you've purchased the test and raced home. as you are walking through the house you are dropping your purse and keys. you've kicked off your shoes the left and then the right. you have already started unzipping your jeans. you've gnashed open the cellophane with your teeth and ripped the box open like a unleashed beast taking just the stick while the box lies in pieces on the floor. you lift the toilet seat, yank the protective plastic shield off with your teeth and pull your panties down in one swift move. before you've even sat completely down a golden stream starts flowing. you reach between your legs, saturate the extra absorbent end of the stick, replace the plastic shield and then wait.
three minutes flies by when you are talking to your best friend on the phone. but lord almighty three minutes seems like 82 years when you are perched on the toilet seat waiting to see a positive or negative sign. just for the record i am not pregnant or even thinking i might be pregnant. that would mean i would have had to have sex with someone (other than myself) and well that hasn't happened since october.
what is it about waiting that time seems to creep along? waiting is like an itch in the middle of my back that i just can't reach. it drives me completely batshit crazy. i always thought that as you aged, you know gained more wisdom, that you would naturally become more patient. man was i wrong.
it doesn't seem to matter what you are waiting on; the results of a pregnancy test, the phone call saying you got the job, math class to end, the red light to change to green, or your keurig to finish brewing your coffee, it can seem painfully long.
i don't know about you, but if what you are waiting on is something you really are hoping for it seems to take extra long. say you are late for work and sitting at a red light. you look at the light, then the clock in your dashboard, then to the lights operating the other traffic, then back at your clock, then back at the red light. i swear sometimes there are two clocks because the clock in my dashboard seems to be operating in hyper warp speed but the clock that tells the light to change seems to need new batteries because it is stuck.
waiting can drive a person nuts, but i keep trying to remind myself it isn't taking longer, nor is it going to be quicker by dwelling. it just is.
2 comments:
The only things I wait on these days is a call from my daughter, the time clock to hit 11:30pm, 24 years until retirement, and the crock pot to heat my weekly batch of homemade chili to 165 degrees. I let everything else come as it may.
vespa dan, do you teach a class on how to let things come as they may?
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