we met on-line. gag, right?! yep that is exactly how i felt. i was weary of meeting someone this way, but when you are a single, full-time mom with a job, how do you meet someone? i had no idea. so i plunged into the world of online dating. i quickly found out that it is a super crazy world!! even though i was on there, i just didn't trust these people. i like a more organic way of meeting someone. you know meeting someone out and about in person? that just wasn't happening in my limited exposure to the world.
on the dating site where i met matt, you can "cyber flirt" by clicking this button to "wink" at someone. ok i think this is totally stupid. if you are perusing profiles and someone peaks your interest just tell them so with an email why waste your time winking? when someone would wink at me i would just pass them by, hit delete without looking any further into who they are.
however, i got a wink from a cute guy. now when you are online dating, physical appearance is at the top of the criteria list. if a fella doesn't create some sort of spark then you should just move on. so this cute guy winks at me. i broke my own rules and checked out his profile. i was even more intrigued by him, i loved what he had to say about himself and what he was looking for. so i sent him an email "i hate the wink, if you have something to say to me you should say it." ok ok i know that was kind of rude, but i really don't like the wink. funny enough this didn't scare him off. we started emailing and you know how the story continues.
this initial interaction is often brought up when we are together. the other night, after dinner and a walk i was taking off my shoes and matt winked at me.
me: i love a real wink
matt: well thank goodness for "the wink"
me: you are lucky you are cute
matt: i am lucky you are blind
every now and then i send him a text that simply says *wink*.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
olive juice...
there are many different ways to tell someone you love them; different languages, using symbols, sign language, and mouthing words that look like i love you but in actuality you are saying something completely different. there also seems to be rules on when you tell someone this for the first time. i don't what they are and honestly i don't care because most of the time i just do what feels right.
when it comes to my parents, my sis, my friends (guys or gals) and my kids telling them i love you isn't a big deal. there isn't anything taboo about it, i say it because i mean it. i tell these people in my life as often as i can. so i wonder why there is such a stigma about telling someone new in your life those same three words?
for the past several weeks matt has been mouthing "olive juice" to me. the first time caught me completely off guard and i asked him to repeat himself. he then said it out loud and i grinned at him. he writes "i <3 u" on my perpetually dirty car any chance he can. if we happen to be following each, via car, he gives me the sign language sign out his truck window. i love the many different forms of adoration he shares. i share my adoration with him in just as many forms, but when those 3 words escaped my mouth we were both surprised.
a few days ago after a spirited wrestling match, which he won, i was giggling at his hair. now matt almost always has a cap on so i don't see all his hair often, but he has longish hair. it is brown with natural curl, not super curly just wavy. anyway, during the tousle his cap was off and his hair was all crazy. he says are you laughing at my hair? which i replied through my giggles, i'm not laughing at your hair. he quickly retorted oh so you are just laughing at me? without any thought to my answer i said i'm not laughing at you, i love you.
there it was. the words floated through the air and seemed to hover over the top of us. the playful mood that we were enveloped in dissipated instantly. he looked deep into my eyes and asked do you? just as i was going to answer him there was a bunch of ruckus outside. he got up to go check it out leaving me with an opportunity to figure out how i was going to answer.
do i really love him? i quickly mulled this question over. yes, there are tons of things that i love about him; his honesty, integrity, ethics and morals, his goofy free spirited nature, his impossible love for his boys, oh the list could go on and on. i absolutely love how he makes me feel, it is an incredible sense of security, peace and acceptance. i kept coming up with yes. yes i do love him.
he returned after a few moments and the moment had obviously passed, but i still wanted to answer him and simply said, yes. he looked at me quizzically. it's my answer to the question you asked before checking on the ruckus. he smiled knowingly at me and kissed me passionately. i don't remember exactly what we got tangled up in after that exchange, but about 30 minutes later he said randomly, i do too. i knew exactly what he was referring to and kissed him.
the exchange i love you hasn't happened in a direct way, but i am positive it will happen soon. however, i love all the others ways that we share our love with each other and don't want to give those up to use the traditional version. the use of hearts, sign language, and whatever else is refreshing and keeps our relationship fun and youthful. i feel like a little girl who is swept up in the all consuming excitement of my first love.
so if you are ever around us and hear olive juice, you will understand.
when it comes to my parents, my sis, my friends (guys or gals) and my kids telling them i love you isn't a big deal. there isn't anything taboo about it, i say it because i mean it. i tell these people in my life as often as i can. so i wonder why there is such a stigma about telling someone new in your life those same three words?
