duped...

why is it, we say we want to hear the truth, but when the truth doesn't quite fit into our expectations we unzip our nice guy costume and unleash the beast from within?  i know that i am guilty of this.  i sometimes pout or get really angry or plead my case until i am blue in the face because my feelings are hurt, but is this really a reasonable reaction?

the other day i was faced with a human who said, "i duped them."  they claim that i falsely led them to believe one thing when my intentions were something different.  obviously i beg to differ, but that is always the case when two people are on opposite sides of an issue.

i think the problem lies in the fact that humans rely on how a situation or an interaction affects them emotionally.  we place stock in factors that are out of our control.  we have expectations of how others should treat us.  we have preconceived ideas of how our lives should go.  when one or all of those things don't happen we feel "duped".

tonight i will be walking into a situation with many unknowns.  seeing as how there are so many unknowns i have no idea what to expect.  i am sure there will be things that i don't agree with, that will hurt my feelings and that will inspire me, but above all else i am hoping for the stripped down truth. 

i have been preparing myself mentally so that i don't unleash the beast.  i am praying that i can be completely vulnerable without a iron wall to protect me.  i am hoping that i can shelve my ego and really hear what is being said, not just hear with my ears but hear with my heart.  i seek the courage to express myself in a manner that isn't accusatory and reflects my sincerity.  i am expecting clarity to a chain of pain so that i (we) can put it behind us.

if all goes well, i (we) will be on our way to mending a relationship that has been dragged through barbed wire lined trenches.  a relationship that has meant so much to me.  even if it doesn't go as well i hope, the truth, my truth and their truth, will be on the table and the unknowns will be gone.