somedays to todays....

someday. 

this is a word i find myself saying a lot, i mean a lot. 

someday i will move to a different place.

someday i will be able to take my kids to disneyland.

someday i will get a new car.

someday i will be in shape.
someday i will have long hair.
someday...

the list is endless.  my dream land is full of "somedays"

so how do you make somedays into todays? 

for some this is really easy.  there is a group of people that are "go-getters".  when a go-getter wants something they do everything they can to make that dream come to fruition.  the go-getter sets goals, puts together a plan of action, and then proceeds to accomplish what they set out.   i truly admire this type of person, mostly because i am not this person.

i don't know if there is anything that i have ever really wanted badly enough to do everything in my power to get it.  i seriously lack that inner drive that pushes me to excel.  i tend to take a backseat in the push the forward.  i do have an opinion, aspirations and desires, no shocker there, but there seems to be a disconnect on how to achieve them.

sometimes i wonder why i don't have that?  birth order should have instilled this drive in me...aren't most first borns type a's?  well nature made a mistake because my younger sister got this trait.  i suppose i have some of the traits of a type a; competitiveness, that's probably the only one.  i am competitive to a point, but it isn't the end of the world if i don't win.  don't get me wrong i don't particularly care to lose, but i am not a in the business of killing myself to win.

although i can be rather complacent in achieving things, there is a plus side.  i tend to work well with the go-getter.  i am a fabulous support person, behind the scenes gal, pick up the loose ends type of girl.  however this doesn't help me get to the things that i want, this helps the go-getter get to what they want.

hmmm....

so i am still left with how to make somedays into todays.  there are things that will just naturally happen.  for instance having long hair.  if i continually miss my hair appointments, my hair will naturally grow longer.  i will get a new car when my current car craps out, they really only last for so long.  i talk about getting in shape and someday i will make it a priority, for now i have eight million excuses to keep that goal on the back burner.    
 here's to someday.  someday my somedays will be todays. 

meatballs...

my precocious, i mean precious, daughter is getting more and more interested in cooking.  this makes me so incredibly happy.  i love cooking and the opportunity to share this passion with her.  as most of you know i am most comfortable in the kitchen, although i am learning that my comfort level is specific to my own kitchen.  other people's kitchens (except for my mom's and bethy's) are not as familiar and cooking in them is uncomfortable for me.  anyway, i adore cooking.

one night as we were eating a dinner that my precocious, i mean precious, daughter didn't like, she says i want to make dinner tomorrow.  in my mind i am thinking she is going to torture me with some horrible dinner just to get back at me, but i decided to to let this play out.  what do you want to make?  spaghetti and meatballs.  phew...not as bad as i had envisioned. 

p's idea of making dinner is purchasing already made items (sauce and meatballs) heating them up and serving.  voila, dinner! for this mamma that cooks as many things from scratch as i possibly can, that is not cooking.  so we sat down looked through recipes and found a meatball recipe that seemed easy and tasty.  a time issue stopped us from making our own sauce, but next time we will get that going too.

trying to cook with a 10 year old that has a limited attention span has it's challenges.  first is the hand washing.  as she goes to dive into the bowl of meat i screech like a wild banshee have you washed your hands?  with a grin from ear to ear she proudly says yep.  knowing full well that she didn't wash her hands in my presence i naturally ask when?  a wrinkle spreads across her forehead as she tries to remember when, that day, she actually washed her hands this morning at school.  hmmm...well dear you need to wash them again before you touch the food that we are going to be eating.

with washed hands, she goes to dive into the bowl of meat.  another screech escapes my mouth wait!  first you need to read your directions and add the rest of the ingredients that get mixed with the meat.   just like watching a cooking program, i have all the ingredients out on my ultra small counter just waiting to be used.  she adds the bread crumbs, cracks the egg into the bowl, scoops out some ricotta cheese, and adds the spices.  now she is looking in the bowl, looks up at me and says i have to use my hands? 

she was so eager to play with just the raw hamburger, but now that there are slimy eggs, cold cheese, poky spices and crunchy breadcrumbs her eagerness has waned.  after i chuckle just a little bit (she is at that age where you can't poke fun at her or her attitude goes from superb to grouchy in less than a second and she disengages) i tell her your hands are your best tool in cooking.  get in there.  she reluctantly dug in, mixed all the ingredients and then we rolled them into meatballs.

when we sat down to dinner she was more excited to eat than usual.  there is a theory that kids are more excited and willing to eat if they are involved in the process of preparing it.  this held true this time.  they weren't the best meatballs i have ever had, i would definitely alter the recipe just a little bit, but p gobbled up her plate of meatballs and spaghetti like it was the best she had ever eaten.  ash is a different story he doesn't like anything healthy for him and chokes every meal down.

my precocious, i mean precious, daughter has expressed interest in making dinner again.  i will continue to encourage her to dabble in the kitchen.  hopefully, as an adult, her skills in the kitchen will mask the overall grouchiness that is peyton. *wink*

in case you wanted to try these meatballs yourself, here is the link to the blog i got the recipe from. hopefully the link works, i am not very tech savvy.  Plain Chicken: Beef Meatballs - The Meatball Shop:

serving hard time...