for the past several weeks matt has been mouthing "olive juice" to me. the first time caught me completely off guard and i asked him to repeat himself. he then said it out loud and i grinned at him. he writes "i <3 u" on my perpetually dirty car any chance he can. if we happen to be following each, via car, he gives me the sign language sign out his truck window. i love the many different forms of adoration he shares. i share my adoration with him in just as many forms, but when those 3 words escaped my mouth we were both surprised.
a few days ago after a spirited wrestling match, which he won, i was giggling at his hair. now matt almost always has a cap on so i don't see all his hair often, but he has longish hair. it is brown with natural curl, not super curly just wavy. anyway, during the tousle his cap was off and his hair was all crazy. he says are you laughing at my hair? which i replied through my giggles, i'm not laughing at your hair. he quickly retorted oh so you are just laughing at me? without any thought to my answer i said i'm not laughing at you, i love you.
there it was. the words floated through the air and seemed to hover over the top of us. the playful mood that we were enveloped in dissipated instantly. he looked deep into my eyes and asked do you? just as i was going to answer him there was a bunch of ruckus outside. he got up to go check it out leaving me with an opportunity to figure out how i was going to answer.
do i really love him? i quickly mulled this question over. yes, there are tons of things that i love about him; his honesty, integrity, ethics and morals, his goofy free spirited nature, his impossible love for his boys, oh the list could go on and on. i absolutely love how he makes me feel, it is an incredible sense of security, peace and acceptance. i kept coming up with yes. yes i do love him.
he returned after a few moments and the moment had obviously passed, but i still wanted to answer him and simply said, yes. he looked at me quizzically. it's my answer to the question you asked before checking on the ruckus. he smiled knowingly at me and kissed me passionately. i don't remember exactly what we got tangled up in after that exchange, but about 30 minutes later he said randomly, i do too. i knew exactly what he was referring to and kissed him.
the exchange i love you hasn't happened in a direct way, but i am positive it will happen soon. however, i love all the others ways that we share our love with each other and don't want to give those up to use the traditional version. the use of hearts, sign language, and whatever else is refreshing and keeps our relationship fun and youthful. i feel like a little girl who is swept up in the all consuming excitement of my first love.
so if you are ever around us and hear olive juice, you will understand.
will you be my +1?
recently i opened my mail box and inside was a thick, cream with an iridescent sheen envelope penned with an elegant script. there are only a few things that come in the mail that make me smile; unsolicited cards, a refund check and my netflix movies. this beautifully crafted piece of stationery definitely brought a smile to my face.
a wedding invitation. for a single girl this can be a scary envelope to see in your mail box. the response card seems to jump out of the invitation laughing in your face. the number attending with a blank after taunts you who are you going to ask?? i am not sure if every single girl, or guy for that matter, contemplates this line the way i do.
six months ago receiving this invitation would've totally stressed me out. i am not a girl who is just going to bring a random person as my guest to a wedding. to me bringing a "date", really it is more introducing a new man to my circle of friends, is a big deal. i have yet to introduce a man to my friends or family, but for the first time in my 2 years of being a single gal i am excited and more than ready to show off and share the man in my life.
even though i am ready, i hesitated asking matt about being my +1. this seems silly now, but i waited a whole week before asking. i came up with all different ways of asking and imagined all the different responses he would give me. why the hesitation you ask? well, it is simple...fear. fear that i think our relationship is more than what it is and fear of rejection. i didn't want him to say ummm sorry heather, but no.
after a week of playing out every scenario i asked him standing in line at Carl's Jr. burgers. i popped the question after we had talked about me attending another event solo. of course i will go. when is it? phew that was exactly the answer i wanted to hear. funny how easy that was. this spurred a whole flurry of i have this coming up do you want to go questions, my answer was i want to do everything with you.
that afternoon, sitting in a booth at a fast food chain restaurant, our relationship changed. i wasn't expecting it and i certainly didn't imagine that would be the venue, but it didn't matter. our connection and commitment to each other intensified. the whole restaurant seemed to disappear and it was just the two of us sharing a moment. then our moment ended and it was time to go. it was hard to watch him drive away.
for the first time in a long time i am saying let me check with matt. i am loving it. there are still many unknowns and logistics to figure out, but those variables aren't as daunting with my +1 by my side.
a wedding invitation. for a single girl this can be a scary envelope to see in your mail box. the response card seems to jump out of the invitation laughing in your face. the number attending with a blank after taunts you who are you going to ask?? i am not sure if every single girl, or guy for that matter, contemplates this line the way i do.
