past the front stoop...

 

my ex husband used to hate the question what do you do for a living?  he refused to answer it.  he felt it was really intrusive.  basically he didn't want to be judged on what he did and preferred that you didn't make an assumption based on his profession.  one would think he was a scum scraper by how offended he was by the question, but he's not.  he actually has a very good job and maybe that was it, he didn't want anyone to make assumptions about his financial portfolio.

anyway, that question has never bothered me.  i will tell you exactly what i do without any qualms.  i have learned to despise a different question.  one that i had never considered before...

why are you single?

 

first i had never intended on being single.  second i think it is a dumb question.  third, well i don't really know how to answer it without sounding like a stuck up snob or the neighborhood tramp.  not really, the position was already filled besides being stuck up is just so rude.  haha...i'm cracking myself up.  okay back to business.

i choose to be single.  this is a bold face lie not really the best way to start a new adventure.  i don't want to be single.  saying that is dumb.  i am not a human being who is meant to live out the rest of my days sharing the joys of me with just me. 

i don't have time.  this is only partially true.  in the beginning stages i don't have a lot of time, but i can devote what time i have to the special someone in my life.  i truly want to incorporate and include someone into my life, it is just a slow process.

men are pigs.  well as much as that seems true sometimes, i don't really believe that.  i think men are great, they add such an interesting, sometimes seriously annoying, aspect to life.  for the most part men seem to be very simple creatures which balances out the ultra complicatedness of women. 

i'm not ready.  again a lie.  i am more than ready.  itching, craving, salivating at the chops ready. 

 

if i knew why i was single, don't you think that i would do something to fix it?  i can say it isn't for a lack of trying.  i routinely and continually put myself out there.  although it may seem like i entertain a revolving door of men, there are very few who i let in.  this is the snob part...it is not so much that i think a certain man is good or not good enough, but there needs to be many things that line up for me to bring you past the front stoop. 

the smart ass side of me wants to answer this question very differently.  i've never had the balls to do it but someday...

random man: why are you single?

 

smart ass me: i have 7 children from 3 daddies, a stuffed animal collection that takes up my bed so i sleep on the couch, and i spent a good portion of last year in a padded room, but i'm not really sure why.  i think i'm pretty normal.  (insert cheeky wink)