whatever gandhi...

just to be clear, i have absolutely no issues with the actual gandhi.  he was a remarkable man.  i do however, have issues with gandhi want-to-be's.

one more disclaimer before i go any farther.  i understand that i put a lot of personal stuff out there to be judged and scrutinized.  i do it willingly, nobody forces to me to share.  however, something you should bear in mind, if you choose to read this, part of my personality, and some may say charm, is that i have a decent sense of humor and have zero problems poking fun at myself.  it doesn't necessarily mean i think poorly of myself.

alright, let's get on with it.  i recently posted a story about my winter butt and my skirt lining ripping.  in that same story, i shared a time when my nylons busted in the butt, and how my recent trip to portland involved a blow out of epic proportions.  the sole purpose of all three stories was to share that life is funny.  silly, unexpected, and sometimes embarrassing things happen everyday.  i choose to share those moments with whoever because they make me laugh and maybe someone else will find humor in them too.  finding a moment of humor in an over serious world is priceless to me.

the purpose was by no means a plea for help to cure my winter butt.  i know damn well what i need to do, i simply haven't made it a priority and i have 8,000 excuses why: it's dark, it's raining, i'm tired, i'm bored, i'm too busy, it's too hard, i am a single mom, i work, i'm too full, the list really goes on for miles.  confession: for about 4 months out of every year, i actively work on my winter protective layer.  i don't exercise much, i eat a little more than i should at all the wrong times, and guess what, i complain the whole entire 4 months about it.

the other morning, i received a private message asking "how are you going to fix the "winter butt"?"  i briefly explained that i will start running again soon, once there is more daylight hours.  my answer was met with a few other questions, which i politely answered, then came, "how hard would it be to change your mindset so when daylight savings begins you are better prepared for running?" which i replied, "not terribly hard" and then this "would it be worth it to step out of your comfort zone to do something different about your "winter butt"

it was at this point that i started feeling a little heat under my collar.  here's why.  i don't know this person.  i have never asked for advice on how to change my mindset or how to fix my winter butt from this individual or anyone else.  if i had been at a counselor's office, with a fitness trainer, specifically soliciting advice, or even gabbing with my girlfriends this message, most likely, would have been received differently, but none of the aforementioned are applicable.

i will admit that i attempted to stay calm in my responses but i lost it and became very defensive.  i was so put off by this complete stranger, who only "knows" me virtually, found it appropriate to interject themselves in a perceived personal struggle. which brings me to the question i have been pondering since this interaction, "when is it okay to push your beliefs, ideas, and encouragement on someone else?"

i am inclined to say that unless you have been asked it's not your place.  however, there are exceptions to this.  we rely on our close friends and family to smack us in the heads when we are being utterly dumb. usually the smack comes without warning and is therefore unsolicited, but we expect our close knits to be looking out for us.  there are times when we seek out advice from strangers (motivational speakers, community leaders, religious figures, etc.) however the difference, in my opinion, is that the information was sought out, it didn't show up, specifically targeted, in your inbox.  maybe my thinking is way off, it wouldn't be the first time, but the message rubbed me all the wrong ways regardless.

i am going to leave you with this, men regardless of how much a woman asks or complains about their weight, don't ever offer advice.  if you don't believe me, watch this: rachel and ross giving chandler some dating advice.

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