six months ago receiving this invitation would've totally stressed me out. i am not a girl who is just going to bring a random person as my guest to a wedding. to me bringing a "date", really it is more introducing a new man to my circle of friends, is a big deal. i have yet to introduce a man to my friends or family, but for the first time in my 2 years of being a single gal i am excited and more than ready to show off and share the man in my life.
even though i am ready, i hesitated asking matt about being my +1. this seems silly now, but i waited a whole week before asking. i came up with all different ways of asking and imagined all the different responses he would give me. why the hesitation you ask? well, it is simple...fear. fear that i think our relationship is more than what it is and fear of rejection. i didn't want him to say ummm sorry heather, but no.
after a week of playing out every scenario i asked him standing in line at Carl's Jr. burgers. i popped the question after we had talked about me attending another event solo. of course i will go. when is it? phew that was exactly the answer i wanted to hear. funny how easy that was. this spurred a whole flurry of i have this coming up do you want to go questions, my answer was i want to do everything with you.
that afternoon, sitting in a booth at a fast food chain restaurant, our relationship changed. i wasn't expecting it and i certainly didn't imagine that would be the venue, but it didn't matter. our connection and commitment to each other intensified. the whole restaurant seemed to disappear and it was just the two of us sharing a moment. then our moment ended and it was time to go. it was hard to watch him drive away.
for the first time in a long time i am saying let me check with matt. i am loving it. there are still many unknowns and logistics to figure out, but those variables aren't as daunting with my +1 by my side.
Friday, June 17, 2011
today i got married....
today i got married. like most little girls, i had dreamed of this day in my life. looking back i wonder why i didn't pay more attention to myself. i knew the day that i got married, that i wasn't marrying my "dream man". we were and still are very different from each other. i wasn't madly in love with him, but i was content. we had been dating for almost six years, i felt like i knew what i was getting in to and it would be enough for me.
i didn't shave my legs on my wedding day. it wasn't for lack of tools, i had my razor in hand. i even picked up the shaving cream and put some on my hand ready to lather my leg. i wanted to be the epitome of the perfect bride, but just as i went to apply the shaving cream my internal dialogue kicked in he won't notice if your legs are smooth or prickly. i watched the shaving cream disappear down the drain and knew i wouldn't be the wife that is reminded of their importance or beauty, our relationship hadn't ever been that way. i knew it wasn't going to change but i really did think that i would stay content. so instead of walking down that aisle glowing with the smoothest most hydrated legs ever seen on a bride, i had a two day old hair forest that itched and stuck to the layers of crinoline that made up my dress.
today i would've been celebrating 11 years of marriage. this was not a day that my ex and i celebrated jointly. for the first 8 years of our marriage i made a point to give him a card or some sort of trinket to commemorate our marriage. on the 9th year i completely forgot it was my anniversary. i remember getting a text from my husband, "do you know what today is?" i replied, "yeah, the kids and i are going camping with the girls." he said, "it's our anniversary." i don't recall responding to his message i felt like a schmuck that i hadn't remembered, but i still went camping.
our anniversary came on the heels of the one and only family vacation we took. this vacation was extremely eye opening on just how far apart my husband and i had become. there was something about being removed from my comfort zone, my environment, my daily distractions that spotlighted how very little my husband and i had to share. we didn't speak to each other much, we slept in different rooms, we spent most of our "family" vacation apart. i can honestly say that i didn't know at this time or even on my anniversary that i was going to take that next step to change my path, my future and my happiness in one month's time.
today i am reflecting. reflecting on my wedding, my marriage, and how the last two years have been. i sit today with mixed emotions. the emotions have actually taken me by surprise. obviously this day will always have some significance but will this day always be emotional for me? i will for sure find out in the years to come.
i didn't shave my legs on my wedding day. it wasn't for lack of tools, i had my razor in hand. i even picked up the shaving cream and put some on my hand ready to lather my leg. i wanted to be the epitome of the perfect bride, but just as i went to apply the shaving cream my internal dialogue kicked in he won't notice if your legs are smooth or prickly. i watched the shaving cream disappear down the drain and knew i wouldn't be the wife that is reminded of their importance or beauty, our relationship hadn't ever been that way. i knew it wasn't going to change but i really did think that i would stay content. so instead of walking down that aisle glowing with the smoothest most hydrated legs ever seen on a bride, i had a two day old hair forest that itched and stuck to the layers of crinoline that made up my dress.
today i would've been celebrating 11 years of marriage. this was not a day that my ex and i celebrated jointly. for the first 8 years of our marriage i made a point to give him a card or some sort of trinket to commemorate our marriage. on the 9th year i completely forgot it was my anniversary. i remember getting a text from my husband, "do you know what today is?" i replied, "yeah, the kids and i are going camping with the girls." he said, "it's our anniversary." i don't recall responding to his message i felt like a schmuck that i hadn't remembered, but i still went camping.
