Sunday, May 22, 2011

navigating blindly....

the doctors don't hand you a manual with your newborn when you leave hospital.  can you even imagine?  the ins and outs of parenting would not fit in a pocket size manual.  it would be volume after volume of thick reference guides that would most likely take an entire bookshelf to house.  there isn't one right way to parent but there are definitely things that are not acceptable. you can't withhold food until your children are compliant, or beat them into submission, cage them when you need to run to the store, or tether them outside because you are tired of their noise.  just a few examples of things you simply can't do. sadly if there were actual manuals these would have to be listed. 

parenting to me feels like i am walking through a labyrinth blindfolded, placing each foot with purpose on the ground, hands stretched before me to try and feel the way, when i reach a dead end i have to pivot and continue.  i don't know if i am getting anywhere, if i am making any progress, but i continue because there isn't any other option.  navigating a labyrinth is challenging enough with the use of one or both eyes, but parenting doesn't give you the luxury of sight.  instead it is a series of blind wrong turns, dead ends and restarts.  sometimes your senses steer you in the right direction and you get to make several right turns in a row.  pat yourself on the back, you have succeeded. 
i have had a challenging kid week. between trips to the emergency room, doctors appointments, picking up my son who was crumbling from upsetting news, projects for school, soccer and just the regular spats between siblings i am beat!  sometimes i am surprised that i even survive some weeks in one piece that sort of resembles my regular self.  i know i will continue to have challenging times with my kiddos.  i will experience times where i feel like i have failed them but those will be coupled with times of triumphant rejoicing.

it is all part of the gig of parenting. 

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