stranger: that is the biggest smile i have ever seen, it looks like it hurts (insert an emoticon smiley here). you should tone it down a bit.
me: well it doesn't hurt, it is just how i smile.
i figured i would let it go, but then i got to thinking. i am really astounded at how free people are with their words, especially when on-line. there is a certain sense of safety knowing that this is a stranger and the likelihood of running into them at the grocery store isn't too high, but still. this just seems really rude to me and i will tell you it isn't the only time i have received an email like this. another classicly rude smile comment; what's with the over the gum forced smiles? really, come on?
since i couldn't let it go, i figured i would ask this fine specimen of the male gender what the deal is...
me: so i've been told this before and i figured i would ask. is there really something wrong with the fact that i am happy and have a big smile? is that all you had to say? if so why bother? i'm not trying to be rude, just curious.
stranger: i was just trying to help you get a date with some constructive criticism.
OH MY WORD!!! really?? first of all, i don't recall asking for his advice. i didn't seek him out and say hey what do you think of my smile? do you think it is a little too much? this would be a different scenario and maybe even something i could jump on board with. you know like hey joe-bob does this look okay? yeah i know bad example a totally loaded question, but it is all i've got at the moment. however, this is not the case, i have NEVER met this person so i know i didn't ask for the advice. second, if all my pictures have the exact same smile then wouldn't you think it was real? third, if you have nothing nice to say well just keep it to yourself.
i seriously wanted to respond with some smart ass remark, maybe something like you should lie about your height because ummm you are little on the short side. or maybe this is there a reason why you have no hair? i heard there are some new products out there that are really supposed to work? or this you seem to be carrying a few extra pounds you might want to hit the gym. instead of these wonderfully crafted "constructive criticisms" i chose to say well thank you for your advice but i don't know how to smile any other way, it's just my smile.
like i've said before i love the bad ass that lives inside my head. she is funny, courageous, mischievous and kind of mean, but i'm sure if her words actually escaped my mouth i could find myself in a lot of trouble. i can picture her in real life, she has crazy hair maybe a mohawk, lots of tattoos, several piercings, combat boots and lots of black leather. i totally have Lisbeth Salander from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series in my head, i wouldn't mess with her. but i am not her, i am just me, a few more manners and a little more tact than my alter ego.
i get that i am not everyones cup of tea and that there are things that you may not like, hey there are things that i don't like, but not everything you think has to come out of your mouth. i think a good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't say it to someones face then you probably shouldn't say it all. i am speculating that the "nice" man above wouldn't walk up to me, a complete stranger, and tell me my smile is too big and i should tone it down. i am not quite sure what i would do if someone (man or woman) did. i would want to kick them in the shins (alter ego) but i am sure i would exaggerate my over the gum, forced, too big smile and say Oh, ok.
3 comments:
People are rude and do not think about the consequences of their actions, much less their words. I know you know this and it doesn't have to be said. But seriously?? What an ASS!
You are beautiful and lovely just the way you are, and one of the most wonderful women, inside and out, that I know. To hell with the duchbag who can't see that for himself.
It's hard to imagine why people say the things they do. I wrote this week about some comments made towards my family and I'm starting to wonder if some subjects are difficult for people to talk about? But commenting on your smile and asking you to change what makes you, YOU, is just rude. It's like asking someone to be taller. Glad to see you can write about it and I have no doubt you'd never change your smile even if you could because the rest of us like you the way you are, smile and all.
this fine gentleman left me wanting to spar with him, but it would have fallen on deaf ears and ultimately would've been a waste of my time. i did attempt this weekend with the encouragement of my mamma friends to try on some different smiles. as you can probably guess this left us cackling like hyenas at how ridiculous i looked. so i am thinking that my too gummy, forced, giant smile is just going to have to do. :)
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