 

sometimes as a parent you are faced with protecting your children or letting them learn from their mistakes.  i think most parents have this overwhelming urge to protect their kids.  guard them from danger, shield them from the harsh world we live in, and attempt to keep them innocent as long as we can.   sometimes allowing our children to make mistakes, even colossal mistakes, is important.  important to their growth as a human.

our children grow up in a world where they are bombarded with information that they cannot process.  not because they are dumb or incapable of it, but for the simple fact that their brains haven't developed enough to process adult material.  even though we as adults know this, we tend to take a blase attitude about what our children are exposed to.  the it's just a video game or it's make believe attitude. 

i am guilty of this.  i have let my kids watch movies that are inappropriate for their age telling myself it's above their heads, they won't comprehend what is happening.  this in itself is exactly what i am talking about.  the reasoning that they can't comprehend isn't good enough.  they are still watching and taking it in, coming up with their own idea of the meaning. 

i draw the line at certain things.  i do not allow violent video games in my house.  i played video games when i was a kid, but there is a big difference between duck hunt and call of duty.  in duck hunt you actually hold a gun, aim and fire at a duck that falls to its death on the screen.  however, you aren't watching a soldier or yourself be blown into tiny pieces with blood squirting all over the screen.  i'm sorry gamers, but in my opinion this is too much for our youth. 

so i will come to the point of my post today.  this is my son, ashton.  he is 8 years old.  he is a fairly typical little boy, he loves playing army, drawing, picking on his sister, eating chicken nuggets and french fries.  he plays soccer, video games, shoots hoops and will ride his bike any time he can.  he is affectionate, empathetic and caring of others.

recently he brought a "tool" to school.  he had a multitool, like a leatherman or swiss army knife, in his backpack.  for most a multitool would not seem to be a weapon.  people my age grew up watching MacGyver.  i know several men my age that carry this type of tool on their person at all times.  at one point getting a swiss army knife was seen as a right of passage, so to speak, to manhood.  however, times have changed.  you simply can't have anything that resembles a weapon at school.  it doesn't matter if you never take it from you bag, they are prohibited.

i am not one of those parents that is disillusioned about my kiddos.  they make mistakes, they are far from perfect and i feel if i protect them from all those learning opportunities i am doing them a disservice.  when i got the call to check his backpack for a weapon i could have very easily said nope he doesn't have anything, but i am a rule follower and i am a horrible liar.  he received his consequence, which i felt was fair considering all the information i was told. 
at the end of the day this has been a good lesson for my buddy to learn.  it has also been eye opening for me.  my job of guiding and teaching is far from over and there are some areas that i haven't paid enough attention to.

typical night...

i had an unexpected night off. 

i did not want to be home alone, but i was also too tired to go anywhere.  i had thought about going to my favorite dive bar, sidling up to the counter and taking long draws of my favorite beer.  being able to sit in a dark, smoky (from the food), loud environment and contemplate my latest dilemma was super inviting.  except i had visions of falling asleep mid sip, falling off my bar stool and landing in a heap amongst the peanut shells and spilled beer.  this vision pretty much nixed that idea, besides i have never been a fan of going to a bar alone. 

instead i went home. i threw on my uber ugly fleece pants, ripped seams long sleeve tee, oversized hooded sweatshirt, fleece socks and my older than the hills down slippers, climbed under two blankets, hunkered down on the couch and watched my show from netflix.  i took a short nap, which rarely happens for me and ultimately went to bed.

while i was laying on the couch my fantasy land came to the forefront of my thinking.  my fantasy land where i am NOT a single gal.  that fantasy where i share a physical space with another adult, a male adult.  in real life i am attracted to highly driven men who always have a gazillion things that have to be done, this isn't any different in my fantasy land.  so, last nights fantasy was how i imagine a typical, kid free or after kid's have gone to bed evening, would be. 

since i am always thinking about clothes, what i will wear tomorrow, the clothes i wish i had in my closet, etc. it should be no surprise that my attire makes the fantasy.  for this typical night i am in a pair of cozy pj's, nothing overtly sexy, but definitely a step up from ugly fleece pants and hoodie.  more along the lines of a fluid pair of lounge pants and a tank, or short sleep shorts and a long sleeve tee...i am always cold i have to have part of me covered up.  hair would probably be pulled back in a pony or bun and if i wore glasses i would have those on too, because i hear that by the end of the day you really just want to pop those contacts out and let your eyes rest. 

there is a scene from the first sex and the city movie where carrie and mr. big are sitting in bed, he is working on something and she is reading.  this is the perfect evening for me.  to share a physical space and be comfortable with the silence sounds blissful. 

i am positive this scenario is in my future.  i will never have out of this world defined legs like carrie.  my room will probably never be that neat (i dump everything in my room).  i'm kind of hoping my partner does not sit all suave with his nightshirt unbuttoned, but sharing a physical space is definitely in my plans. 

t to the y...

   life with ty is always an adventure. 

this coming weekend marks our frienniversary.

 our first date, not sure you would really call it that but that is what we will call it, we went trapezing.  nothing like meeting someone for the first time and exposing them to possible death.  it was super fun, super hard and a memory that will last me a life time. 

