cut the cord...

i am quickly approaching a time in my daughter's life that is making me super uncomfortable.  i am not a helicopter parent, you know those parents who hover over their children day in and day out to make sure they ward off any dangers or unsavory temptations and steer them down the path of virtue and honor.  yeah that is not me.   i am more of the trial by error parent, learn from your mistakes while i am loudly explaining why that doesn't work.  i am also not the parent that wants my children to stay little forever, but maybe just a little bit longer would be nice.

with every passing day the time my daughter wants to spend with me wanes. she has started this thing when we get home from school where she goes directly to her room, does her homework and does not emerge until i call her down for dinner.  i have told her several times how much i dislike this, but she replies mom, i need some me time after school.   we discussed this again yesterday and i am beginning to think that this is my issue.  she needs her time without her mom, some independence to do her stuff without me asking her one hundred million questions.  i hate it.  have i mentioned how much i hate it?  well i hate it.

i liked when she came home, gave me a hug, sat at the table with her homework, asked me for help and then told me i had no idea what i was talking about only to get upset and leave the room in a huff.  oh my gosh i can't believe i just admitted how much i miss that, but i do.  well i don't miss the eye roll and exasperation that exudes from her, but i miss her presence. 

i do have to say she is being productive during her me time.  getting her homework done, cleaning her room, making her bed, painting her nails for the twentieth time that week, or reading.  i have no complaints on how she is using her me time, i simply want to be a part of it.

is it really time to cut the cord and let her spread her wings? can't i force her to sit at the table with me and do homework? i will let her have her space after dinner, i promise.  this is for sure a hard transition, for me, but as with everything else i am sure i will adjust with some time and we will learn a new routine that allows for me  time and us time.