i hear you...

we shouldn't try to minimize someones trials when they seem

inconsequential to our own

for we cannot comprehend the impact

those trials are having on their livelihood

i was just reminded of the opening passage the other day, the boss man said, "i've gone from working on a case that would've changed the client's life forever to this." i opened my mouth to reply and ended up walking away saying nothing. i realized that he wasn't trying to minimize the current client's situation it just wasn't as exciting and/or grueling of legal work to do.

i am not a one-upper. you know those people when you say "i've had a hard day" and their response is "well you wouldn't believe the day i've had". as if to say whatever your problems are they will never be as bad as mine. i am not that person.

i think it takes a ton of courage to be vulnerable and share yourself with others. if you do not take the opportunity to listen and make them feel safe they may not choose to share with you again. i am always so honored when someone shares their stories with me. when someone trusts me enough to lay down their armor of defenses and is authentic. i can't even explain how full that makes my heart. 

several months ago i was supposed to meet a friend for dinner. i don't often blow things off, but this particular day i was really struggling. i wasn't able to muster the strength to pick myself up off the couch, put on my happy face and go to dinner. when i attempted to explain my situation i was assaulted with a whole list of reasons why my day wasn't as bad as theirs. i ended up telling my friend that i was hanging up and felt worse than before the phone call.

this is an example of minimizing someone elses trials. my friend's situation was way worse than mine. i was by no means discounting that fact. what i wanted was to have five minutes where it was all about me. for at that moment my problems were cementing me. i needed that opportunity to be heard. without being outdone.

i think we as humans desire to be heard.  not necessarily guided but heard. so when someone trusts you enough to share their heart and soul, take the moment to really hear them.