it was just a kiss
before we are even aware of boys we are imagining our life happily ever after with prince charming. once we are aware of boys every single one we entangle ourselves with we think maybe this is the one?
the other night i was talking with a single guy friend. we were talking about a girl. they sometimes spend time together, but there has been no official talk of exclusivity. when they are together he treats her like his girl, but when they aren't it is an out of sight out of mind kind of situation. sometimes they are intimate, but not always.
the other night i was talking with a single guy friend. we were talking about a girl. they sometimes spend time together, but there has been no official talk of exclusivity. when they are together he treats her like his girl, but when they aren't it is an out of sight out of mind kind of situation. sometimes they are intimate, but not always.
i believe this is what is classified as casual dating. or maybe it is called friends with benefits. whatever you call it, i'm no good at this type of arrangement. i'm the type of girl who needs to know where she stands in his life and if we are going to be honest, i want to be number one. or at the very least the only woman. but this story isn't about me.
he was stating that she was wanting to label what they are and he was baffled that she thought they were anything at all. if my mouth was full i would've spit my drink on him. instead i let out a huge laugh. followed by a you're kidding right? he went into this long diatribe about how things were good, then they kissed and it changed everything. he said it was just a kiss.
why don't men realize that it isn't JUST a kiss? if a man is treating a woman (regardless of regularity and regardless of whether they've had the talk or not) like she is his girlfriend and she's into him and then he makes a move... her next thought is the two of you sitting in rockers with gray hair watching your grandchildren play in the yard. it was a good thing he didn't have a drink or else i would've been wearing it. it was his turn to say you're kidding right?
the answer is NO. i'm not sure why, blame it on disney, but we are programmed to daydream about our knight in shining armor. we can't help it. it just happens. you know when someone has a near death experience they see their life flash before their eyes? this is kind of what women do, or at least me, our whole entire picture perfect future life flashes before our eyes.
another example, this is a little more extreme. i have a good male friend who is perpetually single, just like me. there is one girl that he dated that stands out. it might be because i couldn't pronounce her name, it sounded like i was clearing my throat. which then made me laugh hysterically because i just couldn't understand how he could ever say hey hack-gurgle-hack-gurgle with a straight face.
anyway, they were newly dating, he was going out of town and decided to ask her to come with. then he was telling me about all the things he had booked for her while he was tied up with work stuff; massage, girly stuff, etc. i'm pretty sure i said, wow you must really like this girl? imagine my surprise when he said, i just don't want to be alone, and i like doing nice things for people?
well i couldn't disagree that having a handsome eligible man whisk me away for a weekend and pamper me sounded nice, but i would think there was a whole lot more meaning behind the reason for doing this. i cautiously said are you sure you want to do that? she is going to think you are going to get married. he guffawed and replied what? you're crazy. why would she think that?
am i completely off my rocker? if a man i was recently dating pulled this shit i would think he was into me way more than just not wanting to be alone. we already know what i would do if i was on the fence about him...i would run, but if i was wanting more from the fella i would think this move meant we are headed in the same direction on the same path.
he ended up taking her away then breaking up. as predicted he broke her heart. not on purpose. he's just a guy who doesn't understand that we gals look at the same situation differently. he wanted company she was thinking this guy is heading to the serious stage and allowed herself to fall.
so fellas, i'm not saying you should be a jerk, keep your distance, or never do anything nice for the women (friends or lovers) in your life. i just think you should be clear on what your intentions are. truthfully i think this is fair either way.
why don't men realize that it isn't JUST a kiss? if a man is treating a woman (regardless of regularity and regardless of whether they've had the talk or not) like she is his girlfriend and she's into him and then he makes a move... her next thought is the two of you sitting in rockers with gray hair watching your grandchildren play in the yard. it was a good thing he didn't have a drink or else i would've been wearing it. it was his turn to say you're kidding right?
the answer is NO. i'm not sure why, blame it on disney, but we are programmed to daydream about our knight in shining armor. we can't help it. it just happens. you know when someone has a near death experience they see their life flash before their eyes? this is kind of what women do, or at least me, our whole entire picture perfect future life flashes before our eyes.
another example, this is a little more extreme. i have a good male friend who is perpetually single, just like me. there is one girl that he dated that stands out. it might be because i couldn't pronounce her name, it sounded like i was clearing my throat. which then made me laugh hysterically because i just couldn't understand how he could ever say hey hack-gurgle-hack-gurgle with a straight face.
anyway, they were newly dating, he was going out of town and decided to ask her to come with. then he was telling me about all the things he had booked for her while he was tied up with work stuff; massage, girly stuff, etc. i'm pretty sure i said, wow you must really like this girl? imagine my surprise when he said, i just don't want to be alone, and i like doing nice things for people?
well i couldn't disagree that having a handsome eligible man whisk me away for a weekend and pamper me sounded nice, but i would think there was a whole lot more meaning behind the reason for doing this. i cautiously said are you sure you want to do that? she is going to think you are going to get married. he guffawed and replied what? you're crazy. why would she think that?
am i completely off my rocker? if a man i was recently dating pulled this shit i would think he was into me way more than just not wanting to be alone. we already know what i would do if i was on the fence about him...i would run, but if i was wanting more from the fella i would think this move meant we are headed in the same direction on the same path.
he ended up taking her away then breaking up. as predicted he broke her heart. not on purpose. he's just a guy who doesn't understand that we gals look at the same situation differently. he wanted company she was thinking this guy is heading to the serious stage and allowed herself to fall.
so fellas, i'm not saying you should be a jerk, keep your distance, or never do anything nice for the women (friends or lovers) in your life. i just think you should be clear on what your intentions are. truthfully i think this is fair either way.
3 comments:
OMGoodness...I would totally have to agree on this one.
Agree 100%! Men need to be honest-from the moment you meet until the day you say goodbye. It would be a refreshing change.
I've been known to say "it was just the tip" LMAO!!
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