everyone i know is a liar...

everyone i know is a liar.  liar in the best way imaginable, but liars nonetheless. i am not sure how they managed to keep their loose lips sealed shut, but somehow they did and it was the best surprise ever.  the master minds behind this extravagant web of lies would be my ever so clever stepmom, sam, and my two really good friends bethy and heath.  between the three of them, they managed to create, coordinate, and pull off one of the greatest surprises.  before i get to the actual event, i should tell you how they got me there, because it is kinda comical.

it all started with a text on monday, march 21st from sam, "your dad and i are going to sound to summit brewery for dinner and beer, do you want to join us?" first off it was a bit odd that my stepmom would invite me to dinner, usually those invites came from my dad.  i was thinking how nice, i would love to join them.  i don't get a whole lot of one on one time with my parents, so dinner and a beer sounded awesome.  i had one small problem.  i had a tentative date planned for saturday.  so i text back, "i love this idea, thank you so much for the invite.  i have tentative plans (a date) for saturday, i will know later in the week for sure."  sam must've been sweating balls, but she replied, "okay let me know."

wednesday, march 23rd rolls around and i finally know my plans for the weekend. so i text sam, "i for sure have a date on saturday, but what time are you and dad going to the brewery?"  in my head i was thinking maybe i can fit everything in (last soccer game for ash, date in the afternoon, dinner with dad and sam).  sam said, "6:30.  why don't you invite your date?"  i was like, wth?  i just met this guy, we've been on two dates and she thinks i should bring him to meet the folks?! she must be losing her mind!  i tell sam i will ask and let her know.  again sam must've been sweating balls.

thursday, march 24th today is the day i have to ask.  mr. saturday date and i are walking into the restaurant to grab a bite to eat and i say, "i have to ask you something..." i know that phrase, just like we need to talk are some of the worst phrases known to mankind to in the relationship world, but i was running out of time to map out my saturday.  so here's this man i've been out with twice (on the third date) and i casually say, "my dad and stepmom have invited us to join them on saturday for dinner and a beer at a brewery in snohomish.  do you want to go?"  i was holding my breath waiting for an answer.  i figured it could go one of two ways, "yeah sure" or "are you nuts, we just met and you want me to meet your parents?!"  mr. saturday date, looked at me for a minute (felt like 30 minutes) and said, "sure let's do it."  i text sam to say we were in for saturday.  i can only imagine the wave of relief that washed over her.

friday, march 25th i'm on my 5am walk with bethy telling her all about my weird plans for saturday. she asked me what i was going to do between the time of ash's game and meeting up with dad and sam and i tell her i don't really know, maybe go see the tulips.  beth to her credit didn't panic at all, but i learned later that i had just put another monkey wrench into the master plan.  beth could think of two scenarios that would ruin the surprise; we would either show up hours early and just hang out because there wasn't anything else to do or we would go to the tulips have such a good time and not make it to the brewery at all.  as you can see i'm a difficult gal to surprise.

saturday, march 26th, better known as bring the man you've only known a week to dinner with the folks day, has finally arrived.  i meet up with him at 3ish, he jumped in my car and we take off on an adventure.  oh i forgot to mention this, he is fairly new to the area, so i decided to drive because it is just easier.  anyway, i didn't really know where i wanted to go, but i knew the tulips in skagit valley were just starting to open.  it is pretty spectacular to see acres and acres of blooming flowers, even for a dude, so off we went.  the tulips weren't quite open enough to spend any considerable amount of time there so we decided to get a beer.

here's a life lesson that i will now live by 

use the bathroom when it is available.  

it is time to leave, we get back in my rig and start the 32 mile drive back.  i still needed to change my clothes and get to the brewery on time, it was going to be tight, but i thought we could get there no problem.  25 miles in and that sensation came over me.  you know that sensation that says, "get to a bathroom now!"  i was at capacity and desperately needed a restroom, but we had just passed the rest stop and i wasn't going to make it to my house.  i started squirming all over in my seat.  in case you are wondering it is really, really hard to drive when you feel like you are going to wet yourself.  i looked over at my date (remember this is the fourth time i've been in the same space as this person) and i say, "just so you know, i might pee right here in the car."  it is a good thing eyes are secured inyour head, because his would've popped out if they weren't.  he had a look of disbelief on his face and said, "i'm not sure a warning makes it any better."  sweet jesus please, please let me make it to a bathroom.