 

 

 

we have gone to a hockey game, i got really dressed up for the occasion.  ty always puts up with my shenanigans and he smiles nice for pictures.

 

 

ty introduced me the best fish sandwich i have ever eaten.  it was a grilled salmon sandwich, somewhere downtown seattle.  we sat at the counter in these super awesome swivel chairs with really high backs.  oh my word that sandwich was fantastic.  we may have to go back soon.

ty and i try to get together at least once a month, which usually means we meet at azul's, eat fish tacos (no beans and rice for me) and have a corona or two.  then we skip on over to the jet and play darts and drink blue moon's.  ty usually wins, but every now and then i get a super good throw in.

 

 

we went and made beer.  oh my gosh it is really good, really strong and meant to be drunk with company.  our first time tasting our beer we were watching a scary movie and ty fell asleep leaving me to watch it by myself.  factoid about ty, he doesn't sleep, so when he actually sits down to relax he is out like a light in two point two seconds.  factoid about heather, i can't watch scary movies by myself, so i fell asleep too. 

 

 

 

 

ty is one of my absolute most favorite people in the world.  we have been on many adventures but seem to be lacking pictures.  guess i will have to work on that. 

happy frienniversary ty!

despite my empty mouth...

despite my empty mouth

the words are in my mind

this happens to me all the time.  i have something important to say, but i can't coax the words out of my mouth.  i am much better at thinking of what to say than actually saying it.  how does this work in the world of "good communication"?  well it doesn't.  it doesn't work at all.  good news...i'm getting better at it. 

i also have this problem when i have my "filter" intact.  when there is a hail storm of words i want to fire at someone but bite my tongue and keep them to myself.  i am having one of those nights.  as much as i want to fill you in on all the juicy details i am going to keep the words in my mind and the mind of the person i phoned to get it off my chest. 

speaking of the person i phoned.  i have to give a big shout out....thank you!  i have a couple people in my life who are always there.  day or night, i can count on them.  the friend i called tonight has been through a lot with me, yet is still there.  i can call this person when i am really struggling and say just talk to me, say anything, i need a distraction.  by the end of the conversation my "end of the world" moment is over and i am laughing my sides out.  i am so very thankful for this person i am not sure where i would be without them.

i guess there is a fine line between what should be said and what shouldn't be said.  i am still learning this lesson.  i may not ever really know.  this may be one of  those things that is a trial by error or walking blindfolded through a maze.  maybe if my mouth is empty it is for a reason, one i don't quite understand, but one i should pay attention to. 

the two opening lines are from an adele song, first love, from the album 19.  i really like this song and figured i would share the inspiration for this post...

dropping a deuce...

in my never ending quest to raise children that are accepting of all things, aren't embarassed by their bodies and have a sense of humor, i bring you....bathroom humor

gross but oh so funny.  for some reason our society shies away from talking about everyday bodily functions.  i grew up in a medical family, my mom was a family practice nurse.  we discussed some of the grossest things during dinner..women who have lost their feminine hygiene products and need help retrieving them, among other things.  bodily functions do not phase me...pee, poop, spray poop, vomit..you get the idea i am cool with it all.

so my next story may be a little too much information for you, but i think it's funny.  as the title suggests it has to do with poop.  if you can't handle a poop story then you should close the page now, no need to go any further.   for those of you who want to continue, you won't need a barf bag, there aren't any pictures to look at, but you will need to be able to visualize.  are we ready?  okay here we go...dropping a deuce.

on february 15th, i was having an evening poop.  i am not a poop at a certain time everyday kind of girl.  i know there are some folks who occupy the bathroom with their book, or paper, or maybe angry birds at the same time everyday.  i am not that girl, but i tend to poop everyday.  i didn't bring any reading material or even my phone, my insides weren't suggesting that i would be there long.

i pull down my black sweats and purple boy shorts, sit on the freezing cold white seat and push.  this was not the type of push where you must close your eyes for fear that the pressure will pop them out of your head.  it wasn't the type of push where a little grunt escapes your mouth.  this was just a give it a head start kind of push.  the task at hand was finished in a nanosecond.  i stand up, pull up my drawers and turn to have a look. 

oh come on, i know you look!  you won't convince me that you don't.  how many times have you felt like you just pushed a navel orange out your butt just to find a pea-sized nugget?  i will tell you i am so disappointed when this happens.  or how about this, you turn to look and think holy crap look at the girth, i can't believe that just came out my ass. hope i didn't hurt anything.  i have definitely had a few of those, it was a very unpleasant experience.  i know you look.

so i look and say holy cow!   this statement brings my son running to the bathroom.  for two reasons, one he is a very protective son and is always making sure i am okay.  two, he is a little boy and bathroom humor is right up his alley.  he says are you alright mom? yep, but that's the longest poop i've ever seen.   of course he comes to take a look.  he quickly pages his sis peyton come look at this!  P comes in oh my word mom!  ash insists that i take a picture, which i quickly tell him no and flush the longest poop ever.

the three of us got a good giggle and then carried on with our night. just another day (or evening in this case) in my house.