snow tracks....

it is criminal to disturb the beauty of fresh fallen snow.  everything is clean, pure, pristine, the edges are soft and muted.  the landscape gently rises and falls reminding me of an old nude portrait where the woman is lounging on a chaise and you can follow the dip of her waist up over the rise of her hips.  the vegetation is heavy, seeming to struggle to hold their branches proud and strong.  how long will they stay steady before they break or bend enough to release their load and regain their regal stance?  is there a secret competition between the young and mature?

crunch, crunch, crunch.  my boots make the first tracks in this serene world.  it is dark, quiet and calm.  there is no sound except for the whisper of a snowflake that crosses my path.  i try to minimize my imprint on this pristine land.  i walk down the center or the road placing my feet gingerly on the surface.  with each sinking step my boots grow heavier making it difficult to pick them back up.

so i stop. stop in the center of a road that seems unfamiliar and absorb the beauty surrounding me.  tender wet kisses skim my face before melding into my skin becoming part of me.  a foreign cool, crisp, clean air aches in my lungs.  i quietly turn to take look at my path.  a singular path.  i am alone.

i want to drop to my knees and weep. weep for the pain.  the pain of my children, the pain of my family, friends, strangers and myself.  maybe if i shed all the pain it will melt away with the morning sun and all will be right again.  we will be left with peace.

the sky is brightening.  dawn is approaching.  with the dawn will come the wakening of all of God's creatures.  the peaceful serenity will be destroyed.


i wish i could say that this was my snow experience over the past few days, but it isn't.  several years ago, in another house, in a different life, i used to get up at 5am and go meet my neighbor for a walk around the block.  one morning when i got up, there was new snow and i was the only one up at that point.  there were no other tracks anywhere.  it was absolutely gorgeous and almost sureal to think that i was the only one who was going to have this experience on that street at that moment in time.  my walking partner and i were very quiet that morning.  ususally our walks were full of chatter, but this morning we just walked.  such an awesome experience.  seeing the snow the past couple of days reminded me of this morning walk.