who's the boss...

do you remember the show Who's the Boss with tony danza?  although the following story doesn't have anything to do with the show, the premise of the show, or any of the people of the show, the title of the show has been on my mind today.  i had one of those power struggles this morning with my daughter, where i had to show her that i make the rules and her job is to follow them.

monday mornings are a transition day for my kids.  transition days are always tough.  the kids have to put on their mom hats.  those hats magically remind them of the rules at my house, the hierarchy within the walls of my house, and the expectations at my house.  sometimes, the magic mom hats don't make it on their heads in time and i have to forcibly place them on their heads.

my preteen daughter forgot to put her magic mom hat on before entering my house this morning, which meant our morning sucked, i lost my cool, and ended up leaving my daughter at home.

in her defense, the kids get dropped off with very little time before we have to leave.  in my defense, my preteen daughter is old enough to know how to manage her time.  i have explained that if you know you aren't going to have very much time, you need to come home ready to go.  you shouldn't come home in your pajamas, still needing breakfast, still needing to pack a lunch, and still needing to pack up your gym and school bag.  for some reason this hasn't sunk in to her brain yet, it must be too full of saxophone arrangements, gymnastics routines, and what her friends are up to.

so this morning, like many other monday mornings, she waltzed through my door in pajamas and we had to leave in five minutes.  although i was irritated, i politely gave her a "we have five minutes, you need to hustle."  three minutes later she is walking through the house without pants looking for her favorite jeans.  i ask her what she is doing and tell her all the laundry is done, if they aren't in her room she will have to put on something else.  her response was, i'm just going to look for them.  i snapped at her and told her i was leaving in a minute and a half.

about this time, my son was looking at me cautiously.  i don't lose my cool too often but i was fuming.  in a not so pleasant voice, i looked at him and said you better be ready to go because we are late.  he jumped into high gear, getting his shoes on, gathering up his lunch and school stuff, and standing by the door waiting for the green light to leave the house.

a minute later my daughter was still strolling around the house.  i told her i was leaving, she needed to start walking to school and if she didn't make it, she wasn't going to to gymnastics practice.  i walked out of the house, barking at my son to get in the car.  he looked totally confused that we were leaving without his sister and kept looking back at the front door waiting for her to come bolting to the car.  she never came out the front door.

after dropping off my carpool kids and my son at their respective schools and stopping for fuel, i went back to the house. she was ready and waiting for me.  during the tense ride to school, i had to reestablish who's the boss, explain once again my expectations and rules, and really press the fact that i won't be coming back to pick her up if she misses the ride to school.

just another monday morning for the record books. i'm ready for tuesday.