our anniversary came on the heels of the one and only family vacation we took. this vacation was extremely eye opening on just how far apart my husband and i had become. there was something about being removed from my comfort zone, my environment, my daily distractions that spotlighted how very little my husband and i had to share. we didn't speak to each other much, we slept in different rooms, we spent most of our "family" vacation apart. i can honestly say that i didn't know at this time or even on my anniversary that i was going to take that next step to change my path, my future and my happiness in one month's time.
today i am reflecting. reflecting on my wedding, my marriage, and how the last two years have been. i sit today with mixed emotions. the emotions have actually taken me by surprise. obviously this day will always have some significance but will this day always be emotional for me? i will for sure find out in the years to come.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
to share a kiss...
do you remember the line from Pretty Woman, "NO kissing, it's too personal."? when i first saw this movie that line didn't make any sense to my young mind. i kissed my mom, my dad and even my sister sometimes there wasn't anything too personal about it. at that time in my youth i imagined that sex was far more personal.
i think we all remember our first real kiss. you know the one where your mouth is open and you use your tongue. well i am sure the fella who was attempting to open mouth kiss me was just as surprised as i was by the outcome. i was a sophmore and i had had a crush on this fella for quite sometime. i obviously knew that french kissing was supposed to happen, but for some reason i wasn't expecting it. he was leaving my home and he went to kiss me. when his tongue entered my mouth it took me completely by surprise and i bit his tongue. oh my word i can't believe that i did that or that i am sharing it, but it was simply a reaction. needless to say it was a couple years later and a little alcohol involved before he tried again, i didn't bite him this time.
my first experience was memorable but left me with a bad taste in my mouth. honestly the whole thing just grossed me out. i wanted to know when the last time he brushed. i wanted to ask can you swallow all the saliva in your mouth before you put your tongue in mine because i don't want any extra fluid. obviously i didn't ask any of these questions, but they were always in the back of my mind when kissing a boy presented itself.
several years later i found myself in a relationship that would ulitmately end in marriage. i was still leary about kissing and those same thoughts were still in the back of my mind, which is probably why my ex and i weren't the kind who made out. in fact we were never that lovey dovey with each other. maybe our relationship would've turned out different if we had had that physical connection? this is a question, a thought, an idea that will never be answered.
fast forward a few years to my relationship with matt. we had talked for several weeks before we actually met. i had felt a connection to him sight unseen. i couldn't wait to meet him in person and strangely enough i really wanted to kiss him. well kissing matt is, for lack of a better word, magical. i know that sounds cheesy, but it is. when our lips meet my body feels like it is melting. i could kiss him everyday for the rest of my life and still not be satisfied. it is amazing.
i finally understand those five words, "no kissing, it's too personal".
i think we all remember our first real kiss. you know the one where your mouth is open and you use your tongue. well i am sure the fella who was attempting to open mouth kiss me was just as surprised as i was by the outcome. i was a sophmore and i had had a crush on this fella for quite sometime. i obviously knew that french kissing was supposed to happen, but for some reason i wasn't expecting it. he was leaving my home and he went to kiss me. when his tongue entered my mouth it took me completely by surprise and i bit his tongue. oh my word i can't believe that i did that or that i am sharing it, but it was simply a reaction. needless to say it was a couple years later and a little alcohol involved before he tried again, i didn't bite him this time.
my first experience was memorable but left me with a bad taste in my mouth. honestly the whole thing just grossed me out. i wanted to know when the last time he brushed. i wanted to ask can you swallow all the saliva in your mouth before you put your tongue in mine because i don't want any extra fluid. obviously i didn't ask any of these questions, but they were always in the back of my mind when kissing a boy presented itself.
several years later i found myself in a relationship that would ulitmately end in marriage. i was still leary about kissing and those same thoughts were still in the back of my mind, which is probably why my ex and i weren't the kind who made out. in fact we were never that lovey dovey with each other. maybe our relationship would've turned out different if we had had that physical connection? this is a question, a thought, an idea that will never be answered.
fast forward a few years to my relationship with matt. we had talked for several weeks before we actually met. i had felt a connection to him sight unseen. i couldn't wait to meet him in person and strangely enough i really wanted to kiss him. well kissing matt is, for lack of a better word, magical. i know that sounds cheesy, but it is. when our lips meet my body feels like it is melting. i could kiss him everyday for the rest of my life and still not be satisfied. it is amazing.
i finally understand those five words, "no kissing, it's too personal".