i make it to a bathroom, barely, quickly change my outfit and spruce up my make up a bit and we are back in the car racing to get to the brewery on time.  everyone who knows me, knows that being late is one of my biggest pet peeves.  i do everything in my powers to get places on time, but we were running late, about 10 minutes to be exact.  on the way there, there was a little bit of chit chat about my parents and what could be expected.  little did either of us know, we were both being bombarded.

i walked through the door, two weeks before my actual birthday, and there before me was almost all of my closest friends and family.  i was seriously dumbfounded. i had absolutely no idea that this was in the works.  the range of emotions was overwhelming and all of a sudden i was in the midst of the ugly cry.  i really just couldn't believe that all of these people, most of them i had just seen that week, were all gathered for my birthday.

for a brief moment i completely forgot about mr. saturday date, but then i remembered him and i felt so bad.  i was sure i wasn't ever going to see him again and i would be sending in my email to brooke and jubal's second date update to plead my case.  i learned that sam went to great lengths trying to find my date to warn him of what he was walking into and possibly give him the opportunity to bail. she joined people finder, called people out of the phone book and even joined the dating site i met him on with no luck.  he never got the heads up, but he was a total trooper and we are still talking.

so there you go, a 40th birthday party to write home about.  i had the best time.  i am so extremely grateful to all the wonderful liars i have in life.  

just the highlights...

we are officially into a new year.  2016!  i can't even believe it.  i remember being a kid and a year that started with a "2" sounded like a lifetime away.  yet here we are fifteen solid years into the 2's.  unreal.  so this is a big year for me.  in the year 2016 i will leave my 30's and enter the 40's (gulp) and i will officially have two teenagers (double gulp).

i was recently talking with a good friend who asked the ever dreaded question, "how are you?"  i despise that question, because there really isn't a good answer. am i where i want to be in life? no. do i know how to fix that?  not really.  am i happy?  mostly.  do i know how to fix that?  not really.  do you see where i'm going?  we talked a little about resolutions, something neither of us wholeheartedly partake in, and shared what our goals are for the year.  i call them goals, because a resolution sounds like instant failure, but goals is something to work towards.

in previous years my not-resolution-resolutions have been to simplify, to be more spontaneous, to drink more water, and to be less plugged in.  this year, i told my friend, my goal was to do things for me.  said friend asked, "what does that mean?"  to be honest i have no idea, but i am focusing on doing things that are geared just for me, that reduce my stress level, and things that feed my soul.

like previous years, i don't see this being a prolific blogging year.  just highlights of the best things i am doing for me.  obviously not all i'm doing for me, some of that stuff is not appropriate for public eyes, but the G - PG rated happenings of 2016. my crystal ball shows some really cool stuff for 2016: concerts, a long time wish come true, more red lipstick, and definitely some new adventures. stay tuned.

new stud...

recent text conversation:

me: i want to get my ear pierced again

friend: ooh, lets do it.

well i did it.  

went to pretty funky placed called robot piercing and tattoo in good ol' portland.

see that cute robot?

thankfully my favorite girls were with me.  i made them come in the room with me.  i almost chickened out.  my nerves were getting to me as we waited. 

my piercer, anna, said it will take about three seconds and you will feel some pressure and warmth. 

pressure and warmth...uh

 she started saying a bunch of other instructions and i had to stop her.  although i was trying to listen, i couldn't hear a word she was saying. i was really questioning whether i really wanted to go through with it.  so anna says, "when i tell you to breathe, take a deep breath in"

my last look of fear before we get started

anna told me to take a deep breath.  i did as i was told, i'm really good at following directions, and she pushed.  i immediately said, "HOLY SHIT!" loudly.  then exhaled, just as i was instructed.  see i'm good at following directions.  

there's anna

anna did her thing then told me i could sit up.  it may have lasted a little longer than three seconds and i don't remember any warmth, but surprisingly enough the pain didn't hurt too long.  even now it doesn't hurt too bad.  

see it?  

i now have my tragus pierced, i had to have my friend tell them what i wanted done.  i will wear this silver ball stud for a couple of months and then switch out it out for a diamond-like one to match the other diamonds in my ear. 

