hot and bothered...

steamy

hot

bubbles

booze

slippery

nudity

sounds pretty provocative

i ran the st. patty's day dash in seattle this weekend.  i went unwillingly.  i actually cheated.  i hadn't registered, i threw on last years tshirt and number.  i really didn't want to do it, but my girlfriends dragged my reluctant ass to the race.  i loved it.  i was completely unprepared, hell i didn't even register, but for me running a race with my girlfriends has absolutely nothing to do with my time.  it is an opportunity to create a memory with my friends. 

here i am post race and i am a hurting unit.  every part of my body from the waist down is sore.  underneath my protective layer, from the frigid cold weather we are having, of fat there are small undefined muscles that are protesting being used for anything besides an occasional walk.  the more time that goes by the more my muscles are punishing me.  at this point in time i think my muscles could out tighten any boa constrictor.  it's like having a continual muscle cramp.  lord almighty.  to soothe my aching angry muscles i decided to take a bath. 

aah, there is the connection to all those adjectives listed above.  you thought i was watching porn again didn't you?  porn really isn't my thing.  i am a single gal who has to get the job done by myself.  why in the world would i want to watch other people enjoying someone else?  talk about a slap in the face. 

anyway, back to the bath.  i like my bath super hot, you know the kind of hot where your skin turns lobster red?  i also like lots of bubbles.  besides the fact that bubbles are fun and smell nice, i hate being naked so not being able to see myself works.  i also like an ice cold beer.  having an ice cold beer in a super hot bath reminds of summer.  there really isn't too many things better than ice cold beer on a super hot sunny day, so i try to recreate that in the dead of winter in my tub.  i also read in my tub.  this can be kind of tricky, wet pages are lame and uncooperative, but over the years i have learned how to sit just right so my pages don't get wet and i am cozy.

here's the problem i have with the bath, it is the most unglamorous and kind of gross relaxing activity i can think of.  just bare with me i will explain.  you've seen pretty woman right?  well  julia roberts is sitting in this amazing bath tub with more bubbles than i have ever been able to create.  her hair is piled loosely on her head in soft curls and frames her face in a super sexy way.  her skin is flawless.  it is the epitome of a bathtub scene.  perfection to the max.  isn't this how all of us ladies imagine we look like in the tub?

well, shit i don't look anything like that.  my hair is piled up on my head, but what everyday gal spends time fixing their hair to take a bath?  instead of super sexy quaffed hair i have a lumpy bumpy weird pony that is pulled back so tight i look like i've just had a face lift.  my water is so freaking hot i am sweating like a pig on a hundred degree day.  since i am sweating like a crazy person, my make up is running down my face and i have that just got dumped mascara running half way down my cheeks look.  yeah this is a hot look.  sigh 

besides the way i look, i always feel the need to shower after taking a bath.  if you think about it, you are soaking in your own filthy water.  eww!!  now i shower everyday, so i am not really that dirty but still.  you have all the soap, from the bubbles, on your skin and any residual soap and dirt that may have already been in the tub.  my relaxing soak in the tub has turned into a two step process, soak and then shower.  oy, it shouldn't be this complicated.

well, the bath was really relaxing and hot.  my beer was ice cold and refreshing.  my shower after was cold because i used my hot water to soak.  my muscles are continuing their boa constrictor impersonation, but overall my world is perfect.