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
the one?
how do you know when you have found the one?
it is easy to know when you haven't. i have met some very nice fellas but knew quickly that they weren't the one. in a previous post i had recapped some of my more memorable dates. as you found out i have shared meals and drinks with very nice fellas but there was always something missing from the equation. this is not to say that there was anything wrong with the fella just that what he had to offer and who he was didn't quite jive with what i have and who i am.
there have been two fellas that have stirred me at the core. that have spoken to me without words and touched my heart in a profound way. the first was J. i must say that i fell for him hard. the way he strung his words together through poetry and lyrics grabbed my attention in a way that nothing has before. his reality and my reality are worlds apart from each other. there isn't enough time on this earth for our worlds to meet in a permanent way. coming to grips with that was difficult but necessary. in the end i am able to be a friend to J and remember him fondly.
then there is matt. my journey with matt has been up and down, left and right but brutally honest. he is the first man i feel completely comfortable explaining exactly how something makes me feel and know that he isn't going to think i am being ridiculous, unreasonable or a complete idiot. i have never felt that type of security in a relationship before. it is refreshing and welcoming.
i think one of the things that i love most about him is he pays attention. in the few months that we have shared together he knows more about me than my ex of 15 years ever did. i find that astounding and flattering. matt knows all my favorite things and makes a point to include them. for instance when we went camping, he brought all my favorite snack foods. the table was a smorgasbord of heather's favorites. those little things warm my heart and show me that who i am is important to him.
he is always learning more about me. on our hike over this past weekend he thought it was funny that i wanted my little day pack with the water pouch and a snack. i get hungry and thirsty. we had talked the day before about going on an overnight hike/camp trip. i don't have a pack for that kind of thing so we are going to go shopping for one, but he said he wouldn't have thought about making sure there was a hydration system because it isn't something that he uses, wants or needs.
i am quickly falling for this sweet, thoughtful and caring man. is he the one? he very well could be. on our very first date back in March, which he remembers the exact date whereas i had to put it in my phone so i could remember, i thought to myself you have found a keeper heather. hang on this is going to be an exciting adventure. i find myself daydreaming about a more permanent life with him. i like where things are going with matt.
it is easy to know when you haven't. i have met some very nice fellas but knew quickly that they weren't the one. in a previous post i had recapped some of my more memorable dates. as you found out i have shared meals and drinks with very nice fellas but there was always something missing from the equation. this is not to say that there was anything wrong with the fella just that what he had to offer and who he was didn't quite jive with what i have and who i am.
there have been two fellas that have stirred me at the core. that have spoken to me without words and touched my heart in a profound way. the first was J. i must say that i fell for him hard. the way he strung his words together through poetry and lyrics grabbed my attention in a way that nothing has before. his reality and my reality are worlds apart from each other. there isn't enough time on this earth for our worlds to meet in a permanent way. coming to grips with that was difficult but necessary. in the end i am able to be a friend to J and remember him fondly.
then there is matt. my journey with matt has been up and down, left and right but brutally honest. he is the first man i feel completely comfortable explaining exactly how something makes me feel and know that he isn't going to think i am being ridiculous, unreasonable or a complete idiot. i have never felt that type of security in a relationship before. it is refreshing and welcoming.
i think one of the things that i love most about him is he pays attention. in the few months that we have shared together he knows more about me than my ex of 15 years ever did. i find that astounding and flattering. matt knows all my favorite things and makes a point to include them. for instance when we went camping, he brought all my favorite snack foods. the table was a smorgasbord of heather's favorites. those little things warm my heart and show me that who i am is important to him.
he is always learning more about me. on our hike over this past weekend he thought it was funny that i wanted my little day pack with the water pouch and a snack. i get hungry and thirsty. we had talked the day before about going on an overnight hike/camp trip. i don't have a pack for that kind of thing so we are going to go shopping for one, but he said he wouldn't have thought about making sure there was a hydration system because it isn't something that he uses, wants or needs.
i am quickly falling for this sweet, thoughtful and caring man. is he the one? he very well could be. on our very first date back in March, which he remembers the exact date whereas i had to put it in my phone so i could remember, i thought to myself you have found a keeper heather. hang on this is going to be an exciting adventure. i find myself daydreaming about a more permanent life with him. i like where things are going with matt.
