measuring my belief in God...

i don't know my books of the bible.  i can't recall bible verses.  i don't go to church every sunday.  i can't tell you the difference between prophets and disciples.  often times i read a verse and haven't a clue of how it is relevant to my life today.  there are times when i am reading a bible story to my kids and think to myself this seems so outrageous how can it be real?  am i less of a believer than someone who knows all these things? 

i don't have a bumper sticker on my car declaring my faith.  i don't have any article of clothing that proclaims my devotion.  i received a cross necklace when i was confirmed, but i rarely wear it, not because i am embarrassed or ashamed, i just don't wear jewelry like that on a regular basis.  is my place in heaven less secure than someone who displays their love for God freely? 

i think that there are two types of believers; the one who is private but steadfast in their faith and then the one that has to show those around them that they are a believer.  i don't believe that God cares how we go about worshiping Him, but i've got to wonder if he chuckles or hides his face in his hands at those who are so loud?  Probably not, because there isn't another who is as accepting.

so i am the first type.  i'm not concerned with how, why, when or who you choose to share God with, but i do care when you tell me how i should.  my relationship is private, it is between me and God and no one else.  i don't feel i have to prove my faithfulness to anyone to know God. 

there have been times when the "louder believer" has said something to me where i immediately feel like i am in a southern baptist church and need to shout, "Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!"  although i have never said this, it definitely runs through my mind and i have a mental chuckle about it. 

the most faithful person i know has never said, "you should pray about it" although i am pretty sure she thinks it.  she hasn't ever chastised me when i am missing from our pew on sunday.  she always answers my stupid questions about religion without laughing at me and encourages growth without shoving it down my throat.  oh how i appreciate her.

for some reason i want to recite the Apostle's Creed.  i'm not acutally going to tap it out, but in case you were wondering i did say it in my head.   is there a right or wrong way?  i don't think so.  i am pretty sure that when i finally make my way to heaven, yes i am going and boy i hope i've got many more years on this earth with the ones i love, there isn't going to be a measuring stick with least faithful to most faithful.  i am comfortable with my relationship with God and i am pretty positive He knows me.