to celebrate my new piercing, we tried a new venue called the fireside and i had my first ever moscow mule.  verdict, not only pretty to look at but really delicious. 

copper mugs are the best

  a new stud to start off 2016. 

another successful trip to portland in the books.

more memories made with two of my favorite girls.

long time, no write...

hello!

i've been on a writing hiatus, not sure if two months counts as a hiatus, but it feels like much longer.  i haven't written anything.  no journaling of any kind.  no love notes.  no hate mail.  hardly any facebooking.  i must admit that i miss it.  i miss the creativity. i miss the clearing of my head.  i miss the outlet.  i miss sharing.  it's funny how the very reasons i wanted to take a break are the very things i am missing in my life.

so what the heck have i been doing the past couple of months?

marathon update...i didn't do it.  gasp!  i really did give it a good go, but my body wasn't having any part of it. training was going well until about mile 10.  yeah i know, not even half way, but let me explain.  first off you should know i come to the table with the cards stacked against me; my hips naturally rotate out while my knees naturally rotate in.  this natural deformity in my lower half puts a ton of strain on my joints.  twice, i have had custom orthotics and somehow i have lost both rights, or maybe it is lefts, in any case i have two of the same foot.  with that said, training was going well and then one day my luck ran out.  everything was going great, my knees weren't bothering me, my breathing was fabulous, my butt wasn't jiggling as much as usual, the sun was out, i was making good time and flo was happy.  i was on my way back (i had done an out and back instead of a loop run) flat pavement, no rocks, no twisting and my right hip started hurting, a sharp pain in the socket.  i slowed down a bit and the pain started migrating down my leg.  i slowed down even more.  i slowed down so much i sat down on the pavement and started stretching.  i ended up hobbling off the trail to my car.  by the end of the night i wasn't able to put any pressure on my leg without yelping in pain.  my children had a really hard time keeping a straight face, but i was in serious pain.  i ended up going to the doc, where i got an answer that i wasn't really buying, but went with it.  long story short, i tried running again a couple of weeks later and was still having major problems.  at this point my ankles were killing me, felt like my bones were grinding each other.  my knees were protesting with every stride.  my right hip was screaming at me to stop.  i was loaded up on a regimen of pain relievers and ice.  i realized i had to make a decision; my choices were ruin my internal organs with pain relievers and hopefully be able to walk with a cane after the race or throwing away my ambitions of running an organized race and be able to walk without the use of a cane.  i chose to walk without a cane.  i'm only 39, i would like a few more years of parading around in ridiculous heels.  i haven't completely given up my desire to run a marathon, i will definitely give it another go, however next time i will train at a much slower pace, work my way up to 26 miles and then go for a run one day.

dating...during my writing hiatus i was seeing someone.  it was oddly strange to not share the details of my romantic life, but in the same sense it was nice to have that entanglement just between us.  with every entanglement i learn something about myself.  what did i learn recently?  i am very set in my ways.  since the beginning of my single journey i have feared this very thing.  i have often wondered if i will become so set in my ways that i will have a hard time entertaining doing things differently. i now know that yes i will have a hard time entertaining doing things differently.  some would call this stubbornness, but i would like to put a positive spin on it and call it being comfortable in my skin and knowing what i like.  so there you have it yet another misadventure in dating, but i haven't given up hope.  thankfully my girlfriends and their better halves don't mind having me as their token single friend.