Monday, June 6, 2011
definitely right...
i am completely useless as a lefty. i use my right hand primarily for everything. there is one task that i predominately use my left hand for and that is driving. arm propped on the window ledge and hand firmly grasping the steering wheel. when i use both hands, they tend to fight each other and then my car is shimming down the road. driving with my right just isn't as comfortable, so i use my left.
so over the weekend i went on a hike to heather lake with matt. the weather was perfect, my company was superb and the hike was incredible. neither of us had ever been there, so we got to experience the newness together. the trail was muddy, snowy and totally awesome. the lake itself was breathtaking. sometimes i feel so extremely blessed to live in such a beautiful part of the world, be able bodied enough to experience the wonders before me and grateful for the ability to share the experience with an incredible man who i am quickly falling for.
the ascent was problem free. i am slower than he is, but he is a boy and well enough said. besides i kind of like following him, i can admire his physique and goofball ways that make my smile wider. my lack of agility came in to play on the descent. i made it nimbly through all the snow, even slid down a hill like i was snowboarding. however, about half way down in the corner of switchback, i was watching matt jump off of something, which i will admit totally freaks me out because i am afraid he isn't going to land properly, but he does. i took my concentration off the trail blindly placed my right foot on a smooth surfaced wet rock and away my foot went without me. instinctively i tried to brace myself with my hands and ended up jamming my right hand into the rock and jarring my wrist. ouch!!
matt came back quickly concerned that i had seriously hurt myself and of course my i'm good just slipped pride kicked in. after making sure that i could move my wrist up and down and had full mobility of my fingers we continued our descent. well it wasn't long before the elegance of my wrist and the slenderness of my fingers turned into a giant swollen mess. my fingers were quickly turning into polish sausages, a large fluid filled bubble was forming and forget about definition in my wrist i had kanckles on my arm.
i can be a pretty tough girl when i need to be, which allowed me to continue the descent without shedding a tear. however i have a really hard time masking how i am feeling and matt can read me pretty well. so as we were crossing another stream, he stopped to assault a tree. i took the opportunity to park my rear, i was in quite a bit of pain but i wasn't going to complain. distracting myself i turned my attention to matt who was stripping a poor tree of its bark. obviously i asked him what he was doing you'll see. after stripping about 7 inches of bark with a lush green layer of moss, he soaked it in the stream and wrapped it around my wrist. i cannot begin to explain how exquisite that felt. so we continued on with my wonder woman bracelet of soaking wet ice cold moss. i looked like a complete idiot but heck it felt incredible and i was more concerned about the relief than my appearance. note to the ladies, always good to have a skilled mountain man in your presence.
come to find out completing the hike was the easy part. living alone as a lefty is proving to be an enormous challenge. i had to go to the store for some supplies. i was in desperate need of an ice pack, i'm sure mine is in a lunchbox somewhere. i needed a bottle of ibuprofen that i could open one handed because my skills do not allow me to push and twist with my left hand. i also needed a beer. hallelujah for an automatic and a large bag. if i didn't have those i wouldn't be able to drive or be able to carry my supplies from the store to my car.
back at home i ran into another hiccup. i did buy a six pack of beer but the beer i bought required the use of a bottle opener. after many failed attempts to secure the bottle i looked down at the floor. aha!! i secured the bottle between my feet, bent over to place the opener just right on the cap and with one quick flick of my uninjured wrist that cap was off. success! enjoying that first gulp i tried to envision how i was going to get ready in the morning.
there was no way i was going to be able to dry my hair and then use the flat iron, so a curly hair day was in my future. putting on make up seemed daunting. i envisioned skewering my eyeball with my eyeliner from the lack of coordination in my left hand. mascara, forget about it, i would end up with more mascara on my face rather than my lashes. things i didn't think about, clasping my bra seriously difficult without the use of both hands. rewrapping my wrist in the ace bandage that has become an accessory. putting deodorant in the left pit, can't find the correct angle.
well, my first hike with matt was definitely an experience i will never forget. despite my clumsiness i had a marvelous time. as far as my ineptness at being a lefty, i am sure in the days to come i will become very skilled in my everyday tasks. positive i won't be ambidextrous by the time i'm healed but i definitely have a greater appreciation for those who have to relearn skills using a non-dominant appendage.
so over the weekend i went on a hike to heather lake with matt. the weather was perfect, my company was superb and the hike was incredible. neither of us had ever been there, so we got to experience the newness together. the trail was muddy, snowy and totally awesome. the lake itself was breathtaking. sometimes i feel so extremely blessed to live in such a beautiful part of the world, be able bodied enough to experience the wonders before me and grateful for the ability to share the experience with an incredible man who i am quickly falling for.
