perspective...

 

10/6/2009

it is another day.  i have been really, really depressed.  i hate who i am right now.  i yell at my kids, i cry all the time, i can't sleep, i'm absolutely exhausted.  i am so deep in the hole of despair i just don't see how to get out of it.  i wish something would present itself and help me moev forward.  help me find a happy place.  help me! i am so sick and tired of feeling this way.  i want to make up mind to get over it and move forward.  but how? i suppose i could start with what i am thankful for and happy about.  for some reason that is really hard to do.  i don't feel thankful or happy.

i was cleaning out my desk today at work.  not because it's time to vacate, just because i get into moods where i can't stand the clutter.  today is one of those days.  i came across this notepad.  scribbled inside filling all the pages was my handwriting.  i stopped the cleaning out process to read some of it. 

man, reading my own words is tough.  i instantly went back in time.  felt these strong emotions all over again.  it is interesting to have some perspective as to where is was and where i am at.  so much has changed in the last three years. 

 

i have this as my screen saver on my phone.  sometimes i need reminders.