do you remember the line from Pretty Woman, "NO kissing, it's too personal."? when i first saw this movie that line didn't make any sense to my young mind. i kissed my mom, my dad and even my sister sometimes there wasn't anything too personal about it. at that time in my youth i imagined that sex was far more personal.
i think we all remember our first real kiss. you know the one where your mouth is open and you use your tongue. well i am sure the fella who was attempting to open mouth kiss me was just as surprised as i was by the outcome. i was a sophmore and i had had a crush on this fella for quite sometime. i obviously knew that french kissing was supposed to happen, but for some reason i wasn't expecting it. he was leaving my home and he went to kiss me. when his tongue entered my mouth it took me completely by surprise and i bit his tongue. oh my word i can't believe that i did that or that i am sharing it, but it was simply a reaction. needless to say it was a couple years later and a little alcohol involved before he tried again, i didn't bite him this time.
my first experience was memorable but left me with a bad taste in my mouth. honestly the whole thing just grossed me out. i wanted to know when the last time he brushed. i wanted to ask can you swallow all the saliva in your mouth before you put your tongue in mine because i don't want any extra fluid. obviously i didn't ask any of these questions, but they were always in the back of my mind when kissing a boy presented itself.
several years later i found myself in a relationship that would ulitmately end in marriage. i was still leary about kissing and those same thoughts were still in the back of my mind, which is probably why my ex and i weren't the kind who made out. in fact we were never that lovey dovey with each other. maybe our relationship would've turned out different if we had had that physical connection? this is a question, a thought, an idea that will never be answered.
fast forward a few years to my relationship with matt. we had talked for several weeks before we actually met. i had felt a connection to him sight unseen. i couldn't wait to meet him in person and strangely enough i really wanted to kiss him. well kissing matt is, for lack of a better word, magical. i know that sounds cheesy, but it is. when our lips meet my body feels like it is melting. i could kiss him everyday for the rest of my life and still not be satisfied. it is amazing.
i finally understand those five words, "no kissing, it's too personal".
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