when i grow up....

i want to be a writer!!  funny, how i've never been able to answer this question.  i have never known what it is i want to be when i grow up.  my answer has changed so many times since i was younger.  i have never been the girl who wants to be a vet...ewww!!  i actually could see myself as a school teacher, but being responsible for all those little minds is a daunting overwhelming task.  a doctor...eh no, i love medicine and am very curious about how the body works, but the pressure of school would kill me.  i thought for a while that i wanted to be a dental hygienist, but i never even looked into it and the moment passed.  in high school i wanted to do something with art...be a curator, or run an art studio.  well that passed too, i quickly realized that i am not a "deep" enough person to understand art and honestly most of it looks like a mess to me.  my deepest apologies to all my artist friends, your work is beautiful, even if i don't understand it. 

words...this is something that works for me.  i am a word nerd.  i like the way a songwriter can string them together and come up with a complex beautiful arrangement that speaks to a person's soul.  the way a poet can talk about an inanimate object that really represents a lover's heartbreak.  an author that can tell a story that keeps you at the edge of your seat and has you up all night trying to figure out the ending, or sobbing because the characters are so real you feel their pain. 

so when i grow up i want to be a writer. of what?  who knows, i suppose i will figure it out.  i can picture myself in my work space.  i would need a window with a view of the water, preferably moving water.  the sound of water is very soothing and brings me to a happy place.  my space would be cozy.  lots of texture.  color.  pictures of my children on the walls.  by then (when i am grown up) i will have a sweetie and pictures of us will be on the walls too.  knick knacks and mementos of things that inspire me will be everywhere.  books, there will be lots and lots of books, stacked on the floor, on bookshelves, on the edge of my work table.  my favorite mug will be nestled perfectly amongst the crumpled pieces of paper and sticky notes tacked to everything.  there will also be music, lots of music, all different kinds to inspire me.

i will most likely get dressed to "go to work", in my heels.  i love the image of writers smoking.  i am not a smoker, but maybe i could get a fake cigarette just to fulfill this image.  i rarely wear my hair up, so it will most likely be down framing my face and resting on my shoulders, and i will constantly be sweeping it to the side.  i haven't figured out how to do the Bieber Flip and get my hair to stay so i will have to use my right hand.  i have never worn glasses, but have always wanted a pair to rest on the end of my nose.  i am sure after the first ten minutes i will be tired of them, but then i could put the end of an ear piece in my mouth and have that really serious look to me while i am tapping out my words.  i have a "writing sweater", it is mid-calf, grey or maroon, super cozy cable knit, bell sleeves, no buttons but maybe a sash tie and it has pockets, functional pockets.

well, now that i know what i want to be, i should do something about it.  question is where to start??