munchausen me...

Munchausen syndrome is a type of factitious disorder, or mental illness, in which a person repeatedly acts as if he or she has a physical or mental disorder when, in truth, he or she has caused the symptoms. People with factitious disorders act this way because of an inner need to be seen as ill or injured, not to achieve a concrete benefit, such as financial gain. They are even willing to undergo painful or risky tests and operations in order to get the sympathy and special attention given to people who are truly ill. Some will secretively injure themselves to cause signs like blood in the urine or cyanosis of a limb. Munchausen syndrome is a mental illness associated with severe emotional difficulties.

 

sometimes i feel like a munchausen me.  although i don't create physical symptoms, imagine illnesses, or get radical procedures done for sympathy and/or attention, i do share my life in a way that may seem attention seeking.  in some small way there is some truth to this, but it's very minute.

i have a tumor of doubt, the pain of insecurity, and the aches of worthlessness,  however this only part of me.  i bleed words so that i can stitch up those negatives with authenticity, cast with honesty and heal through truth.  i am not seeking attention, recognition or validation, but i can see how it could be seen that way.

i think it is so important to share our stories, our experiences and our results. we have so much to learn from the people we share our world with.  unfortunately we seem to live in a time where we are supposed to be perfect. have perfect lives, perfect houses, perfect clothes, perfect children, perfect jobs, perfect complexions, and perfect relationships. we are not supposed to let anyone know that we struggle, that we have imperfections, that we are human.  there seems to be shame in imperfection.

 

the other day i received an email from a virtual stranger.  i have only met this human once, on a tour, we became facebook friends that day and i haven't had any interaction with them since.  i was somewhat surprised to receive this email, but it came at the most perfect time.  here is an excerpt from the email

 

What I'm trying to say is thank you. I know that people don't know how they or something they say, write, post whatever format information was passed on can affect someone else. I wanted to say that sharing your story has affected me and I appreciate you sharing your life good, bad and everything in between.

 

it can be scary to share who you really are with those around you.  our world is unaccepting of many things, but there is freedom in authenticity.  you may not be received well by all, but your story is important and shouldn't be hidden.