just me...

i am wanting to tell my story. 

two years ago i turned my life upside down.  i was terrified of what was to come and how i was going to make it.  here i was a 33 year old woman with two kids and a cat.  i was leaving my gorgeous 3200 sq. ft. custom built rambler with $300.00 in my pocket and no job.  i loaded my 4Runner with everything i could fit in it and headed to my refuge for the next year, mom's house.  thank heavens for family. 

this isn't how my story starts.  during the first couple of months after i left my life i started writing.  i had this need to remind myself of why i seeking a divorce.  it didn't take too long and i had scribbled out about 60 pages of my married life.  i had to stop writing because it was just so sad.  i was ashamed, embarrassed and in awe of who i had become.  throughout the divorce process i frequently reviewed my words, cried, and then trudged forward.

even this isn't how my story starts.  i suppose to get a good idea of who i am i have to start from the beginning.  i was born april 11, 1976 in a navy hospital in illinois.  i am the first of two children born to michael and lynda.  when i was four we moved from the midwest to washington where i have been ever since.

wait maybe this goes back too far.  see, this is hard.  i suppose it is because i am not sure exactly what part of my story i want to share.  or exactly what type of format i would like it to be in.  or when it's all said and done will i ever be brave enough to actually share it with someone else. 

maybe someday you will pick up a story about a vibrant young woman who loses herself in motherhood and marriage.  somehow finds a narrow crack to escape the entrapment of her life and rediscovers her true self.  this story has been told many times over and really who am i to think that anyone even cares? 

maybe someday....