F-you
really that is where i am at. i don't swear a lot. however this two word statement seems to fit today. i can say with one hundred percent assuredness that my tolerance for bullshit is waning.
i have been edgy, crabby, irritated, upset and in a generally pissed off mood since saturday afternoon. i can't seem to shake it. in return, my crabbiness is lurping into other areas of my life. i am short in my answers, have less tolerance for obnoxious noise, no patience for arguing and well anything else that is bothersome i don't want to deal.
really i am just pouting. things aren't going my way and i being a brat about it. short of having a foot stomping tantrum i'm handling myself like an oversized two year old. does it help that i have other factors that are increasing my toddler like behavior? maybe if i explain them you will side with me.
first of all i am exhausted. i have slept maybe 10 hours combined since saturday night. yes you read that right. if you know me, you know that i sleep a lot. that i value my beauty sleep. not only do i value it i need it. i do not function well without an adequate 9+ hours a night. i seem to have sleep cycles; like a rock, like i'm on a rock, and nothing like a rock more like throwing the rock. i am in the throwing the rock phase.
i cannot turn off my brain. this is a problem i have been plagued with since i was a preteen. i have tried all my tricks, but sleep eludes me. i seem to drift off at some point, but i am only sleeping about 30 minutes at a time with hours in between where i am wide awake. the plus side of being awake, i am getting in a lot of good reading. i have finished two books this week and it is only thursday.
the other reason why my mood is in the shitter is because i am having my period. ladies, i am sorry but as much as we want to deny that this affects us, it does. on sunday, my bff bethy actually got up and moved away from me at the soccer game because i was in such a foul mood. the sad part, i was really trying to keep it under wraps, but i wanted to rip someones head off. that is a hard emotion to contain. thankfully i am not that strong, i was in a mood to cause some serious damage.
bethy and i had talked about it on tuesday and we were in tears of laughter. she said i haven't seen you like that in months. and she is right, i am not like that every monthly cycle, but this was a doozy and it is just keeps on coming. sigh.
so you see there have just been too many factors that are taking my mood from irritated to violent she beast. at this point i need something to go my way, get a good nights sleep and stop the shedding of my uterus for heavens sake. i've had enough. i'm raising my white flag.
first of all i am exhausted. i have slept maybe 10 hours combined since saturday night. yes you read that right. if you know me, you know that i sleep a lot. that i value my beauty sleep. not only do i value it i need it. i do not function well without an adequate 9+ hours a night. i seem to have sleep cycles; like a rock, like i'm on a rock, and nothing like a rock more like throwing the rock. i am in the throwing the rock phase.
i cannot turn off my brain. this is a problem i have been plagued with since i was a preteen. i have tried all my tricks, but sleep eludes me. i seem to drift off at some point, but i am only sleeping about 30 minutes at a time with hours in between where i am wide awake. the plus side of being awake, i am getting in a lot of good reading. i have finished two books this week and it is only thursday.
the other reason why my mood is in the shitter is because i am having my period. ladies, i am sorry but as much as we want to deny that this affects us, it does. on sunday, my bff bethy actually got up and moved away from me at the soccer game because i was in such a foul mood. the sad part, i was really trying to keep it under wraps, but i wanted to rip someones head off. that is a hard emotion to contain. thankfully i am not that strong, i was in a mood to cause some serious damage.
bethy and i had talked about it on tuesday and we were in tears of laughter. she said i haven't seen you like that in months. and she is right, i am not like that every monthly cycle, but this was a doozy and it is just keeps on coming. sigh.
so you see there have just been too many factors that are taking my mood from irritated to violent she beast. at this point i need something to go my way, get a good nights sleep and stop the shedding of my uterus for heavens sake. i've had enough. i'm raising my white flag.
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