what if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?
i read this sometime last week. i wrote it down on a sticky note and it has been staring at me for the last several days taunting me, answer the question flo. the answer to this question makes me uncomfortable. really uncomfortable.
if i woke up today with only the things i thanked God for yesterday...i would have NOTHING! you read that correctly, nothing. i would wake up in my cozy bed to an endless void of nothing. as soon as my eyelids parted my cozy bed would vanish and i would drop. drop onto what i am not sure. i don't know where you stand or exist when you are in a void of nothing.
the picture in my head is white. just a plain white space. there is no sky or ground. there is no horizon. there is no noise coming from me or around me. it is neither cold nor hot. i can't imagine how terrifying this would be. would i walk, if i was able to? if i did would it seem like i was getting somewhere? would there ever be an edge to the white? this image is spooky.
i am a religious individual, but not a shove it down your throat religious individual. i consider myself a Believer of God, but i don't talk to God everyday. not even every other day. i tend to have my conversations or pleas when i feel my world shattering, or what i interpret as shattering. for some reason this also happens to be the time i skip church.
sometime in early 2011 i posted about this, but i don't quite remember which one it is in. in a nutshell i was saying that i look around the sanctuary at the seemingly happy, traditional families and wish i had that. i feel like people are looking at me and judging my situation, which logically i know isn't true. there was a bunch more to what i said, but this is the gist of it.
anyway, the question above makes me uncomfortable because what if this really happened? would i want to carry on? maybe this is what hell is? a white void without any importance. without any comforts. without any of the people i love. to me, this is far worse than the image i think most of us conjure up when we think of hell.
this makes me think of something else. what if you when you go to bed you thank God for whatever and you die while you are sleeping? and what if only those things you were thankful for the night before are what is with you in heaven? thinking of the question this way makes me create a long mental list.
i guess you can see why contemplating, thinking, and examining this question has made me uncomfortable. i hopefully won't know the answer for a very long time. i've been given a second chance to live a life being a better more authentic me, i need some time to execute that life.
if i woke up today with only the things i thanked God for yesterday...i would have NOTHING! you read that correctly, nothing. i would wake up in my cozy bed to an endless void of nothing. as soon as my eyelids parted my cozy bed would vanish and i would drop. drop onto what i am not sure. i don't know where you stand or exist when you are in a void of nothing.
the picture in my head is white. just a plain white space. there is no sky or ground. there is no horizon. there is no noise coming from me or around me. it is neither cold nor hot. i can't imagine how terrifying this would be. would i walk, if i was able to? if i did would it seem like i was getting somewhere? would there ever be an edge to the white? this image is spooky.
i am a religious individual, but not a shove it down your throat religious individual. i consider myself a Believer of God, but i don't talk to God everyday. not even every other day. i tend to have my conversations or pleas when i feel my world shattering, or what i interpret as shattering. for some reason this also happens to be the time i skip church.
sometime in early 2011 i posted about this, but i don't quite remember which one it is in. in a nutshell i was saying that i look around the sanctuary at the seemingly happy, traditional families and wish i had that. i feel like people are looking at me and judging my situation, which logically i know isn't true. there was a bunch more to what i said, but this is the gist of it.
anyway, the question above makes me uncomfortable because what if this really happened? would i want to carry on? maybe this is what hell is? a white void without any importance. without any comforts. without any of the people i love. to me, this is far worse than the image i think most of us conjure up when we think of hell.
this makes me think of something else. what if you when you go to bed you thank God for whatever and you die while you are sleeping? and what if only those things you were thankful for the night before are what is with you in heaven? thinking of the question this way makes me create a long mental list.
i guess you can see why contemplating, thinking, and examining this question has made me uncomfortable. i hopefully won't know the answer for a very long time. i've been given a second chance to live a life being a better more authentic me, i need some time to execute that life.
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