the ascent was problem free. i am slower than he is, but he is a boy and well enough said. besides i kind of like following him, i can admire his physique and goofball ways that make my smile wider. my lack of agility came in to play on the descent. i made it nimbly through all the snow, even slid down a hill like i was snowboarding. however, about half way down in the corner of switchback, i was watching matt jump off of something, which i will admit totally freaks me out because i am afraid he isn't going to land properly, but he does. i took my concentration off the trail blindly placed my right foot on a smooth surfaced wet rock and away my foot went without me. instinctively i tried to brace myself with my hands and ended up jamming my right hand into the rock and jarring my wrist. ouch!!
matt came back quickly concerned that i had seriously hurt myself and of course my i'm good just slipped pride kicked in. after making sure that i could move my wrist up and down and had full mobility of my fingers we continued our descent. well it wasn't long before the elegance of my wrist and the slenderness of my fingers turned into a giant swollen mess. my fingers were quickly turning into polish sausages, a large fluid filled bubble was forming and forget about definition in my wrist i had kanckles on my arm.
i can be a pretty tough girl when i need to be, which allowed me to continue the descent without shedding a tear. however i have a really hard time masking how i am feeling and matt can read me pretty well. so as we were crossing another stream, he stopped to assault a tree. i took the opportunity to park my rear, i was in quite a bit of pain but i wasn't going to complain. distracting myself i turned my attention to matt who was stripping a poor tree of its bark. obviously i asked him what he was doing you'll see. after stripping about 7 inches of bark with a lush green layer of moss, he soaked it in the stream and wrapped it around my wrist. i cannot begin to explain how exquisite that felt. so we continued on with my wonder woman bracelet of soaking wet ice cold moss. i looked like a complete idiot but heck it felt incredible and i was more concerned about the relief than my appearance. note to the ladies, always good to have a skilled mountain man in your presence.
come to find out completing the hike was the easy part. living alone as a lefty is proving to be an enormous challenge. i had to go to the store for some supplies. i was in desperate need of an ice pack, i'm sure mine is in a lunchbox somewhere. i needed a bottle of ibuprofen that i could open one handed because my skills do not allow me to push and twist with my left hand. i also needed a beer. hallelujah for an automatic and a large bag. if i didn't have those i wouldn't be able to drive or be able to carry my supplies from the store to my car.
back at home i ran into another hiccup. i did buy a six pack of beer but the beer i bought required the use of a bottle opener. after many failed attempts to secure the bottle i looked down at the floor. aha!! i secured the bottle between my feet, bent over to place the opener just right on the cap and with one quick flick of my uninjured wrist that cap was off. success! enjoying that first gulp i tried to envision how i was going to get ready in the morning.
there was no way i was going to be able to dry my hair and then use the flat iron, so a curly hair day was in my future. putting on make up seemed daunting. i envisioned skewering my eyeball with my eyeliner from the lack of coordination in my left hand. mascara, forget about it, i would end up with more mascara on my face rather than my lashes. things i didn't think about, clasping my bra seriously difficult without the use of both hands. rewrapping my wrist in the ace bandage that has become an accessory. putting deodorant in the left pit, can't find the correct angle.
well, my first hike with matt was definitely an experience i will never forget. despite my clumsiness i had a marvelous time. as far as my ineptness at being a lefty, i am sure in the days to come i will become very skilled in my everyday tasks. positive i won't be ambidextrous by the time i'm healed but i definitely have a greater appreciation for those who have to relearn skills using a non-dominant appendage.
Friday, June 3, 2011
talent show....
i was in a talent show. once. i repeat once. i was in 6th grade at Hillcrest Elementary in Lake Stevens, WA. i entered with my girlfriends and we did a dance routine. angie would remember the whole thing, what song, how we danced, really the whole thing. i have conveniently blocked that out. i know that we didn't win, but i am positive we had a good time and we did our best.
i am not a girl who likes to be the center of attention. i would NEVER sing karaoke even though i love to sing and let me tell you i sing all the time. i don't even think i am half bad at it, but how does one really know if they are a decent singer if they never sing to other people? the thought of all those eyes on me, critiquing my performance makes me want to projectile vomit. i could however be a "doo-wop" girl. in fact this would be my dream job...back up singer. i am an excellent support person but i never view myself as the front woman.
so this morning was talent show try outs at school. i have held off on letting my daughter enter for the past couple of years. i know this is really mean, but she always decides the week of that she wants to participate. i suppose i just don't want her to be disappointed or fail because she hasn't practiced. so last year she asked me a couple of weeks before try outs and we made a deal. at the time we lived in lk. stevens and try outs are in the morning before school and the logistics just didn't work to get her there for her to fully participate. the deal, she had to really watch the show and see what people are doing and then practice all during the summer and school year so she would be ready. she held up her end of the bargain which meant i had to too.
we had one little snag. NO MUSIC. first of all i am partly to blame i have no idea how to get the music she wants without the artist singing. i am a complete idiot when it comes to this kind of stuff. P had also forgotten that she was going to need the music. so we, P and myself, exchanged words about postponing until next week for the next try out day or just going ahead without the music. she chose no music she was ready.
anyway, the whole way to school she was practicing with her little brother singing right next to her. moments like these, when my kiddos are enjoying each other with no competition, warm my heart. i wish they were like this all the time, but then they wouldn't be normal siblings.
