have you ever met a person who tells you so many negative things about themselves that you simply don't believe them? that the magnitude of what they are saying convinces you that it is a ruse? that if you took two minutes, well maybe two hours, to ask some specific questions and maybe some not so specific questions you would form a different opinion about them?
i am guessing we have all met a person like this. heck, i am this person. i have a pretty hard time talking myself up. i tend to tell you a whole lot of negatives and if you happen to still be sitting there when i'm done talking well i might give you something else. for instance if you were to say tell me about yourself...my typical response goes something like this. i am a po' divoced woman, with two kids, a complicated exhusband, and i live in a shit hole. all of that says "sign me up" right? not!
it isn't false, but i could word it different so that it doesn't sound so depressing. maybe something along the lines of this i am single mom who lives within my means. seems a little flat. hmmm...okay take two. i am a single mom, i'm employed, and have my own place to live. really nobody needs to know how crazy my past life is.
no too long ago i was introduced to someone who simply said i'm a piece of sh*&, you don't want to get to know me. wow. i can't say i have ever been that harsh about myself, but curious me wanted to know why this person would think this way about themselves. my business owns me and when i'm not working i have my kids. not sure i would qualify that as p.o.s., but we all have our own views of ourselves.
turns out, after some specific and not so specific questions, this person is far from a p.o.s., just busy with life and realistic about time. kind of admirable. kind of sad. from my brief encounter with this human i could tell that this person has a lot to share with others, but doesn't have the time to do so.
i read something not too long ago that said don't talk bad about your husband to anyone. it was an interesting thought so i read further. it went on to say that the people in your life don't know your spouse the way you do, when we choose to vent our frustrations about them this is the picture our friends/family are left with. instead of painting your spouse in the ugly choose to build him/her up, for this is who you love and this is who you should be sharing.
i am thinking the same thing can be said for ourselves. if we want our peers to see us as successful, happy, ready to conquer the world humans then that is how we should portray and speak of ourselves. sure a funny quip every now and then is good, but it shouldn't be our go to.
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