second chances...

are you a person who gives second chances?

 

i am.  go ahead call me a push over, a door mat, a softie, whatever.  i have my reasons, that i will share, but i believe in second chances.  i don't think that this attribute of mine is a weakness, i actually think it is one of the many reasons why i can be a good friend.

 

last week was a doozy of a week.  my romantic life fell apart, i had to tell someone who used to be super important to me to leave me alone, i talked to J (he will always hold a special place in my heart), i got a really nice email about how you never know when you will make an impact and i received an email of apology.  it's the last tidbit that i want to examine and has brought this question up.

 

the last time i spoke to this human was in april 2012.  at the time a heated exchange of words transpired.  this human said some horribly rude things about me that i didn't agree with but i listened.  well read, the whole interaction happened via text.  there was never an opportunity to have a discussion with our voices and i think this may have contributed to the nastiness. 

 

i have not seen hide nor hair from this human in 5 months, and then this...

 

I just wanted to take
A minute and tell you how sorry I
Am for the way I treated you wanted
To call you months ago and talk to you
But I got a new phone and had no way
To get a hold of you I thought about Stopping
In your work but felt weird about doing that.
Hope all is well

 

wow!  i was surprised to say the least.  of course i responded and said i didn't handle myself well either (because i didn't) and that i too was sorry.  we chatted for a bit, just to catch up and that was it.  i may not hear from this human for a while or ever, but i think it took a lot of guts to apologize and reach out. 

 

here is what i have learned in my thirty six years.  i am not in a position to understand why someone makes choices.  i don't have their life history.  i'm not privy to the thoughts coursing through their brain.  i don't get to feel what they are feeling.  the only piece i get is what they choose to share with me.  whether that information is truthful, how they really feel or just b.s. i don't know.  all i can do is make an assumption and put together as many pieces of the puzzle as possible.

 

if for some reason that human comes back at a later date and says, hey i was wrong.  who am i to say well too bad for you i've written you off for good ?  now with that said i may not be ready to accept you completely, i will for sure reenter with trepidation and be on high alert, but i will definitely give you a second chance.  i should mention that i am not a third chancer or fourth chancer.  really i can only take so much before it just isn't worth the turmoil.

 

so do you believe in second chances?  i imagine at some point in your life you have wished someone would give you another chance?  i know i have.  i guess what i am saying is to be open to the idea if it comes your way.