erased...

i find it interesting when humans take drastic measures to erase someone from their life.  maybe you change your name, change your phone number, move homes, or in this day and age delete people from your social media avenues.  it is so easy to remove the presence of someone, but they are never really gone. 

i have done this.  not moved, that is way too much work, moving sucks.  or changed my number, i have troubles remembering my number now why would i change it?  or changed my name. have you ever changed your name legally?  pain in the rear!  this is only a viable option if you are in the witness protection program, on the run or you are required by law.  but i have deleted one person from my social media avenues.  it was a childish move on my part.  i acted out in the moment because i felt wronged.  after i cooled off i realized how immature i was being and made amends.

have you done this?  have you deleted, unfriended or defriended (not sure which is the grammatically correct way to say this),  or erased someone?  do you think about how that person will feel when you decide to take this step?  when you do this are you expecting some sort of retribution? 

maybe you are feeling miffed and want to stick it to them?  does your internal dialogue go, "i'm going to show them?"  mine did when i deleted that one person.  i was bound and determined to say, "you don't matter to me, it was nothing."  it didn't work, that person didn't even notice, and i looked like the batshit crazy person i was being.  jokes on me. 

maybe you feel like you are doing that person a favor and sparing their feelings?  is your internal dialogue saying, "i care about you and don't want to hurt you further, so i'm going to spare you from seeing my new life."?  i think this is a way to make things okay in your own head and really has nothing to do with the other person, but i could be wrong.  i've been wrong many, many times.

maybe you simply don't want to be reminded of that person anymore?  the feeling, the support or the friendship that you used to have isn't there anymore and you want to forget it was ever there.  the whole "blocking" feature makes it super convenient to erase seeing your past, but do you really forget?

lastly there is this, you are going to act in a way that they don't expect.  be the exact opposite of everything you've been up to this point so that the erased person is glad you are gone?  i don't know about you, but this just leaves me with more questions. 

in my experience our memories are with us forever.  we have triggers that transport us to a time, whether it be good or bad, we are trying to forget and forces us to remember.  those triggers can be anything; a smell, a song, a certain way someone touches you, the way the sun shines through the clouds, the sound of waves crashing on the beach, maybe even a phrase that was part of an inside joke between you and someone else. 

for me, it doesn't really matter the lengths someone takes to erase me, i will always have a memory of that person.  after the initial sting wears off, i almost always choose to remember the wonderful things about that person and what they once contributed to my life. 

with that i say

 

thank you for your friendship. 

i wish you the best

h