it is the second week of my faith based parenting class. why must i put in "faith"? does parenting with an emphasis on the gospel change how one parents? am i seeking approval from my other faithful believers that i am being a good Christian? am i trying to show God, hey look at me i am trying to implement your teachings and spread your word to my children? answers: i don't know, yes, no, no.
it is interesting and somewhat uncomfortable to sit through this class. there a few father/mother parenting teams, the pastor, myself and a couple of others. it is a well attended class, however we can be very tight lipped in sharing our thoughts. in both sessions there have been several moments of awkward silence, where the pastor has asked a question and no one seems brave enough to answer. i know for myself, i am not one to have all eyes on me, i am not that versed in my faith, and i don't want to say the wrong answer so i don't answer. instead when a question is asked i avert my eyes and madly study the book for what i think the answer is.
i know i have said this before, but i think it is worth repeating. i grew up attending a traditional Lutheran church. i was baptized as an infant, i went to sunday school, i was involved in my churches youth program, i went through a condensed confirmation class. i say grace before dinner, but not other meals. i have grown up doing the "Christian thing", but i've never retained the teachings. i simply can't recall bible verses, can't recite scripture from memory, i still have to refer to my index to know where a certain book falls in the bible.
i've also never had the lingo. you won't catch me praising Jesus for nice weather, or safe travels to work, or for a streak of good luck. this is not to say that i don't privately thank Him for good things, but i certainly don't walk around touting my praise. when i do say things in Christian lingo it feels foreign in my mouth. when i am around someone who is so forthcoming i think they sound insincere. almost as if they are so over-the-top christian to prove that they do believe. i just don't think it is normal to always vocally bless those around you, unless you are a pastor, but even the religious leaders i have known don't speak this way in their everyday language. they have their preacher lingo and then their everyday shooting the breeze lingo.
so according to this class i am supposed to have a monologue with my children about acting more Christian-like. the book is a little unrealistic in the manner that conversation is supposed to happen. the opening paragraph has siblings pounding on each other and the mother does what i think most mother's initial reactions would be, "stop it! we don't beat each other up in our house!" if it were me i would shout, "enough!" i use that word a lot with my kids. well the authors of this book give an alternate version, where she is lecturing the kids on how Jesus would've dealt with the same scenario and why. the alternate version is half a page of text. during our first session there was conversation on how we felt that the authors didn't recognize who their target audience was.
so we went a little deeper into what this really looks like during the next class. what i took from it is that first we should follow God's Law do unto others as you would have done unto you followed by God's Gospel, the why behind the law. this makes more sense to me. when i analyze how i parent and the words i choose to use, i realize that i do preach God's Law, i just don't use the lingo. for me do unto others as you would have done unto you comes out as treat each other the way you want to be treated. the part that i am lacking, according to this book about how to dazzle my children through the love of Jesus, is why we should do this.
so as the kids and i were driving home from youth group/parenting class, i asked them some basic questions about the bible, going to church, if they wanted to hear more of the gospel in our home? nothing too deep, because i wouldn't know how to answer them. since i don't usually talk this way they both looked at me like i had fallen off my rocker, but they both wanted to know more. this is interesting and daunting to me. in order for me to educate them more i will first have to educate myself. oy!
"are you dazzled?" this question is answered with contorted faces and then uncontrollable laughter. i don't think i have dazzled them with the love of Jesus, but i do notice a difference in how i approach certain situations. i still holler, "enough!" i am constantly preaching "treat each other the way you want to be treated", "keep your hands to yourself", and "stop arguing". somehow i don't think that will ever change, i think it is ingrained in parents to attempt to keep the peace so we don't go bananas. perhaps in the next couple of sessions i will learn some new dazzling tools.
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