getting ripped...

make up

fashion trends

haircuts and color

manicures

pedicures

tanning

exercise

shapers

let's be real, ladies go through a lot to keep up their appearance.  it can be argued that we do it for ourselves, but i think the majority of ladies put themselves through a rigorous upkeep regimen to please their fella or to attract a fella.  i am not discounting the influence of the media and celebrities because this is our gauge for perfection, but most of us do not have the same amenities at our disposal. 

one of the many regimens to achieving perfection is body hair removal.  there are a several different forms of removing ones hair; shaving, waxing, plucking, threading and electrolysis to name a few.  i have done a few of these.  i am an italian/german naturally hairy gal, daily shaving is a must.  let's just say that if i have shaved my legs in the morning i am sporting a 5 o'clock shadow in the evening.  big sigh.  no worries potential suitors i take great care in staying hairless.

my sister is a hair removal expert.  she will wax, sugar and pluck unwanted hair from any region of your body.  i secretly think she enjoys inflicting pain on people, but we will just say she enjoys the extra income. when she was in school learning the tricks of the trade she would rip and then watch your facial expressions.  see i told you, she likes to inflict pain on others.  i have let my sister wax and sugar my eyebrows, mustache (at certain times of year it is much more noticeable than others), armpits, legs and the typical bikini wax, but not a brazilian.

i had a couple of reasons for keeping my meticulously groomed "down there hair".  one it hurts like a mother *!^$#* to wax.  two refer back to reason one.  i had also never entertained the idea of my sister doing it.  what could be more uncomfortable than your sister up close and personal with your hoo-ha?  i can't think of too many things that are more uncomfortable.  after much deliberation and advice from some fellow blip friends i decided to give it a go.

here's the thing about my sister, if you agree to something she will hold you to it.  there is absolutely no backing out of it.  so when i text her the morning of and said i need to reschedule, i started my period this morning.  she simply replied that isn't an issue, see you at 10:30. i was floored.  ummm..first of all nasty, i am already uncomfortable with the thought of my sis being that close to my hoo-ha and i'm having my period.  could this get any worse?  what in the world am i thinking?  all i can think of is the wax (or in this case sugar) getting caught up in my lady gear.  i just know something horrible is going to happen, i am not the luckiest of gals.

so i meet my sister at my mom's house, because we need to make this as awkward as possible, and drop trow.  i climb up on her portable waxing table naked from the waist down and clamp my legs together.  i still can't believe i am doing this, the last time my sister saw this region of my body naked was eight years ago when i delivered my son.  i am wondering if i look different down there, does your hoo-ha age? i don't dare ask, i really don't want an inspection. 

sis puts on her game face and is all business.  as she gets started prepping the area, she starts giving me instructions on after care, maintenance, and what i am about to endure.  what in the world do you talk about when your sister is touching you in a place no sister should?  weather seems a little weird.  she asks me about any latest love interests.  okay this is a normal topic to discuss with my sister, but our current situation is far from normal.   in between many "ows" and "mother of ___s", i tell her about delicious, a long shot of a romance, but still i am swooning.  before i know it she is done with the front and says "flip over".

ummm...why?  well, with a true brazilian you remove the hair from the back.  what in the world?  now i don't spend a whole lot of time spreading my cheeks and checking my crack out, but how hairy is it back there?  do i have goatee coming out the hole?  are we talking dead of winter sweater hair growth or summer knit hair growth?  who cares if there is hair?  nobody sees this area of me, why do i have to remove it?  in the spirit of the experience i flip over and spread 'em.  ladies and gentlemen this was a piece of cake.  the position was way more intrusive than the removal of the hair.

i am no worse for the wear, a little less hairy and a pound lighter from my sweat impression on the table, but i survived.  i am told that the maintenance isn't nearly as bad as the initial, which i am scheduled for next month, so there might be a follow up.  (insert cheeky wink)

in case you want to know more about sugaring, you know besides my own experience, here is a link that explains what it actually is.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-sugaring-hair-removal.htm