put the fork down
put your tennis shoes on
get your butt moving
so my winter butt struck again this morning. just last month, i split the my jeans, basically in half, trying to stretch them out a bit. i kept this breezy pair of jeans, i'm not really sure why, but i might find some use for them. i could pin them up somewhere, maybe on the outside of my fridge or hanging in the entrance to my kitchen, as a visual reminder.
this wasn't the first time i had split the butt of my pants. a few years back, i was dressed for work in a skirt, gray fishnet stockings, and some sort of top. it's been a few years, i can't remember exactly what i was wearing. anyhow, while i was getting dressed that morning, my stockings got caught in the zipper. i untangled my stockings and carried on. that afternoon, yes after stuffing my belly with some sort of food, i sat down in my chair and the entire butt blew out of my stockings. are you ready for the visual? stockings with intact legs and waistband and my rear blasted through the netting. it wasn't pretty and it felt very strange. sigh.
before i get into today's winter butt attack, i should tell you i stuffed myself with pot roast and gravy last night. it was so good, i must've had five servings. that is not an exaggeration. it was frick fracking good. when i finally got into my cozies my son looked at me and said, "mom are you pregnant?" i looked down at my protruding belly and said, "no, that's my food baby."
i'm telling you dinner was amazing!! thankfully that food baby digested and was gone before i poured my cup of coffee, but that food baby went straight to my butt. yes, it migrated from my front to my back. you don't believe me, well keep reading.
i am wearing a super cute black mac & jac somewhat fitted skirt today. it's fitted over the rump and then does a little a-line thing to the knee. i've had this skirt for a few years and have logged quite a few hours in it. i bring this up, because maybe it is just a tired skirt, showing the natural aging signs and my mishap isn't because of my winter butt...maybe.
everything was going great until i sat down. that's when i heard a sound that i'm becoming familiar with, but never want to hear. the sound is undeniable and unmistakable. ripping fabric can't be confused with anything else. after a quick swipe of the back of my skirt, which revealed nothing, i forgot about it, that is until i got to work.
i got to my desk and got right into my morning routine: hang up my coat and umbrella, set my purse down, bent over to turn the power switch on my computer, then sat down in my rolly swivel chair. this is where the mishap really happened. i sat down with a little bounce, i had a good morning, and there it was riiiiip!
oh crap!
i quickly stood up and ran both hands down the back of my skirt. again there was no tear, rip, or any other sign of a problem. i sucked in my belly and swirled the skirt around so i could see the back and still nothing. what the heck? swirl the skirt back around and sit. riiiip! i bolted out of my chair and headed straight for the bathroom.
in the bathroom, i hiked my skirt up to inspect my stockings. funny coincidence, i'm in fishnets today, but they are in great shape and hole free. so what is the deal? i put my skirt back down and flip the hem up. the front looked great, so again i swirled the skirt around, and there it was, the rip. the entire lining of my skirt split up the back.
winter butt or tired skirt? you decide.
before i get into today's winter butt attack, i should tell you i stuffed myself with pot roast and gravy last night. it was so good, i must've had five servings. that is not an exaggeration. it was frick fracking good. when i finally got into my cozies my son looked at me and said, "mom are you pregnant?" i looked down at my protruding belly and said, "no, that's my food baby."
 |
| sadly, i'm not pushing my belly out :( |
i'm telling you dinner was amazing!! thankfully that food baby digested and was gone before i poured my cup of coffee, but that food baby went straight to my butt. yes, it migrated from my front to my back. you don't believe me, well keep reading.
i am wearing a super cute black mac & jac somewhat fitted skirt today. it's fitted over the rump and then does a little a-line thing to the knee. i've had this skirt for a few years and have logged quite a few hours in it. i bring this up, because maybe it is just a tired skirt, showing the natural aging signs and my mishap isn't because of my winter butt...maybe.
everything was going great until i sat down. that's when i heard a sound that i'm becoming familiar with, but never want to hear. the sound is undeniable and unmistakable. ripping fabric can't be confused with anything else. after a quick swipe of the back of my skirt, which revealed nothing, i forgot about it, that is until i got to work.
i got to my desk and got right into my morning routine: hang up my coat and umbrella, set my purse down, bent over to turn the power switch on my computer, then sat down in my rolly swivel chair. this is where the mishap really happened. i sat down with a little bounce, i had a good morning, and there it was riiiiip!
oh crap!
i quickly stood up and ran both hands down the back of my skirt. again there was no tear, rip, or any other sign of a problem. i sucked in my belly and swirled the skirt around so i could see the back and still nothing. what the heck? swirl the skirt back around and sit. riiiip! i bolted out of my chair and headed straight for the bathroom.
in the bathroom, i hiked my skirt up to inspect my stockings. funny coincidence, i'm in fishnets today, but they are in great shape and hole free. so what is the deal? i put my skirt back down and flip the hem up. the front looked great, so again i swirled the skirt around, and there it was, the rip. the entire lining of my skirt split up the back.
winter butt or tired skirt? you decide.
1 comment:
1]if a skirt is made with 10 stitch's per 1'' then it's the butt. 2]if it is winter butt consider as spring & summer come on a person is naturally thirsty & they met that 6 glass requirement of water or more. p.s.-at the beginning of last summer I had wanted to lose weight simply to spend less. i was 186 + pounds in 4/13 & by 9/13 i was 160 + pounds. all i did was increase fluid intake.
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