if you don't have anything nice to say....

do you remember that phrase if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?  i remember my mom saying this to my sister and i countless times during our youth.  i was reminded of this saying over the weekend when i was called a whore by a virtual stranger.  the woman who said this to me i have not been formally introduced to, but i know who she is.

scenario
matt, myself and all the kids were off on an adventure, camping!  we decided to take two cars for a couple of reasons; one we can bring more things, two we were going to camp in between our places so when we left i could just come home and not have to back track.  so our vehicles are loaded, windows rolled down because it is a beautiful day, and i am following matt and his boys.  i knew that his ex (girlfriend not wife) lived in the same area but didn't know the exact location, i hadn't seen her around.  this particular day she was outside headed towards her vehicle when our caravan passed, i smiled politely, not in a "haha" kind of way, but just a friendly hello.  as i passed she took that moment to fire off her negative comment.

it took me by surprise.  i wanted to stop and confront her and if my kids had heard her i definitely would have.  i wanted to ask her a whole host of questions; "how do you figure?" "why are you so bitter?" "is name calling really necessary?" "how old are you?" "is there something you have to say to me?" "what did you hope to accomplish by acting like a 5 yr. old?"  i told matt about it later in the day.  not because i wanted to tattle, but more of a heads up that if she continued to be nasty and my children are present i will confront her.  he was very apologetic about her behavior and commented "that it is sad to see someones true characteristics when they aren't getting what they want."

this encounter has me thinking and wondering, why do people do this?  what is their motive?  what do they expect to gain from being nasty?  i know that i will never be able to understand other's actions i can only learn from them, but it still makes me wonder.  i do my best to treat others the way i want to be treated.  i say this to my children at least once a day when they are being rude to each other.
i think we all have had failed relationships.  i do.  in my lifetime, i have broken up with men and have been broken up with.  i don't recall ever having such strong negative feelings about my past flame being with someone else.  for instance i sincerely hope that my ex-husband finds a woman that he loves and is more compatible with him.  i don't wish him to be alone and miserable, we all deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

ultimately i will write this off  as a crazy encounter.  i have put more than enough energy into trying to figure out this woman that i have never met.  she has the right to think whatever she wants but it would be nice if she could keep her negative thoughts to herself.  i get that this is wishful thinking for all i know she could be writing on her own blog about how horrible i am.  however, she is more likely to be flapping her jaw to her girlfriends.  i haven't formed a huge opinion about her because i have a secret weapon kill her with kindness. another one of those sayings that i am sure we have all heard.  it is hard to continue to think negatively about someone when they are nothing but kind and pleasant to you.