maybe there is something to this dazzling thing after all. i have to back up a bit so that you get the full story and that it makes sense.
so as you know i am divorced. i think i have made that pretty clear. we have a pretty typical visitation schedule; one overnight during the week and every other weekend. however on the weekends with their dad the kids come home monday morning before school. the transition day always seems to be the hardest. i recognize that it is hard for me to switch hats sometimes, so i can only imagine how difficult it is for my kids to switch hats with their limited life experience.
monday morning, between 7:30 and 8:00 a.m. i've made breakfast and am working on picking up the dishes. at the table world war three is breaking out in the form of insults, complaints, whining, yelling and complete chaos. i am thinking to myself this is not how one should eat their breakfast, they are not being kind to each other, what the heck?
you guys need jesus!
complete silence. jaws drop to the table. utensils are held in mid-air. i have two sets of eyes glued to me wondering and waiting for the next words that will come out of my mouth. i gently pull out the chair at the head of the table and sit. i calmly ask my kids some questions:
Mom: are you two treating each other the way you want to be treated?
Kids: no
Mom: do you think that God would like how you are behaving?
Kids: no
Mom: do you think that God is watcing you now?
Kids: yes
Mom: well maybe you should think about that.
i walked away from the table without another word and continued getting myself ready for work. the kids were very nice to each other rest of the morning. there was no arguments, no sassing, no whining.
Mom: 1
Kids: 0
i realize that this will only work a couple more times before the shock value wears off, but i've got to tell you that i was very pleased.
in all seriousness, there is something to this dazzling thing. i get that i am poking fun at the whole concept, and i've made some not-so-nice comments regarding the authors, but i do find myself interacting with my kids a little differently.
i still have my beef with the book. i think the idea is good and there are a lot of things that i agree with, but the manner in which i am supposed to be delivering the message to my kids is completely crazy town. i just don't have that in me. i was discussing the book with another parent and she had written in the margin this is exhausting. we were talking about how the dialogue the authors give you is just too much and that we wished it was simplified. in my head i pictured a yellow manual with black caution tape that says Give them Grace: For Dummies.
as the group was throwing out different scenarios and how they handled them a very important point was made. you can be giving your children grace without having to reference God. aha! this is good news for me. as i have said before i think that i teach my kids God's law but that i don't use the verbage that you would find in the bible. in order for me to spread the gospel with my children in a "teaching moment" would require me to hit the pause button, call beth and ask her what to say, come back to my kids, press play and then continue. as you can see this is not a reasonable scenario, i just don't live in the movie "Click" with Adam Sandler.
as we get farther in the book we are being exposed to a plan on how to incorporate the gospel and when it is a time to just discipline. i think we all agreed that we would prefer that the book was more black and white, but that just isn't life. life is gray, not one shade of gray but an ombre of gray.
so the dazzling continues. my kids will probably always be obnoxious ratchets at times. they will always make choices that require a healthy dose of full on law. i am doing my best to add some more grace, this is kind of tough for me i like order. i will probably continue to poke fun and warn my kids prepared to be dazzled, but i know, my kids, and yes God knows that i infuse my day with humor, laughter and sarcasm because it is me.
No comments:
Post a Comment