P ended up going first. she had to sing into a microphone which she had never done and sheepishly asked, "can i turn away to get started?" the judge a good friend of mine said, "yes, but you will have to face the crowd for the real show." so P turned around facing the wall and began to sing. she was fantastic! i was so incredibly proud of her bravery. these are the moments that i live for as a mother.
we still haven't heard whether she made the show, but we are working on music and she continues to sing. rock on P!
i am not a girl who likes to be the center of attention. i would NEVER sing karaoke even though i love to sing and let me tell you i sing all the time. i don't even think i am half bad at it, but how does one really know if they are a decent singer if they never sing to other people? the thought of all those eyes on me, critiquing my performance makes me want to projectile vomit. i could however be a "doo-wop" girl. in fact this would be my dream job...back up singer. i am an excellent support person but i never view myself as the front woman.
so this morning was talent show try outs at school. i have held off on letting my daughter enter for the past couple of years. i know this is really mean, but she always decides the week of that she wants to participate. i suppose i just don't want her to be disappointed or fail because she hasn't practiced. so last year she asked me a couple of weeks before try outs and we made a deal. at the time we lived in lk. stevens and try outs are in the morning before school and the logistics just didn't work to get her there for her to fully participate. the deal, she had to really watch the show and see what people are doing and then practice all during the summer and school year so she would be ready. she held up her end of the bargain which meant i had to too.
we had one little snag. NO MUSIC. first of all i am partly to blame i have no idea how to get the music she wants without the artist singing. i am a complete idiot when it comes to this kind of stuff. P had also forgotten that she was going to need the music. so we, P and myself, exchanged words about postponing until next week for the next try out day or just going ahead without the music. she chose no music she was ready.
anyway, the whole way to school she was practicing with her little brother singing right next to her. moments like these, when my kiddos are enjoying each other with no competition, warm my heart. i wish they were like this all the time, but then they wouldn't be normal siblings.
P ended up going first. she had to sing into a microphone which she had never done and sheepishly asked, "can i turn away to get started?" the judge a good friend of mine said, "yes, but you will have to face the crowd for the real show." so P turned around facing the wall and began to sing. she was fantastic! i was so incredibly proud of her bravery. these are the moments that i live for as a mother.
we still haven't heard whether she made the show, but we are working on music and she continues to sing. rock on P!
welcome home...
whenever i see matt he says welcome home. who wouldn't melt hearing those words while being embraced? i do every time.
i love the phrases that are shared between couples that are specific to just them. they are special especially when coupled with physical touch. welcome home on a banner doesn't feel the same as welcome home in the arms of someone you care deeply about.
i have added those two sweet words into my fantasy life that plays out in my dream world. you have one of these right? well i do. i am married to mr. right, not mr. right now, but mr. right forever and we have the most amazing sex life. our kids never argue. there are always cookies in the cookie jar. the laundry is always done and put away. our home is happy and full of life. so yeah this is my fantasy obviously this can't ever happen the laundry is never done or put away.
my reality isn't quite as romantic. it is full of ups and downs, lefts and rights, starts and stops, but through it all i find grace, love, joy and happiness. i am always thankful for the moments i get to hear those sweet words welcome home. they will never get old.
i love the phrases that are shared between couples that are specific to just them. they are special especially when coupled with physical touch. welcome home on a banner doesn't feel the same as welcome home in the arms of someone you care deeply about.
i have added those two sweet words into my fantasy life that plays out in my dream world. you have one of these right? well i do. i am married to mr. right, not mr. right now, but mr. right forever and we have the most amazing sex life. our kids never argue. there are always cookies in the cookie jar. the laundry is always done and put away. our home is happy and full of life. so yeah this is my fantasy obviously this can't ever happen the laundry is never done or put away.
my reality isn't quite as romantic. it is full of ups and downs, lefts and rights, starts and stops, but through it all i find grace, love, joy and happiness. i am always thankful for the moments i get to hear those sweet words welcome home. they will never get old.
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