arch, suck, pout....

do you think of yourself as sexy? 

 

once upon a time, not too many years ago, i did one of those boudoir photo shoots.  at the time i was married, but desperately infatuated with someone else.  this is something i have talked about before, anatomy of my affair, something i am not particularly proud of but still part of my past. 

wow!  way off topic, bringing it back around.

there are times when i step way, way out of my comfort zone and try something completely out of character.  having a boudoir shoot is definitely out of my comfort zone.  i am relatively shy in regards to my body and truly don't view myself as sexy.  this is not to say i think i'm as unattractive as chewed up gum, but in my eyes i am closer to awkward. 

thankfully i have never wanted to model. maybe there is work for the awkward and strange? it is really difficult to position yourself and feel sexy. the mantra in my head; arch, suck it in, pout, woo. how in the world are you supposed to look natural?  i learned a lot about myself during the process

 

one, it is really hard to look natural when you feel like a circus contortionist.  i think the arch in a woman's back is ultra sexy, especially when you focus around the hip area. let's make this real clear i am totally one hundred percent into men, but i do find the female figure very beautiful.  step one, arch your back and accentuate your curves.  go ahead and try arching your back.  did your stomach pop out?  mine does. so really the directions should be arch and suck.  suck in that gut.

two, i do not have one of those mouths that can pull off the alluring pout.  these were my instructions; puff your lips just a bit then let your mouth fall open a little.  somehow this is supposed to give you that sexy pout.  as a former mouth breathing troll, i have worked very hard to not let my mouth hang open.  i couldn't relax my mouth enough to get that sexy look and where the heck are you supposed to rest your tongue? 

all i could hear in my head was the therapist who spent hours upon hours with me.  i had these ridiculous exercises that involved teeny tiny rubberbands that i had to stick on the tip of my tongue and hold up to the roof of my mouth.  you try feeling, let alone looking sexy, hearing your therapist saying, "close your mouth and hold this rubberband up with your tongue." 

three, bedroom eyes don't come naturally.  have you ever noticed the ladies in victoria's secret catalogue have the best "bedroom eyes"?   those ladies have perfected the "come ravish me" look.  i have not even come close to this look.  my bedroom eyes say "i'm worried" or "i'm trying to go number two".  neither of which is sexy or alluring.  instead of "hey babe..." i get "are you okay..."  sigh.

so why in the world is this coming up?  i am having the urge to do this again.  i feel better about my body than i did the first time around.  although i may never be able to pull off the sexy pout, i do love my smile and would prefer to draw you in that way.  maybe as a treat to me for my 40th, still a few years away, i will brave the boudoir shoot again.