face value....

there is a huge disadvantage to "taking people at face value"...sometimes they aren't who they say they are.  for some reason this always surprises me.  i guess i come from the belief that there are more good, honest, well intentioned people than not.  isn't that how we should view all people?  if we are are always looking for the wrong and negative in people how do we ever trust or love?  so i choose, yes i think this is a choice, to believe in other humans. 

i also try to connect with every person that i come in contact with, regardless of their social status or their appearance.  i have come to find that some people who i would never have thought could bring something valuable or worth while to my life end up having an impact on me.  sometimes it is just the fact that they listen, or offer a word of wisdom, or they introduce me to a new opportunity that i would've never had a chance to experience.  humans are fascinating creatures, every one of us has value and purpose on this planet.

many of you will not agree with me here, but i do think that every human being here on this planet, even the ones that we (society) has deemed bad, has something to offer.  sometimes it is hard to find value in humans that have committed atrocious acts of violence against other humans, but these people fascinate me.  i'm not saying that i would like to spend tons of time with someone like this, or that they should get some sort of "free pass" because somewhere in their twisted world they have something to offer, but i do think that somewhere in them there is good.  they fascinate me because i wonder where, what, why, how and when that twisted side took over?

so back to "taking people at face value".  just for the record i am not drawing on some recent occurence where someone wronged me, this topic came up last week with my boss.  he had asked me something, don't really remember what, but ended up saying, "you are very trustworthy of people." "i am, i don't have a reason to distrust someone from the get go."  there was some more discussion that ended with him saying, "i wish i had a tape recorder, so when you date some a-hole, i can play this back for you."  i chuckled at him and reminded him that i am very selective of who i bring into my life. 

i guess this is how i view people, i will trust what you have to say and who you present yourself to be, until or unless you show me something different.  if your stories never make sense, or your actions and words are miles apart from each other then i will take note and maybe question you a little more, but that doesn't mean i am going to write you off as a liar.  

i have tried many, many times to understand why people do what they do. inevitably i end up dumbfounded, frustrated and sometimes irritated.  i think that people do what they need to do for them first without worrying or caring how it will impact others.  the impact on others is an after thought.  you know what i mean?  when you spout off at someone because you feel like you are being treated unfairly.  or when you go with what feels good without looking at the whole picture or the consequences of what that may bring.  i am guilty of these things, we probably all are guilty of these things.  i am not in any way saying this is a good or bad thing, i just think this is how the majority of humans go about their lives.

i guess i should get to why i think this a disadvantage...well it's simple you set yourself up to get hurt.  not necessarily physically (thankfully this hasn't ever happened to me), but emotionally you leave yourself open and vulnerable.  there is a side of this, being open and vulnerable, that isn't bad....other humans that you encounter get to see exactly who you are the charming and less than favorable, you put it all out there and hope for the best.  the not so good side of this is that you sometimes get taken advantage of, you may put yourself in a position that a more suspicious, less trusting person would.

so where does this leave me?  do i continue with trusting others because it is how i want to be treated?  or do i proceed through life with a little more caution, be a little more suspicious?  since i am not so good at being suspicious (and even when i am i never say anything about it), i will continue trusting.  i tell my kids all the time "treat each other the way you want to be treated", maybe someday it will sink in, but for now they are typical siblings that do everything in their power to annoy each other.  my point is, is that when you put out what you want back it will happen.  not everytime, and maybe not the majority of the time, but i just keep believing.