1,000 atta girls...

i broke my own rule this morning.  i am not feeling good about it, but i can't take it back.

outside of three piercings in each ear and two scars from stitches, i have never intentionally marred my skin permanently.  i don't have any ink tattoos.  i have never used a razor blade and cut my skin.  i don't have any other piercings on my body.  i have never purposely burned my skin with a cattle prod or cigarette.  i have never been whipped to the point of blood, but i do bear scars.

i have said this before, but it is worth repeating...

choose your words carefully because you are essentially tattooing someone's brain with your message. 

i did not do this.  i got caught up in the moment.  i physically stopped my car so i could turn and pummel my daughter with my words.  at that moment i needed her to understand me, hear me and see my eyes.  watching her cower in her seat at my assault shook me to the core, but i didn't relent. i let her have it.  this is not a proud parenting moment, possibly one of my all time lows.

i am embarrassed and ashamed that i treated my daughter so horribly, but i had had enough.  enough of the disrespect and cavalier way she speaks to me.  however, this is not a reason to berate her.  i know that i have permanently tattooed her brain with my words and it is going to take 1,000 atta girls before those words will fade.