not a b.o.b....

i got a new toy for christmas.  no, it doesn't go by the name b.o.b.  my new toy has replaced my hot pink wishing bracelet.  i still don't know if my three fabulous wishes have come true, but i no longer have a bare left wrist.  my new toy is sleek, black, and smooth.  again, it doesn't go by the name b.o.b.

i got a fitbit.  it is this really cool tracking device, not the kind that the judicial system uses to make sure you are staying in your home, but the kind that tracks your movement.  it tells me each day how many steps i take, how many miles i roam, how many calories i burn, flights of stairs i climb, and the time.  all of this is done on a tiny LED display on my wrist.  very cool!

in addition to the wrist thing, which by the way is a pain in the ass to get on, there is an app for my phone which lets me track other things.  i can input how much water i drink a day, what i am eating, i can set up a weight loss program based on caloric intake and physical activity, i can even monitor my sleep patterns.  again, this is so very cool!

in order for all of these cool features to work on the app, you have to give it some information.  hopefully, all of this information isn't being sent to some secret government operation, but if it is, hey, how's it going? anyway, like i was saying, you have to enter personal information: gender, age, height and weight.  you knew this was going to be some personal slam about weight, didn't you?

before i go any further, i am going to stop all you folks who say, "stop being so hard on yourself, you look great" dead in your tracks.  i don't, i repeat, i don't think i look bad.  however, there is always room for improvement, and i don't care who you are, most of us have a little extra padding in the winter.  i prefer to look at my extra padding, as a protective layer from the weather, kind of like a down comforter on your bed.  now that we have that squared away, let's continue.

i had to enter my weight in order to make all the fancy features of this new toy work.  so, i begrudgingly drug out the scale, dusted it off, and stepped on to the darn thing.  i despise scales, even when i'm feeling great about my body.  seriously, weighing yourself  in the dead of winter is just dumb.  anyway, as i'm standing there in all my nakedness, i take a quick peek at the number...not so bad.  if i was going to go by the way my pants fit, i would swear the scale was wrong, because my clothes feel like they are trying to slowly suffocate me.

anyway, i picked up my phone to log in the dreaded number and was wishing that there was some sort of option to explain my current number.  check this out, i think i might be onto something.  wouldn't it be awesome if next to the number you could check a box that said it's winter or maybe my boyfriend just broke up with me or just had a baby?  i know we aren't really supposed to have reasons for our protective layers, but shoot, it would be nice.

so there you have it, a new toy.  i've come to learn that my protective layer is because i move about as much as a banana slug on any given day.  this year, my hibernation period will be short lived, this new contraption is inspiring me to beat the previous day's numbers.  time to get moving.