a quote to ponder...

because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have ~unknown

i love when i read something that strikes a chord within me.  a collection of words that makes me stop, tilt my head to the right, furrow my brow and say to myself hmmmm... if i was a man and had a beard or goatee, i would probably bring my hands to my chin and stroke my chin in a very scholarly, contemplative way.  if i wore glasses i might remove them from my face and chew on the end of the ear piece while i soaked in the words.

i have to throw out this little side note before delving into the reason behind my post today.  if i was a man and was able to grow a nice looking beard or goatee, i would totally do it. why?  just so i could stroke my chin.  my dad does this.  when he does this i think he looks so distinguished.  i don't get the same effect when i do this.  you really need to be a man to pull this off.

back to it....

i read this quote this morning.  i have reread this set of words many times.  i've said it out loud.  i've mouthed it with no audible noise.  i've read it fast, slow and somewhere in the middle.  every time i read it i think of someone different in my life and what they bring to my life.  you see i think love is expressed in many different forms and each person in my life shares a love with me.

this statement is a reminder of how selfish we are as humans.  we crave and seek acceptance, love, and praise from the people we allow in our lives and even from the ones we haven't let in yet.  the funny thing is, when a person shares their love and it doesn't feel the way we think it should, we get greedy.  we complain and cry and even demand that it be different to satisfy our own need and desire.  what the statement is telling me is that if someone shares their love it is what they have.  nothing more.  nothing less.  receive and be grateful that love is being shared at all. 

so why is this so hard to do? 

from my children i expect that i am the center of their world and when someone else (especially their dad) replaces me, even for a fleeting second, it crushes me.  i have celebrated every moment, nursed every wound, lifted them up when they crumble and laughed until we cried.  it is unfair of me to be jealous of the unconditional love they show for their dad but i am.  truth be told i feel i deserve their love more than he does.  if i am to sit back and take a deep breath, i realize that just as i love both of my children with unwavering devotion, they have room in their hearts for both of us.  their love for their dad doesn't mean they love me less.

there are people who have come and gone in my life.  their presence may have been short but they gave me everything they had for the time they were present.  i know this now, but didn't know this at the time.  sometimes they come back and are able to give more than before.  being open to that without reservation is difficult, something i have not even begun to master. 

this statement of love has been on my brain all day.  although i haven't been able to make sense of why i struggle with accepting the love that is given, i am going to try.  not just to make sense of it, but to receive love in whatever form.  because at the end of today i come to realize this...if someone is willing and trusting enough to share their love with me, i should be open and grateful to receive it without judgment.