my last meal...

i'm about to embark on a seven day cleanse.  a strict eating regimen that is supposed to clean my system of every horrible thing i've ever ingested.  since it is the eve of my last meal, i had an extra helping with dinner.  which really translates to two tacos, big ones, and an extra helping of chips and salsa.  followed by a nightcap of a delicious brewski.  now i'm not sure if the beer was really all that great or if it just tasted better knowing i may never have one again.

just to be clear, i am not a dieter.  never have been, probably never will be.  i am however intrigued by these cleanse diets, toxin releasers and bringing my temple (aka my body) back to a purer form of itself.  i have tried many toxin releasing baths and magic pills that claim to cleanse your body but i can't say i notice much of a difference.  i understand that there is no quick fix or magic pill, but an extra boost can't hurt, right?

come to think of it, all of these crazy diets and magic pills remind me of chain letters.  do you remember these?  i recall getting them when i was a youth in the mailbox.  believe or not things other than junk and bills used to come in the mail.   there were strict instructions about passing on the exact letter to your closest 8 friends within a certain time frame.  this meant you painstakingly copied every word verbatim in your best handwriting, yes i said handwriting computers weren't commonplace in everyday households back in my youth, a lengthy letter with strict instructions.  once you had copied the letter 8 times, you carefully folded each one, placed them in a handwritten envelope (there was no peel and stick label you just ran off in your printer) and licked the stamp before affixing it to the top right hand corner.

if you followed the directions just perfectly a miracle would happen.  i must've done it wrong because none of the things i wished for came true.  i clearly remember sitting at the kichen table writing letter after letter and coming up with the best wish i could think of.  something along the lines of the new salt-n-peppa tape, or a new poster of corey haim, or that my crush at the time would finally notice me.  my wishes at the time weren't huge, yet they still didn't come true.

i still get this type of chain letter today.  now it comes in my email or sometimes on my phone, the time frame has been shortened dramatically but the number of people to send it to has stayed the same.  with the ease of "copy and paste" i think the stakes should be raised just a little bit.  instead of your closest 8 friends, it should be your closest 80.  oh come on, don't we all have at least 80 "close" friends in our facebook friend list?  this can't be that hard, just select the first half, you don't even really have to know them, copy, paste and send.  voila!  all you're wishes and dreams are on their way.

sounds silly right?  well that is how i think of these miracle diets.  so why am i partaking in this cleanse diet?  why not?  i figure i have nothing to lose except for maybe a few pounds, a few toxins and possibly my life!  okay losing my life is a little dramatic, but i tend to be that way sometimes.  *wink*