post intoxication...

recently a friend asked me what are the other stages of a relationship?  i read your blog and you mentioned the honeymoon stage, what are the rest?  i responded with well, i don't know.  i have had one significant relationship outside of my marriage and touched down briefly past honeymoon. 

i think you start with the honeymoon stage, or something i like to call the intoxication of newness.  when i first meet someone and they pique my interest enough to see them again, i feel like i am on a happiness high, or that i am parched and can't seem to quench the thirst.  admittedly this hasn't happened to me often, but when it does it is exhilarating and all consuming.  i want to talk to that person all the time, learn more, see them whenever and at all costs.  like i said it's intoxicating and i have a hard time controlling myself.

there is a small problem with this stage.  i touched on this the other day, you tend to be blind.  maybe this is something that happens only to me, but i know that i overlook or allow things to be that i wouldn't normally put up with because i am head over heels.  stupid i know. for some reason i find it hard to keep my eyes wide open, my heart in check and my head clear.  i stink at relationships. 

after that initial intoxication stage, it seems like you fall into a familiar routine.  if by some miracle you are still enamored with your partner after the intoxication wears off, there might be a good chance you will spend some considerable time with this person.  at this point your "goo goo ga ga" goggles are off and you are seeing this person for who they really are and they have most likely dropped their guards.  i can tell you from past experience i haven't been so enamored during this stage and ultimately the journey ended.  sigh. 

the only other stage i seem to be too familiar with is the ending of a journey.  i am not good at goodbyes.  it doesn't matter what kind of goodbye it is, they make me sad.  is there anyone out there that enjoys goodbyes? 

really what this all boils down to is i don't know squat about relationships.  i clearly don't know how to make one last.  i know people who have successful relationships and have asked, what i think are good questions about their secret, but i 'm still at a loss. 

so friend, i have absolutely NO idea.