time out...

so the other day i kinda panicked.  well maybe i panicked a lot.  i was having a less than desirable day and it seemed like events were piling up.  if i had only one thing go wrong that would've been manageable, but when several things go wrong and there seems to be no end in sight, i feel like i am drowning.  at least i imagine that is what drowning feels like, i've never even been close to drowning before.  i can imagine that there is a sense of panic, terror, and fear.  alright, so maybe the feelings i was experiencing weren't quite the same, but panic was abundant.

i have to say i get pretty disappointed that i can't see the forest for the trees sometimes.  hopefully i'm not interpreting this wrong, but i take this as seeing each tree individually instead of a mass of trees.  i couldn't see each event individually, they were piling up and i got so overwhelmed that i turned into a raving b*@!#. 

just ask my ratchets.  i yelled at them for no reason other than they were kids.  a crime punishable by death on a day like the other day.  my ratchets took up arguing as their favorite past time over the summer.  they were embarking on the gold medal round the day before school.  i was not in the mood to referee this heavyweight bout.  at the end of three evenly matched rounds both contestants were gag ordered in separate corners.  ah a moment of peace and quiet for this run down mamma.

when the world seems to be stacking up against me, all my insecurities wander to the forefront of my brain taking center stage.  unfortunately this means i start question my romantic life.  have i ever mentioned how i suck dog balls when it comes to relationships?  well i haven't ever, nor do i ever plan on really sucking dog balls because eww, but the expression kind of sums up how i act...eww.  i have mentioned that i've been spending a fair amount of my free time with a certain someone and in true flo form i morphed into a super insecure version of my normal self.  ugh! 

anyhow, a week later and i can't even remember what the events of the day were.  clearly they weren't as opposing as i had made them out to be.  i should probably send myself to a time out the next time i feel that overwhelmed.  this way i can spare my ratchets and the other important people in my life.