let it go...

i was told the other day that i need to learn to "let it go".  instantly an image of elsa trudging through the snow belting out "let it go" from frozen popped into my head. thank you disney and you're welcome for that song now being stuck in your head.  this isn't what i wanted to talk about though, over the weekend, i received a message that has left me uneasy.

so the friend who told me to let it go, basically said, this isn't your business and not to worry about it. what i don't think that friend understands about me, is that once i care about you, regardless of what happens between us, i will always care about you.  i will always be concerned about your welfare.  i will always wish the best for you.  i want to see you succeed.  i want you to be happy.  it is part of what makes me, me.  i genuinely care about the people (past or present) in my life.  

you see, i think the person who sent the message is making a ginormous mistake. i understand the reasons, that they shared, on why they are making this particular decision, but i still think it is wrong. i recognize that i don't have a say in the decision or even that it will impact me in any way, but how do you shake the uneasy feeling when you think your friend is setting them self up to be hurt? 

is part of being a good friend, saying the things your friends don't want to hear?  i think so.  i have had really hard conversations with my friends.  i know i've said things that have hurt their feelings. or even worse appear to not even be their friend, but in the end those people who trust me enough to ask my opinion know i'm going to be honest with them and tell them what i really think.  

i wouldn't be me, if i had kept my opinion about this decision to myself.  my initial response was made through a phone call.  i wanted to make sure that i used my voice, even though it wasn't a strong voice.  i needed them to hear my tone, hear my words, and not leave my words open to interpretation through a text message. so i called and said i didn't know how to process the information, but i only want the best for you. 

this exchange didn't make the uneasiness go away.  i spent my evening trying to figure out what to do.  i was going to just let it go, as had been suggested, but the following morning i received another message. from my standpoint this friend isn't sure what they truly want and is making a rash decision to satisfy an immediate need.  i had to say something.  

i composed my message, took a deep breath and hit send.  i knew they wouldn't get it in time, the decision had a time frame.  i also knew that the recipient was going to be upset with me and probably not speak to me for a great length of time, but it was a risk i was willing to take.  this friend opened the door for the conversation and i had to walk through.

i don't know when the friend received the message, but they did respond with a "thank you for sharing, it means a lot to me."  at the end of the day, i just want the people in my life to be happy, to be successful in whatever they choose to do, and to know that i will always care about them.