family time...

what does your family look like?  do you have a traditional nuclear family?  mom, dad, siblings and a  dog all residing under the same roof?  maybe you have an all too common broken family? mom and dad in seperate homes and the siblings bounce back and forth between the two homes with the family dog in tow.  or maybe you have a blended family?  a step parent, step siblings, your biological siblings and parents and a cat under one roof.  there are many other types of families, but these three i think are the most common, especially in our american culture. 

holidays, like the one we just had, are traditionally a family day.  i come from a broken family and now have a broken family, so juggling families isn't new for me.  however, it is different when you are the parent having to do the coordinating.  when you are the kiddo you just go where your parents bring you.  my ex and i have a pretty standard holiday visitation schedule; we trade holidays and then the following year it is reversed. 

last year i didn't have my kiddos and went to portland to visit with my friend keri.  that was super fun, i actually really enjoyed getting away for the holiday weekend.  this year i had my kiddos and we spent time with my dad on saturday and my mom on sunday.  on our way from my mom's the kids both asked about seeing their dad.  i know how hard it is to not see both your parents on a holiday and want to ease that as much as possible for my kids.

we stopped by their dad's house.  in my head they were just going to run in and say hi, happy easter, get back in my car and we would go home.  in reality, they jumped out, ran in to say hi, then ran back out can we stay the night?  i am a softie, the relationship with their father is important and i try not to interfere with that, so i almost always say yes.  after a couple of hugs, kisses and i love you's they tumbled out of my car. 

my buddy turned back to wave and i was crying.  i didn't mean for him to see me cry.  this meant he started crying and i summoned him back to my car.  he climbed in my lap and i held him like an infant.  a really long infant, but just how i held him when he was tiny.  he wanted to know why i was crying.  i told him that i always cry when i drop you off because i miss you before you leave my sight.

both my children have tender souls, they are always so concerned about my happiness.  i don't like my children seeing me in weak moments.  the ones when i lose my patience, or the ones when i am a pitiful heap of tears, or the ones where i don't want to get out of my bed because the day seems too much to face.  however, i think it is good for them to see that i have all the emotions they do.  that things hurt or are hard but those things aren't barriers trapping me in a quagmire of despair. 

eventhough i was sad to watch my children leave, i am glad they got to spend some time with their dad.  i am sure he appreciated it too.  i hope you all had a blessed holiday and enjoyed the day with your family, whatever your family looks like.