home life...i recently had my home broken in to.  this is a very unsettling thing to have happen.  if this has happened to you, you will get it, if not maybe i can shed some light on it.  i had come home from a weekend with the girls.  my front door was locked, just as i had left it.  i walked in and everything was just as i had left it, or so i thought.  i went to plug in my phone, which i typically connect to my macbook to charge.  so i walked over to the end table where my macbook lives and it wasn't there. hmmm...  i looked at the other table where my tablet lives and that wasn't there either.  i looked around the house and didn't see anything else out of place.  i called my kids thinking they had been by over the weekend and moved things around or took them over to their dad's house, but they hadn't been there.  at this point the only thing i noticed missing was the electronics.  my mindset was "eh not a huge deal nobody was hurt and my house wasn't ransacked, it is just stuff". so i went out to dinner, but while i was at dinner i thought maybe i should check my jewelry.  when i got home, i immediately checked my jewelry and sure enough it was all gone: my wedding ring, my grandma's jewelry, and all the other valuable jewelry i owned.  now i was upset, those items are things i can't replace and they held sentimental value.  i was up all night, i couldn't sleep a wink and i totally freaked myself out.  it was super windy out that night and my front door rattled with every gust and the motion light kept coming on in the back.  i sat on my couch looking from door to door like i was watching a tennis match.  i called the authorities the next morning, gave my statement and have been waiting ever since.  so far nothing has been recovered.  the few days after the break in, i was really freaked out.  it was so unsettling because it didn't appear that anyone had been there, so i kept wondering what else they had touched.  did they get in my bed? i washed my sheets. did they look in my delicates drawer?  i washed all that stuff too.  at this point, life is back to normal minus some jewelry and computers.  we are locked up a little tighter and i have successfully locked myself out a few times, but hey that just means so nobody else can get in either.

outside of those major things, life is pretty good;  kids are back in school, soccer season is in full swing, and my life is comfortably structured and scheduled.  i've been cooking a lot, getting in a little exercise, playing a lot of words with friends, reading, and making memories with my kids, family and friends.  hopefully life is just as happy and cozy in your neck of the woods.

mystery ahead...

it has been months since i have written anything.  i take that back, i write all the time, i simply haven't shared any of it.  lately my writing has been in the form of letters, with actual pen and paper, that never get sent, or papers that are read and graded by a professor i've never met in person, or entries in my private journal.

over the few years i have done this blogging thing, my need for blogging has changed.  when i first started blogging, i was smack dab in the middle of getting divorced.  my world was crazy, unpredictable, emotional, and uncomfortable.  i was having trouble making heads or tails of anything. the writing process was simply to make sense of everything swirling around in my head.  not only was i writing publicly, but i started a musing of the last 15 years.  60 pages in and i had to put it down.  i've picked it up a few times, but i'm never satisfied with how the story unfolds and truthfully it is hard to read.  maybe someday i will pick it back up and turn it into a masterpiece?

then the next phase of blogging started.  for almost a year i was a prolific poster. blogging left and right about the craziness i call "flo's life." this phase included everything and the kitchen sink: mommy failures, dating adventures, time spent with my friends, and a run down of new things from restaurants to experiences. during this time of my life i was very revealing.  regardless of whether i struggled or triumphed, i put it all out there.  part of that journey was being accountable.  i figured if i put everything out there i would have to be that same person virtually and in real life.  this is not to say that i was being fake virtually or in real life, it simply means that i was being as real, honest and transparent as possible.

although i don't regret living my life that way.  during this time i grew so much as a person, discovering who i really am and what i really want out of life, but i also discovered that there are definite downsides to being so transparent.  for one, i deprived someone new the opportunity to discover what i am all about in person. a savvy somebody can simply jump online and study everything there is to know about me over the last five years. that somebody then comes to the table with a list of questions that you wouldn't typically get to until one week, two weeks, or months later.

the other downside is i've lost people in my life over things i have said.  again, i don't regret anything i've shared.  every experience, every post, every emotion was impactful to me at the time.  i have however learned to wait until i've had a chance to simmer down and gain some perspective before sharing.  this growth has minimized the uncomfortable in person conversations with friends and family. i have never shared something in an attempt to intentionally hurt someone else, but i know i have hurt people in the process and i am sorry.

we jump to present time and i have a completely different need in regards to blogging.  i'm craving some mystery. i no longer have this need to feel accountable to me.  nor do i have this pressing need to organize the thoughts in my head.  i just want to experience life with the people i experience it with.  i'm not really sure where that leaves me in terms of blogging, but for now it means that i will be pretty quiet.

thank you for sharing in the process.

happy birthday shreddie...

today is shreddie's birthday.  

we met 9 years ago when our children were going into kindergarten.

she was a wreck, i was ecstatic.

we became fast friends.

you hear people say, "i can't imagine my life without you"

well, i truly can't imagine my life without shreddie

we celebrate birthdays together

we go camping

she's kinda special

she wears this crazy cowboy hat, a lot

she's the glue that keeps our big group together

whatever we are doing it is done with a smile

 and lots of laughter

  

 happy birthday shreddie!

i love you