my morning started off really, really nice. i went to a friend's house for coffee, sat out on the porch, enjoyed some thought provoking conversation all while basking in the sun. seriously it was dreamy. being at this house brought up memories of my old house. i really did love my old house and i must admit that i am missing it tonight. not only am i missing my house but i am missing the fantasy that i wanted to come with it. you know the happily ever after fantasy?
instead i am sitting in my bed in my freezing cold room with my fleece pants and hoodie. i have my cat laying next to me in the most inconvenient place, but i can feel his heartbeat and his presence reminds me that i am not alone. my mind is racing. i am getting sucked into that vortex that i think a lot of single folks get sucked into how long am i going to be doing the single gig? i really don't like that my mind takes over, but i can't seem to distract it.
when my kids can't sleep i tell them to think of happy things and just keep trying. what a bunch of horse crap that doesn't really work. i should really rethink my advice to the kids. my happy things entail my fantasy life where everything is peaches and cream. spending time in fantasy land makes my reality seem much worse than it really is. just keep trying...well i have been for the last several hours, it just isn't working.
eventually my overactive brain will take a break, my eyelids will not be able to stay open and i will not remember falling asleep. i will wake in the morning, start my daily routine and continue on with life. for some reason the lyrics
put one foot in front of the other
and soon you'll be walking cross the floor
put one foot in front of the other
and soon you'll be walking out the door
are playing in my head. maybe this is what i will fall asleep repeating in my brain? i suppose this is better than some other options.
good night. hope you are sleeping well.
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