I put my work first, friends second and relationships on the back burner.
this would've been nice information to know from the get go. you might be saying, "maybe you should've asked more questions." well i did, i asked before even meeting this human. i can guarantee you there was no mention that a relationship was on the back burner indefinitely. if i had known i wouldn't have bothered in the first place, or at the very least said, "hey, thanks anyway, but i'm looking for something different".
i have had a certain conversation about intention with several men and women and i still don't understand why it is so hard to just be honest about what your intentions are. here is a list of possible intentions, but there are so many more you could rattle off;
- i'm just looking for someone to screw
- i'm just looking for a distraction to get over my ex
- i need a woman to be my date for functions
- i want a girlfriend
- i want to get married
- i need new friends, don't even care what you look like
it seems so easy to me to be clear about what you are looking for, so why say something else? yes, i'm looking for an answer better than, "to get you into bed".
i think the goal in dating is to learn something. dating seems to be a never ending process of narrowing down exactly what you are looking for. i learned that i now have an additional topic to bring up. i haven't quite figured out how i will seamlessly ease this into the basic get-to-know-you conversation, but maybe i could make it into a game?
how about this? if things are going well and i am interested in a second date i could whip out some cards (work, friends, relationship, family, sex, faith) and ask him to put them in order of most to least important. scratch that, that is a terrible idea. however, if we just had this brief conversation and relationship is at the end of his list, i will know not to entertain the second date and immediately friend zone him.
i think the goal in dating is to learn something. dating seems to be a never ending process of narrowing down exactly what you are looking for. i learned that i now have an additional topic to bring up. i haven't quite figured out how i will seamlessly ease this into the basic get-to-know-you conversation, but maybe i could make it into a game?
how about this? if things are going well and i am interested in a second date i could whip out some cards (work, friends, relationship, family, sex, faith) and ask him to put them in order of most to least important. scratch that, that is a terrible idea. however, if we just had this brief conversation and relationship is at the end of his list, i will know not to entertain the second date and immediately friend zone him.
2 comments:
I think asking is a great idea, but I'm guessing by his response to your after-the-fact question, that he wouldn't have answered honestly; the indicator being that he wouldn't even treat you as a friend. That's a harsh one.
T.R. as you pointed out, someone who has no integrity will answer untruthfully regardless. that person has an agenda and will execute it with little regard to how their agenda impacts anyone else. sigh.
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