i am a routine girl. every weekday morning i do the exact same thing. my alarm goes off at 6am at that exact same time my coffee pot starts brewing (i love the delay setting). i hit snooze at least twice while i am waiting for the coffee to be done. i turn on my reading light, turn off my alarm, step out of bed into my slippers and put on my robe. first stop is the ladies room. then feed oscar my cat, he has bugging me since the alarm went off because he knows it is breakfast time. next, to the kitchen, pour my first cup of coffee and return to my bed. for the next 45 minutes i sit all cozied up with my coffee and covers and get caught up for the day. at exactly 7 o'clock i shut down my computer and head upstairs to shower. after showering i go wake up my cherubs, i love that they are still sleeping and i get to wake them with a kiss and an i love you. when i make it downstairs i check my phone, there is always a text, "have a great day. i will be thinking of you." i have really come accustomed to this text and count on it being there. until 8 o'clock i am getting myself ready for work. at 8 o'clock i get the kids finished up for school; make lunches, get back packs together, gather any extras that they may need. by 8:20 we are out the door.
this happens every morning. even on the mornings that i don't have my kids. when 8 o'clock rolls around i have NO idea what to do with myself. i don't have to get the kids ready, there isn't enough time to start and finish anything. i end up leaving my house and head off to work an hour before i have to be there. ugh! today i showed up at 8:30 and my co-workers both looked at me with a perplexed face why are you here? i have no explanation other than i don't know what else to do.
i wasn't as much of a routine person until i had kids. i used to be much more flexible and spontaneous. everything i have ever read about child rearing stressed consistency, predictability, routines. well i tend to take in all the information (regardless of what the situation, challenge, dilemma is) and figure out how to make it work for me. i have turned into this completely predictable person, as far as how i live day to day.
i seem to function well knowing what is coming; my coffee pot will start brewing at 6am, i will get a thoughtful text at 7am, i start work at 9am, my kids get out of school at 3:35pm, we have dinner at 5pm, bedtime is at 8pm. i am however craving something unexpected, adventure, something that pushes me outside of my comfort zone, living!! don't get me wrong, i still need all of this routine stuff it brings me a sense of peace, predictability and comfort.
i wonder if there is a way to have both; the security and comfort from predictable routines coupled with the thrill of spontaneity? i don't think that i could ever fully embrace being a free spirit or a wanderer. as dream like and boundary-less as a bubble floating through the air is, i need boundaries to feel grounded, but i have a playful adventurous side that is begging for a tour guide.
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