get is an unplugged, eating tons of food, drinking a little bit and laughing until your sides hurt, someone pees their pants or a beverage comes out of someones nose good time.  maybe not glamorous but definitely an invitation that i don't pass up on.

i'm not sure if men do this, but when we ladies get together we talk about our significant others.  most of the ladies are married, with one being newly single and then there is me.  either i draw on stories from when i was married or i get to rehash the comedy show called "dating with flo".  let's just say i always have something to contribute.

for some reason we got on the topic of using the restroom.  i rarely shut the door.  the only time i shut the door is when i am changing my lady gear.  i shouldn't even need to explain this, but it is gross and i wish i didn't have to see it, let alone have someone watch the process.  almost every other time, in my own home, i leave the door open.  come to find out this is not normal.  all the other ladies shut the door. 

when i was married i used to purposely open the door and walk away when my partner was using the bathroom.  why?  i don't know, because it made me laugh.  i knew it bugged him.  i wanted to see how long he would sit there and do nothing or if he would figure it out and just go.  clearly it was for my own amusement.  he would get so irritated with me.

having the bathroom habits conversation made me think of something else i used to do.  i am a bar soap kind of girl.  i have issues with liquid soap.  i put the soap on my poof, get it all sudsy, then start to wash.  at least fifty percent of the time when i go to wash my arms soap suds fly off the poof and into my eye!  yes my eye!  in case this hasn't happened to you, it hurts real bad.  no wonder they make tear free soap for kids.  for my own safety i choose bar soap. 

on occasion my ex and i would shower together.  not very often, because really if you are in the shower to actually get clean it sucks.  it sounds like a very romantic bonding experience but hollywood has conveniently edited the parts that you only find out in reality.  for instance, one person is always out of the water freezing while the other is using the water.  

so here we go let's set the scene...i have already been in the water, i'm now standing in the back of the shower soaping up with my bar soap.  mischievous, kind of a pest me, thinks hmmm, what will happen if i do this?  i take my bar of soap and swipe it down his butt crack.  well as you can imagine there is instant clenching and a yelp, followed by WTF??  i, of course, am laughing hysterically. 

this obviously left me open for paybacks, which i welcomed.  relationships can get stagnant and complacent, i might be a little impish in my antics to keep my partner on their toes, but isn't playfulness what keeps the relationship fresh?  i'm not recommending that everyone should do this, but you might want to keep it in your bag of tricks when you are taking that dual shower and standing in the back freezing.

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