tough week.....

this has been a really hard week.  my personal life has been great, but some of my really close friends are in the midst of nightmares.  situations where your faith is tested.  when you have to remind yourself that "everything happens for a reason".  when you ask God for help and know that He will give you the opportunity to achieve what you are asking for.

it seems like sometimes things happen in life that just have no explanations.  i do believe that everything happens for a reason.  that in most unpleasant situations there is a lesson to be learned.  wouldn't it be nice if the reason appeared on your doorstep wrapped up in a bow?  or that the lesson was nicely bound with a leather cover an index and references to other sources for similar lessons?  it can be exhausting, frustrating and often times a difficult journey to find the answers.  i wonder though, if answers were easy to find and laid out right in front of us would we trust them?  would we listen to what the answer is?  would we continue to learn and grow as humans?  i am positive that if all the answers were handed to me i wouldn't trust, listen or know myself. 

so my bff shreddie (yep the one in belarus) had a tragic death in her extended family this week.  i wish that there was more i could do for her, but thousands of miles seperate us.  i am however, through the advances in technology able to see her via skype.  if she were here, i would've wrapped her up in a big hug and just held her tight.  there aren't words to make it better, or even words that will ease the pain her family is going through right now.  she has been able to find some solace in the fact that her husband was able to board a plane to the states for the weekend to attend the memorial service.  i will also be going to the memorial in hopes that another familiar face will bring some sense of normalcy to a surreal day.

throughout this week i have felt very thankful.  thankful that i am considered trustworthy enough to share with.  that my friends are comfortable enough around me that they can break down, be vulnerable and know that i am not going to judge them and be supportive.  it is incredible to have that trust with another human being.  i have never been one to claim i know the answers, quite the opposite i am looking for answers, but it is nice to be that "shoulder", to be able to reciprocate the support and love they have showed me.

i love you